A Vampire's Bite

Some non-vampires often desire to be bitten. This is written from their point of view.

  A Vampire's Bite

 

I sit silently waiting

And wanting your touch

Across the room gazing

I need you so much

Inside me your goal

Will find such power

Releasing my soul

My blood you devour

Sinking deeper you go

Your fangs blood red

Draining me so

Too much to be said

I tense up with fear

Knowing the pleasure

The feeling so near

I will always treasure

My fate you will seal

As you hold me so tight

Your strength I will feel

From your violent Bite! 

Author's Note

Thank you for all your comments. I'm still learning and hope to get better the more I write. Please let me know what you think...

Reviews

[JenLyn]

This was a great write it flows well and the rhyme scheme it nice. I enjoyed reading it, unlike some poems about seduction etc. this one had speed to it, it didn't drag so it made you want to read it even more. If you're into vampires you should check out my poem "Love Letter To A Vampire" but honestly I think your poem is better. Good job! Keep it up! Oh and as far as learning and getting better all it takes it practice, and reading other poetry helps as well, so write until you feel like your hand is going to fall off. I look forward to reading more of your writing. :)

[S.W.]

I fell into your poem and just wanted it to not end. Nice story that's kept short but covering everything in her moments thought.

[Ashley]

The imagery flows beautifully within this poem and the feelings are intense and captivating. Well done! :)

[Alicante lullaby]

sensual...Silere...i think Cullens and nonCullens would be flattered...

[Jacqueline Lopez]

LOVE IT! I love the rhymes and the flow of your poem. I loved it all.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

i love this, keep writing!!!!

[Haifa]

From the title I thought It would be a scary poem thats why didn't want to read it but this time I said to myself be strong and read.. nothing scary lol ! But it's really great poem, even if its the only poem you have till now. I guess it is a good start for you. Keep writing !

[April Child]

I can feel the longing in your words and the piece flows well. If I'm being picky I would suggest tidying up a few words such as "and" beginning the second line, you don't need it, also look out for using too many "ing" words. That said this is a lovely sensual poem. Well done.

[Angel's Lady]

Wow...I never realized that a vampire bite could be so sensual. Nice job of giving me goosebumps! Great write!

[Halkhend]

its good you are going to be a great writer :) keep it up

[Star Wolf]

Awesome poem of seduction of just wanting wanting that bite! I fell right into your words!