9 ~ Shiver

"My mom can be kind of embarrassing sometimes," Hayate said as Nana followed him to a staircase. "so sorry about that."

     "Embarrassing or not," Nana began. "she's the only mother you'll ever get. Be grateful yours is here and not in another part of the world."

     "You have a point, I guess," Hayate said, sighing. They walked up the staircase and down the hall to his room.

     It was spacious. Grey carpeted floor, twin sized bed in the corner, a dresser, a side table with a lamp by the bed, and a desk for writing. He also had a guitar on a stand in a corner of the room, sheet music littering the floor around it. A window looking out onto the backyard was between his bed and desk. He had posters of the bands Trading Yesterday and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus on his walls. And then a single CD was on his desk: "Elliot Minor - Solaris."

     "It's not very big," Hayate said, "but we can both use the desk to do homework."

     "Nice posters," Nana said, still looking from poster to poster on his walls.

     "Yep," Hayate said, plunking his bag on his bed and sliding out his notebook. Nana glanced at the CD on the desk when she set her bag on the chair and picked it up, looking at it.

     "Elliot Minor," Hayate said. "In my opinion, there's only one good song on that CD. Hand it over." Nana handed it to him, and he took out the disk, walking to his nightstand and putting the disk in his CD player. He clicked the "forward" button until he came to track 10. Nana took the case and looked up track 10.

     "Shiver," she said aloud, thinking she had heard it before.

     A synth-type of sound started, with piano and guitar. Nana thought it sounded familiar, and when the lyrics began, she knew. Nana had heard it before. It was Nani's favorite song.

     Nana felt like she was choking when she heard that familiar chorus:

 

Ooh, what do we do now?/ Do we wait and sweat it out?/Do we focus on the shiver?/ (Hope is fading out) I'm crawling out to sea/ But these walls aren't helping me/ Do we focus on the shiver/ The shiver..../

    

     "Hachi, are you okay?" Hayate asked as he glanced at her, sounding a bit alarmed as he turned down the radio. "You look a little pale."

     "Fine," Nana muttered, not aware she was slowly sinking to the ground. Hayate turned off the radio and calmly walked over to her, kneeling by her.

     "Wanna talk about it?" he asked gently. Nana took a deep breath, staring at the ground, and said, "Nani used to listen to that song all the time. Shiver..."

     "Who's Nani?" he asked. Nana clenched her teeth and took another breath, keeping her head down. She didn't reply.

     Hayate put his hands on her shoulders. Nana turned her head and caught a glimpse of his left wrist, wrapped up in a white compression bandage. Nana looked back at the ground.

     "Nana, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Hayate said softly. "Do you want me to take you home?"

     "What's the point if there's no one to go home to?" Nana asked quietly, remembering that her father said he wouldn't be home after school was out.

     "Do you want me to get you anything, then?" he asked.

     "No," she whispered. "but, could you...play that song again?" She looked up at him, who was looking at her with a worried yet calm and collected expression. He grinned and said, "Sure. Then we'll get to work on our English paper."

 

Halfway through her paper about her favorite author, Stephen King, and also halfway through the song, Nana put her pencil down and said, "Do you want to know about Nani?"

     Hayate looked up from his essay and said to her, "I already told you, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

     "It really doesn't matter," Nana replied, staring at the paper in front of her. "You're my friend, you might as well know."

     "Well, then fire away," Hayate said as he got off of his bed and turned down the volume of the radio.

     "Nani was my older sister," Nana began. She then explained to him all that happened, how her parents favored Nani more than her, how she and Nani always fought, and how one fight led to Nani's hanging.

     "Things were different once Nani was gone," Nana explained. My parents fought more, blamed everyone but themselves for it, ignored me even more, and then we moved to a different apartment on the other side of town.

     "A few days after, y'know, the hanging," Nana continued. "I heard some girls talking smack about Nani, and I got angry. That was the first time I got suspended, in that fight. It was also the first time I actually gave a damn about her."

     "If you don't mind me asking," Hayate interrupted. "what did you do? That got you suspended?"

     Nana paused for a few moments, and said without looking at him, "The main girl, I pulled her hair out by the roots and slammed her against lockers. She had to shave her head to make it match, and she got a concussion. There was blood everywhere."

     Hayate said nothing to this.

     "I don't know why I didn't get expelled, but I didn't," Nana said quietly, her head still down. "And now you know what kind of horrible person I can be."

     "Your parents divorced after their main reason to be together was gone," Hayate said slowly, summarizing all he heard about Nana's life. "and your mom went to Europe and just left you with your dad."

     "Yep, she had no reason to stay."

     "And now...your dad gambles on prostitutes."

     "Pretty much."

     "What an environment to have to grow up in," Hayate murmured.

     "It's the reason I drink," Nana muttered, picking up her pencil once more.

     "Maybe you should quit," Hayate suggested. She looked at him, a serious expression on his face. 

     "It would be good for your health," he continued, and with a smirk he added, "and your remaining brain cells."

     "Shut up," Nana said, grimacing. There was a soft knock at the doorway, and Rin walked in through the open door with the plate of cookies and two glasses of milk.

     "Just thought you guys might want something to eat while you work," she said. "Oh, Hayate, your father said he'd be home by dinner."

     "When's dinner?" Hayate asked, and then quickly added, "Can Hachi stay for dinner?"

     "Probably around five it'll be done," Rin said. "but wouldn't Nana's father care if she had dinner over here?"

     "She told me that he's working late tonight," Hayate lied casually. "Riiiight, Hachi?"

     "Uh, yeah," she said, going along with it. "he said I was on my own for dinner when I left this morning. I'm not sure when he'll be back home."

     "Well, then you're welcome to stay," Rin said with a smile. "Come on down when you're done, Midori's struggling with a puzzle right now and she looks like her heads about to explode."

     "Will do," Hayate said, taking a cookie and tossing it to Nana. Rin left, leaving the door open like it was, and started humming "Shiver" as she walked away down the hall to the stairs.

     "Why?" Nana asked, looking at Hayate as she set the cookie down on the table.

     "Because," Hayate said. "remember what I said about emotional scars?" Nana blinked, and remembered. The day before at the park.

     "Sometimes, people with emotional scars of their own need to help others with similar scars," he had said. Nana nodded, remembering.

     "But I don't see how that's connected," Nana said, staring at the paper in front of her once more. 

     "It's just like the situation with the coat," Hayate said. "It really doesn't make sense."

     Nana's ears turned pink, remembering he gave her his coat. Remembering his words on emotional scars. And then, remembering the compression bandage on his wrist.

     "Hayate," Nana said, looking at him. "hand me that glass of milk, I'm dying for a drink." Hayate grinned and handed her the glass.

Author's Note

Sorry it took so long. :3

Reviews

[halflives]

This was an awesome installment! Way to go!

[dachildofevil]

id read it an post a relevant review but i havent even read the first chapters yet XD
i shall return :P lol

[Keevan]

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