21. Change

CHAPTER 21

 

 

 

 

Change

 

 

 

 

 

     We reached my suite, though I’m not sure how long it took us to walk. It’s the common length that I always take when I’m walking, but for some reasons, that was the longest walk I ever felt.

     The awkwardness when we talk was still in the air, but for him, it seems like nothing was wrong. But I guess if my company is someone like him, it really wouldn’t be that hard to get rid of the awkwardness. The lights were on in my suite, but I didn’t bother to be suspicious or anything. I probably left it on when I was rushing down to the beach earlier today.

     I nodded to Paulo, as indication of goodbye. I don’t want to hug or even shake hands with him, because I’m scared that something might come back; like the things that are already buried and those that I tried to forget and decided to just move on might be back in just a blink of an eye. And I know that it’s still possible, because I’m too naive about life. Like this morning, I even agreed to Troy’s stupid plan of pretending to be something we’re not just so Paulo would leave me alone, and for just one long walk, everything was changed.

     Paulo mentioned that his mom appeared to the foot of his bed one night, as a light glowing brighter than anything.

     “... I didn’t know what to think,” he explained. “I was freaked out and I don’t know if I’ll scream. But when I tried to speak, not a word came out... the light came closer and as if communicating with me in its silent ways and somehow, it made me realize everything that I didn’t see before. First, I didn’t mind it and thought I was having a weird dream, but when I tried to sleep. The light came a lot closer than before. I sat up straight and slap myself a few times. By the sixth time I did, the light did it for me and threw me off the bed,”

     “Nice story,” was all I commented.

     “Very supportive,” he said mockingly that I didn’t help it and smiled. I’m not sure if he was lying about it, but he did an amazing job if he is; but then again, he always did.

     I opened the door of my suite and was surprised for a second to see Troy sitting on the foot of my bed.

     “What are you doing in here?” I asked yawning.

     “Where have you been?” he asked nonchalantly, ignoring my own question.

     “I just took a walk... like I said,” I leaned on the wall and then looked down to my nails.

     “You didn’t say anything,” he sighed. “And you’re alone?”

     “Um, yah,”

     “You’re sure you were alone?”

     “Yes,” I sighed fretfully. “Um, can I sleep now and let’s just talk tomorrow?”

     He stood up and took a few steps toward me. “I thought you want to forget him? And everything about him?”

     So, he knows; great. “Let’s just talk about it tomorrow... or better yet, forget that something happened,” I tried to smile, though I, myself, don’t buy it.

     “Forget? That’s where you’re really good at... forgetting. Forgetting who lied and cheated on you. Forgetting who really cared for you, and forgetting who would actually do anything to protect you!”

     “Now look who’s talking! Who, in the first place, forgot the promise he swore he’ll never forget no matter what happens? Who swore that he’ll do anything to keep in touch and that nothing would ever break us apart!” I said as tears ran down my face. “It’s too easy for you to say things and be happy with your life without thinking what other people think!”

     “So now I’m the insensitive one? You know the whole story...”

     “Please, leave my room, now...” I dropped his gaze.

     “Taylor, be mad at me or whatever you want, but please take a distance from Paulo,” he put his hands on the walls, to make sure I can’t break away.

     “He’s leaving tomorrow. He only planned to stay for two days, and now those days are done...” I said not looking at him.

     “Promise me.”

     “I’m tired of stupid promises!”

     He pressed his lips hard on mine and took my face on his bare hands. When he let go, he slid his hands down to my arms and rested his forehead to mine. “Please, promise me...” he whispered in heavy breathing; in silence, I can smell the peppermint from his breath.

     “You lose,” my mood swung and my lips twitched in a crooked, rueful smile.

     “I know and it sucks...” he said closing his eyes.

     There was a long deep silence that entered the room, we both stayed in place without moving. I took the guts to break the silence, before it gets awkward. Like our position isn’t awkward, I thought.

     “Fine, I promise,” I murmured.

     “If you break that promise, expect that you won’t see or hear me anymore. We’d be like nothing happened,”

     I didn’t say a word and swallowed hard.

     It took another second before he moved away and stepped out the room.

     I slid down until I was sitting on the floor and buried my face on my hands; that was unexpected. Why does he hate Paulo anyway? Shouldn’t I be the one who should hate that guy and not him? I sighed and stood up as I ran my hand through my hair and headed to bed.

***

     The days passed warily. I mostly spent it with Troy, which to be honest, didn’t bother me at all. The thing that happened back in my room seems like just a weird dream. Neither of us spoke about it, and the awkwardness seems to be gone.

     We tried another set of extreme sports, including jumping off a helicopter and dunk into the ocean, bungee jumping, and wakeboarding. I don’t even get why I was scared of heights before; it’s unbelievable.

     Everything seemed to go fine in each day, though the day after the incident involving Paulo, Jason took a time to talk to me; well, that’s the only real conversation I had with him... and it’s weird. I’m not saying that he’s weird, though the things that he said were.

     “So, what did Troy did last night?” he asked.

     “I don’t know, I’m not with him last night,” I said taking a sip on my mango smoothie.

     “Really,” he smirked.

     “What do you think he did last night?”

     “Well, I don’t know, but I’m guessing he’s pretty mad last night after seeing you with Paulo,”

     “He told you about it?” I said like freaking out.

     “No, I saw you two...  and told him...”

     “You what?” okay, now I’m freaking out. “You’re the one who told him?”

     He looked at me for a second. “Is that a bad thing?” he said and then took another second before he continued, “Oh God, I’m so sorry...”

     I took another sip of my smoothie and looked at him. “And why do you assume that he’ll be mad after seeing us together?” I asked, having the same question last night in my head.

     “Because he’s in love with you,” he said as if it isn’t obvious.

     I suddenly coughed. “No he’s not. He’s just my best friend and he has a girlfriend.” Which is the other side of me; but anyway, he doesn’t know that Lauren is me, so technically he is in love with me, but he doesn’t know it... which leads me back to that he really doesn’t love me. And I don’t know if he’s gonna love me the same if he finds out the truth. I wanted to add.

     Jason just laughed. “He said the same thing,”

     “Because it’s true...” I insisted... even if it hurts.

     “Yeah? But action speaks louder than words. He even said something like he loves Lauren more than anything else, and even if they are not totally committed to each other, upon to Lauren’s request, he trusts her to be faithful as much as she trusts him. He even said that he thinks that Lauren placed him in a test to see if he deserves everything Lauren is giving him or something like that.”

     What did Lauren gave him? I asked myself. “Yeah, but he’s really just my best friend, and he thinks the same...” I said, wishing Jason is still right.

     “But action speaks louder than words...” he winked as he stood up and took off his shirt and dived on the oval pool... so much for a longer conversation.

     And after that, we never talk in more than ten seconds again.

 

 

     Tonight will be our last night in this island, and we’ll leave first thing in the morning. We gathered on the beach again and sat with a bonfire like what we did the first time we were here. Toni brought beers and sodas; well, the soda is just for me, since I mentioned that I don’t drink. I’m not sure how haggard I look right now, though I wish I’m not. My hair is in a loose ponytail, with some loose curls, and the added thin headband was no use. I’m not wearing any makeup; I’m on a slip lavender dress, and I’m covering my arms with a white chiffon towel, feeling the warm ambiance of the fire, while my feet are comfortably buried in the sand.

     I took another slice of spicy meatball pizza and huge smores and drank my can of soda.

     “How can you keep your skinny figure while you’re eating like a pig?” Troy asked staring at me.

     “What?” I said swallowing the last part of the smores. “I don’t know, it comes naturally,” I said drinking my soda again.

     “You almost ate the whole box,”

     “Hey, we have eight boxes of pizza... can’t I have one?” I breathed. “Besides, you can eat two boxes of pizza on your own,”

     “Yah, sure...”

     Andy, Clover, Toni and Jason suddenly ran, which isn’t really surprising. It’s always liked that; as if they’re communicating with their eyes, and do something unexpected to the eyes of others.

     I looked up to Troy who was standing up. “What, you’re gonna leave me too?” I asked finishing my slice of pizza.

     “Yah... I don’t want to be left alone with a pig,” he smirked and did a backflip thrice. Show-off.

     “Oh, c’mon!” I stood up and ran toward him.

     “You ran like a pig!” he laughed as he ran faster.

     Wait, what’s the use of running in a marathon last year if I’m not gonna catch him anyway?

     I jumped to his back and whispered. “You’re too slow,” and laughed to his ear.

     “And you’re too heavy!”

     “Excuses, excuses...” I laughed again.

     He suddenly tripped, I don’t know if it’s intentionally or not, which caused me to have a bruise on my right knee.

     “Ouch!” I looked to my right knee to see it bleeding. “So much for my modelling career,” I muttered.

     “You can’t be a model. They don’t accept the ones who eat like a pig,” he stood up and wiped the sand on his shirt.

     “Whatever,” I tried to stand up, but my right foot seemed to not be moving. It took me a second to let the pain from my fall sink in to me. I’m not sure if my foot is broken or not, but I’m wishing it’s just a sprain.

     “What’s with you now?”

     “I... I can’t move my foot...”

     “Let me guess what you’ll say next... it’s my fault.”

     “Yes... usually, it is...”

     “C’mon,” he took my hands and pulled me up.

     “What do you want me to do? Jump in one foot?”

     “Frankly, yes...” he said holding my hands tightly. “Place your right foot on my left,” he said placing his arm around my waist.

     “You do realize how hard you want me to do, right? You want me to somehow join a three-legged race?”

     “Fine. Just stop whining,” he knelt down as I climbed to his back again. “Oh yah, don’t tell my mom it’s my fault... besides, it really isn’t...”

     “Whatever,”

     He started to walk a few steps before he spoke again. “You’re really enjoying this right now, are you...” he said not as a question.

     “Enjoying what?” I asked confused.

     “Having a reason to hug me,” he laughed.

     “Why are you so confident of yourself?”

     “Because it’s true,”

     “No it’s not...” I bit my lip.

     “You want to crawl back or just agree with me?”

     “Fine,” I said resting my head to his shoulder.

     We reached my suite as I aided my cut on the knee and placed ice on my foot. Since it’s only a minor sprain, according to Troy, he advised to just put ice and cover it with ace wrap; okay, so maybe he’s the one who covered it since to be honest, I don’t know how.

     When I tried to stand up, Troy stopped me. “You can walk after a few days or something, but rest it for now,”

     “But”

     “No buts...” he cut me off.

     “Fine,” I said as he stepped out my room.

 

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