Still Here

You were supposed to be my protector

You were supposed to keep me safe

You were supposed to always love me

You were supposed to care about me

 

Why did you hurt me like that then

How come you didn’t use someone else

What did I do to deserve this

How did you become the one I needed protecting from

 

I was only a little girl back then

I was innocent and scared

I didn’t know what to do or how to react

Pain became a part of my  daily life

 

I didn’t know what you were really doing

My mind only knew that daddy was hurting me

You told me to keep it between you and me

Each time you were done you always say love you

 

I’d lay still on my bed tears falling quietly

The pain made it impossible to sleep at night

Blood feel from my body after each time

Nightmares constantly filled my dreams

 

I didn’t have anywhere to hide from you

If I pulled away you’d hit me

Mommy and you started to fight all the time

I became your personal tool

 

Some days you wouldn’t let me eat for resisting

Mommy didn’t care she was too busy

Eventually you left and I thought I was free

But I had to visit you on weekends

 

You scared me too much to tell her no

Tears started falling every time I was alone

You got really mean and rougher

You made sure I knew you didn’t love me

 

The pain reached points to where I couldn’t move

Bruises covered my body while blood fell from it

There was no way to escape this hell

Each day I’d put on a faker smile

 

I’d spend hours trying to feel clean again

Nothing worked I only felt very dirty

You almost got what you wanted

Why were you doing this to me

 

I was basically dead and didn’t care at points

People found out but nothing happened to you

But you weren’t going to win this war

Someone saved me and became my protector

 

I have won the war for the most part

I am here living no thanks to you

But I’ve become who I am ‘cause of you

I am still here no thanks to you

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

This a very sad piece and my heart goes out to those who suffer. Thank you it takes a lot courage to share something like this. Excellent write.

[Geralyn Miller]

Magnificently brave. Thank you for speaking out; please keep screaming as loud as your pen can write.
Bette is wrong, killing is too kind for non human animals that prey on children. Sentence them to life in prison, drop them in the lifer's pod in the prison, let the lifers know what they did. Give the lifers a reward every Sunday if the creature is still alive, let the prisoners do what they want with him. Baby rapers are lower on the scale than snitches!

[Ice QueenJen]

Wow this is a very powerful poem about what it is to be abused. I liked how you changed colors for the parts, and also showed how in the end your strength won out over this tragic event.

[Bette]

i am a MOTHER personally i think that anyone who would do this to a child should have body parts CUT off and should be forced to choke on them until they die....well done on writing this...true or not it happens and i feel deeply for the children in situations like this. bravo if true and bravo if not.. i am proud of you for this piece of writing.

[.]

I started reading this and stopped and then came back to it..it's an uncomfortable read, I know that is an obvious statement..It seemed very personal, I am not sure whether you have personally been through this experience but it is written with such emotion, that is a talent. not something I would usually read but you handled the subject matter very effectively..harsh on the heart strings especially having children..

[Dream Weaver]

So sad and heartbreaking...To think stuff like this even
exists is a crying shame...No child should have to go through
this period..Very brave of you to share this Kelly, I applaude
you..Stay strong ...

[Kat Plunkett]

I am so sorry that you had to go through this.. But, even
when it's something as horrible as this, everything happens for a reason.
You can help other girls who go through the same thing by telling them
how you got through it.. It happens to alot of people and it's really sad. I myself
have been sexaully abused more than once but not by my father..This is a really good write and you can tell it came straight from the heart..

[KL]

I really hope that the finished product of this poem brought relief to you, as it seems like this came right from the heart and was something necessary for you to do. My heart goes out to you and girls like you that have had to go through similar experiences. Thanks for sharing a piece of your soul, and I sincerely hope it helped you.

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

thank you for having the courage to write this. and I hope this writing helps you purge your hurts and may it be so cleansing for you Finally you can feel clean again for it wasn't your fault dont worry karma is a B***** +as sure as the sun shines!I've seen it before. maybe it may not be soon but he will pay in one way or the other. this is the cruelest act of violence there is to take the innocence from a child. and rob them of their youth which should be filled with love from family and nurturing. I hope the writer has gone through couseling it is so crucial for your healing. and yes it was a well written and emmotional poem. I'm glad you let your feelings out It must feel so cleansing. God can heal you of your hurts (whatever religion you may be) you are beautiful in his eyes and clean as white falling snow. please don't let this ruin your life. hope someone may be helped by you sharing your story

[Crowley]

This has been a reoccurring theme in my life, from sisters to wives, I really have a hard time believing just how rampant it is. And it knows no bounds. Gender, age, nothing and noone is safe. This is a very brave write. We need to be reminded of these things..keep our children safe and be ever vigil that we give them the start they deserve. Nice job.