Still Here

You were supposed to be my protector

You were supposed to keep me safe

You were supposed to always love me

You were supposed to care about me

 

Why did you hurt me like that then

How come you didn’t use someone else

What did I do to deserve this

How did you become the one I needed protecting from

 

I was only a little girl back then

I was innocent and scared

I didn’t know what to do or how to react

Pain became a part of my  daily life

 

I didn’t know what you were really doing

My mind only knew that daddy was hurting me

You told me to keep it between you and me

Each time you were done you always say love you

 

I’d lay still on my bed tears falling quietly

The pain made it impossible to sleep at night

Blood feel from my body after each time

Nightmares constantly filled my dreams

 

I didn’t have anywhere to hide from you

If I pulled away you’d hit me

Mommy and you started to fight all the time

I became your personal tool

 

Some days you wouldn’t let me eat for resisting

Mommy didn’t care she was too busy

Eventually you left and I thought I was free

But I had to visit you on weekends

 

You scared me too much to tell her no

Tears started falling every time I was alone

You got really mean and rougher

You made sure I knew you didn’t love me

 

The pain reached points to where I couldn’t move

Bruises covered my body while blood fell from it

There was no way to escape this hell

Each day I’d put on a faker smile

 

I’d spend hours trying to feel clean again

Nothing worked I only felt very dirty

You almost got what you wanted

Why were you doing this to me

 

I was basically dead and didn’t care at points

People found out but nothing happened to you

But you weren’t going to win this war

Someone saved me and became my protector

 

I have won the war for the most part

I am here living no thanks to you

But I’ve become who I am ‘cause of you

I am still here no thanks to you

Reviews

[SimplyDisastrous]

Beautiful, inspiring poem, Kelley. A heartbreaking, emotional write.

[Brad]

it seems we are both writing about disappointment today...sad write, loved it