Desolation

Life of a desolate. Let me make this clear:- The poem does not convey my feelings. It is just about someone who is a victim of depression, that's all!

I am sad and also sometimes glad,

Over the life to me bestowed.

Thinking about it makes me mad,

I should be striding on which road?

*

This life is brief and I am in grief,

I now hope for a ray of light.

Here, my life is like a fallen leaf

I wander like a string-less kite.

*

Even the satanic sky asks why,

 This cold world here is cruel to me,

 Rather than to live, I long to die,

Perhaps that way I can be free.

Author's Note

The poem adheres a strict syllable count of :- 9,8,9,8. And, rhyme scheme is also very strict. It is one of the toughest poem by me.

The poem is not about me, it is what I got in my mind, and then I let it flow in words. I am very positive by the way.

As always, the doors for critics are always welcome. Be harsh and strict while reviewing. I want to make this good.

I thank Sir Tate and Perkele.7885, for there kindness.

Thanks for stopping by and sparing time upon my work. Reading it is as same as honoring my efforts.

I firstly had named it "Introvert" but changed it and put "Pessimist". but soon after I again changed it to "Desolation" as many reviewers told me that, introversion and pessimism are different from depression. Thanks to those reviewers.

Image source:- Google

Devanshu

Reviews

[Ishita Dixit]

I wander like a stringless kite.
This can happen on more occasions than one.
As soon as I read this line, I thought that as a dreamer I can relate to it.
Just a thought.

Your poem is amazing. The rhyme scheme was good too.
The ideas were expressed brilliantly.
You are very cheerful and that's why its a pleasant surprise how you carved out a poem from the view point of a loner with such perfection!
Kudos!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for the beautiful review. I'm glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[Insight "MH"]

This is the ending of ones letting depression take over. So heavily felt, job well done.

Insight.

[Michele Harman]

Very good I liked it. You did a good job adhering to the structure and it had meaning at the same time.

[Devanshu Rajput]

I'm glad that you liked it. Thanks for your kind words.

Devanshu

[emmajoy]

' I wander like a string-less kite. ' I wonder, having used those words, the final phrase, ' Perhaps that way I can be free.' is intended to go hand in hand? Cleverly put.

You've combined structure and emotion in this poem so very well; the work displayed could have been over dramatic with erratic phrasing because of the subject matter, However, by using your own self.inflicted discipline you've presented thoughts and feelings with unapologetic style.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for those confidence boosting compliments. I am glad you liked it.

Devanshu

[paari]

A lovely rhythmic poem conveying a deep message. we all have those moments of darkness in our lives, when there are no rays of hope to cut across what we face. Desolate indeed is life, life that might not be worth living. But, always remember, one needs to be sad to be glad. One needs to know death to enjoy life. One must be a loner to learn how to live in society. Great poem. I enjoyed the read.

[Emrick]

Indeed, our lives are lives of desolate.
Lovely format of writing.

[Kshitij Srivastava]

I wish I could do that. A writing with a strict scheme and emotions this deep will always have my love and respect. Absolutely loved it. ☺

[Devanshu Rajput]

I am glad, I was able to deliver the essence.

Thanks for stopping by. I am humbled by your words.

Devanshu

[Leena Madhuri]

so Great my Friend! following the order of syllables is a tough work! this is beautiful!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks for gracing my poem. I appreciate it.

Devanshu

[Akshay Rawal]

One appreciable thing about your poetry is that while most people choose to be free, putting on self a restriction of sticking to a fixed rhyme scale or a syllable count is an audacious step which gives way to improvement. I am a staunch admirer of this creative and progressive approach towards poetry. Giving yourself challenges leads to growth, and it shows sincerity of an auteur. I found this after reading a few other poems of yours, like 'A Wish', wherein I saw you stated it to be your 'best so far' at that time. I too want to take a serious approach towards metric scales and literary devices in my poetry, but I just try to hum my poems into a song, as far as such is concerned. Keep Writing, Friend.

[~]

I feel you have described greatly the way the depressed person feels. I command you for the use of the rhyme and meter. A smooth poem!

[Devanshu Rajput]

Sorry for the late reply.

Thanks for appreciating my efforts. That means a lot to me.

Devanshu

[Devanshu Rajput]

Sorry for the late reply.

Thanks for appreciating my efforts. That means a lot to me.

Devanshu

[Rehan Roy]

The flow and the feeling in this poetry depicting a desolate is excellent. There is a difference between sadness and depression, being lonely and in solitude of ignorance and illumination. Being sad is not bad.

[Devanshu Rajput]

Thanks Mr. Rehan for the beautiful review.

Sorry for the late reply.

Devanshu