from a bad seed comes a good seed

from a bad seed comes a good seed

 

 

bad lands,

bad men with white hats

tomfoolery, not child's play

 

but she has one alone

and he took his six-shooter

elsewhere

for another draw

 

now her bonnet is sewn with sweat and tears

and for the rest of years

the child will be her own

tumbleweed expression

 

to be sown.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/1/19

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Not all heroes wear white hats and not all those in white hats are heroes. It seems rather prevalent today, especially among sports figures, who can make rock stars look like Puritans with their antics...have a kid and leave...seems to be the mantra.
If I'm sued for paternity I'll pay support...but I ain't got time for no damn brats.

Kids don't want anything but a parent to be there.
You have stated it far more eloquently that I would, I think.

A good write, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Ted...appreciate your review,
j.

[Chase Dylan]

I found it difficult to understand how you distanced your last "clean-up" line, and thus, made it a bit punctuated...
Then I understood upon re-readings that the last verse/part/stanza/w.e it is called...
Is a beautiful bridge between your near-rhymes...
A bridge that connects not physically, but sound-wise...
I like my six-shooter...
Time to go, I suppose

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Silente
j.

[Chase Dylan]

No problemo, was hard to review... Like most of your work for me... Because how do I review somebody I am constantly learning from, aha...
BUT I TRY!

[Lydia Shutter]

Not all the men wearing white hats are the good guys. Reads like a story about a woman who got pregnant by a man who moved on too quickly. The mother has to work so hard to make ends meet, but that child will know it is loved. You really can write about anything, my friend. Good one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful review, Lydi.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Great metaphors here Jacob. Reading through the stanzas it left me feeling mad as well as sad. Such is life for some.. Your title says it all. No doubt that child will be raised to the very best of her ability and will not turn out like his rapist father.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting...your take on this...but yes, that fits...very well...thank you for your insights, Chris.

[Rana]

How wonderfully encrypted, and neatly ordered and flowing, the stanzas each have a personality of their own as if as distinct as the three people they sequentially introduce, most skillfully. A good command of language, good narration, it made me suddenly sad when i reached the last line, and the best thing about it was how clear what you want to say is heard even from behind the code of metaphors and indirect references.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your elaborate and kind review, Rana,
j.