not so recently deleted

not so recently deleted

 

 

my computer said 

"this folder is empty"

i suppose, like my heart

 

no data worth saving

the past on a flash drive

hidden in a pocket of bad will

 

a box of old postcards 

on a hard drive that shut down

even though the message was not

to shut down because of necessary updates

 

contradictions in a save file

so i can open up thoughts of you anytime

and feel just as confused again

 

even with the computer turned off

the monitor of my soul

glares at me

like i am a virus

 

perhaps i am,

and spyware

needs to target what's left of me

 

and send it to trash

like a pop-up ad

unblocked

just to remind me

every time i log in to you

 

i may crash completely.

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/9/19

Reviews

[Cassie]

How did I miss this, You always amaze me with your poetry Jacob, sometimes I do not know how to review

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Cassie,
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

A tech-savvy poetic statement of lost love.
One virtual nervous breakdown.
For some reason, the saddest thing, to me, was that "box of old postcards."
Even though "computerized," it was something "human" I could relate to.
Still, a great piece of writing!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, there had to be a touch of something palpable...thanks so much for your words, Jimmy.
j.

[Stella Armour]

Think you need a brand new drive with lots of back up features Jacob so that you don't crash again ....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you're too funny, Stella...thank you for extending the metaphor even further.
j.

[R.E. Ray]

Well, J., as tragic as this poem reads, you didn't mention file failed to open due to old or outdated software. Maybe because I started college using a manual typewriter, and I've had a few like experiences, this one made me laugh more than cry. I suppose if one of the now-dead poets had written this poem "crashed" would have been "trashed"... as tossed in waste basket. Thanks for the trip down techno-love lane.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so that's it? i need new software...damn, why didn't i think of that.
and yes, on the typewriter...used to do papers on one of those, even before the electric typewriters...hard to imagine all that now with this technology we have.
thank you, R.E.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

The world is full of redirects and empty file folders that while not deleted have found their way to another place within the psyche. I have tried to recover those bites but the new system doesn't believe in reincarnation. Not sure of its belief system at all now. Still have the old photos in the picture file that pop up now and then … asking 'save' … 'don't save' … 'cancel'.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and do you save? or cancel?
i tend to save...too many memories in the cache...but i save.
read moreand do you save? or cancel?
i tend to save...too many memories in the cache...but i save.
thank you for your words, Ted,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Save every one. I guess I'm a hoarder.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

The first verse is so sad, each verse thereafter leading to the conclusion that you might crash completely. We all crash and burn at some point.

This makes me think of Leonard Cohen:

“Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.”

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.”

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love the Ash quote...wow...
thank you for your words and sharing, Linda,
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

You're welcome. :-)

[Lorry]

The waiting, the worrying, the pacing up and down. The disembodied voice rousing you from your angst filled thoughts. "Sir! SIR!" You come back from where your thoughts were leading you, only to be told "We done all we could sir, but im afraid we lost her to the blue screen freeze of death."
Forever lost behind that impenetrable sea blue peril.
Ive often wondered if they still see us from their other side.
Its enough to make your hardware soft.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love the metaphorical reply here...I think you just wrote "Part II" ....a sequel---
j.

[Lorry]

It has the ferl of a saga to me Jacob 😀

[Lorry]

Feel, i meant. Those damn ferls get everywhere. 😀

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hey, i "ferl" where you are coming from, my friend!
:))))

[barleygirl]

I've been thinning out my possessions in case I have to move from here (so far, they never put this place on the market, luckily). It's amazing how I can look at a journal or a floppy disk or a flash drive (where I no doubt poured out my angst-filled response to living) & wonder -- in the dumpster? *wink! wink!* This poem feels like looking thru one's junk & I don't mean that as a shortcoming! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, junk---sometimes i feel i just write junk...that should end up in the trash file...and then be disposed in cyber space...
thank you for your words...and sharing..
j.

[kentuck14]

Ah . . . cyber love lost!! Nice play on computer language to convey human affairs.
T

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, T.
j.

[DIVYA]

Perhaps, overtime, the emptiness and the contradictions get to us and fill us with toxicity. We’re guilty of indecision and confusion and our soul, like that monitor, is aware of the malware operating within. A familiar state of heart, narrated so well here, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

much indecision and confusion...for share...i like that..."malware operating within"
thank you, DIVYA.
j.

[DIVYA]

My pleasure, Jacob.