Wretch

Wretch

 

 

 

sedimentary

societal blunder

the one left to frigid winds

cowers to the countenance

masks her face with shame

 

she is equal

but their math

does not compute

she is left out 

of their equation.

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/18/22

Reviews

[M. J. Smith]

Once I felt as she does. But one day, I found poetry. I became powerful. Many never found their power. Many never come to understand, as I did, the power in solitude. For behind the masks lurks the same fear and inadequacy for with which they try to infect others.
Sad, true words. For only within can true worth and courage be found.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

fear and inadequacy are so hard to overcome, thank you, M.J.
j.

[Gee]

Leads me to think of how women, in Asia particularly, are treated as second class and subservient, to be used and abused.
Good morning Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, and I hate that they are subjected to that...we are all human and all equal.
thank you, Gee,
Good morning.

[Lisasview]

Good morning Jacob,
Your poem as always made me think..and, so I reread it several times..
I went from feeling this was about a young person not being accepted and feeling separated from his peers.. This, of course leads me to wonder about the reasons why.
Then, my thoughts moved onto grown-ups acting in hurtful ways... have they not grown-up?
And, finally my thoughts moved onto what is going on now.. So terrible..
Short ~ interesting write..pushing your readers to think..
Lisa, now in cold ~ rainy Spain,

[jacob erin-cilberto]

probably a combination of all made me write this.
Thank you for your thoughtful review, Lisa in cold=rainy Spain.
j.

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome..
Lisa

[andrew mitchell]

Unfortunately no small country is worth saving to the detriment of mankind no matter the suffering and cost. It’s a sacrifice we must endure seems to be the words our leaders are saying. And so we watch while turning a blind eye. This is where this write took me, my thoughts travel too much.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Wow, interesting take....and I can see where this would lead you there....so much on our minds as of late.
thank you, andrew,
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

she is heart wrenching .. the shunned by lessers for the very act of the shunning says i! make me think especially of the caste system in India ... i especially like your theme sir ... brings it front and center ... something we all experienced on one side of the fence or the other in grade and high school me thinks ... most, at least should, have grown up and out of clicks and bullying ... we can be so mean to one another :(
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, E,
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

or .. from L1-4 you could be talking about our President > : O

[Patricia Wedel]

The Judgement was handed down; however, there may be a redeeming Moment when the lightening and the Thunder resound. Perhaps, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Pat,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

A most uncomfortable place to be, on the outside looking in. This little piece of brevity leaves the reader with a feeling of exclusion and that is unpleasant, even worse if there are feelings of shame. Title draws the reader in.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your understanding words, Chris,
j.

[Relic]

Many too many suffer from this fate. They're a part of life's left-outs I guess. It hurts to know that.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, it does. Thanks Relic.
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Those last few lines are beautiful and chilling. ‘She is equal, but their math does not compute. She is left out of their equation.’ An amazing line I really get. What do we do when life is unfair and one is left out? Who do we go to then? A beautiful, memorable piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Vertigo,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

That which is settled in layers can be beautiful in its striations and colors but stirred in the glass and all turned to brown and mundane; it just becomes an indecipherable mess of incongruent mass. Individuality is a writer's only commodity and often our only social refuge. If the cream always rises to the top does it make the milk jealous? People do not drink cream by itself but they dilute it in coffee, tea or sweets. But milk might be consumed whole and found refreshing. Stephen King once said of his own writing that it wasn't filet mignon, just hamburger. But then, he added, a lot more folks eat hamburger than prime cuts of beef. The quantity must be balanced against the quality and appeal to the masses. I might have a bit of sympathy for the skim milk though; its watery texture lacks appeal to me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your kind and insightful review, Fabian,
j.