Chapter Two: The Taste of Love

What does this mean? That I have a stalker now or is this all just a dream? Yeah, that's it! It's all a dream, it must be. Surely this can't be real; it's too spookily coincidentally for my liking. I turn the radio on to try and relax myself with some music, but in truth I doubt it will help me much. I feel that since I learned that my online 'friend' was apparently in my Aunt Mona's café at the same time that I was, that I've settled into a state of constant panic and fear which hasn't gone away for the past hour and a half. I practically ran out of the café when the realisation of everything finally hit home.

As I ran over to my car I was glad that it was raining, so that I didn't look like a total maniac for running. I don't know how I managed to get into the car as my hands were shaking that badly that I dropped my keys a few times. Luckily my laptop, phone, school notebook and my diary were all dry in my bag, which surprised me as it's the worst canvas material possible.

I don't know how long I've been gripping onto the steering wheel for, but when I let go my hands are sore and stiff, my knuckles white with the tension in my body and mind.

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"What's up with you?"

"...What-?" I turn round to the passenger seat and there's Clara sitting there, giving me this bewildered look. "Umm... Nothing, I'm fine. Just tired, my mind's been elsewhere today." I turn the key in the ignition and the engine roars to life, breaking the silent patter of the rain outside.

"You're clearly not okay, your make-up's a mess and your eyes are all puffy - wait, have you been crying...?"

I reach over to turn the volume up on the radio, "I don't want to talk about it Clara, okay?" She doesn't respond so I pull out of the street of the house I picked her up at, and drive home in silence. Well not quite silence since the radio's playing, but I'm enjoying the absence of conversation as we drive down the coastal road home. The low hum of the engine and the chilled vibes of Bastille's song Overjoyed lulling through the speakers seem to calm my nerves quite a bit and I'm thankful for that.

Other songs mingled in the air through the window I cracked open once the rain had died down. The roads were quiet so we were pretty quick going through the edge of town en route to our humble abode.

I park by the road since Dad's car is already in the driveway. Clara jumps out first and runs to the front door, leaving the passenger door open in her wake. I grab my stuff and a bag which Clara probably deliberately forgot and lock up the car. Once in the house I dump everything in the hallway, kicking my shoes off and follow the sweet scent of my favourite meal - Lasagna!

I walk into our open-plan-super-modern livingroom/diningroom/kitchen and see my Dad taking the lasagna out of the oven, Clara sitting on the worktop with a fork hoping to steal the first bite.

"Hey kiddo," a voice appears beside me, along with an arm around my shoulder before I get the chance to shout at Clara and try stop her from eating my lasagna. I look up over my shoulder and see the best smile in the world gleaming down at me.

"Matthew!" I can't help from jumping about then grabbing him into the biggest bear hug ever. "I'm never letting you go Matthew, big strong soldier or not, you'll never be strong enough to pry me off of you!"

"Good to see you too Tally," he says and grips me back even tighter and picking me up. Now this is what home feels like, having my family all back together again.

"Ahem?" Matthew places me back down on my feet and I look up at him - he's all red and struggling to hide his smile, so naturally I burst out with giggles. Matthew then nudges me with his shoulder and I see he's also trying to hold his laughter in but he's giving me that knowing look of 'we're starting to piss off Clara' - oopsies!

"Can you two please stop acting like little kids; I just want to eat my lasagna in peace!" She turns to Dad to get conformation in scolding us but Dad just looks at us and shrugs, then goes back to setting the table.

"Wow Clara. What the hell crawled up your arse and died?" Matthew nudges me again but this time when I look at him he's got a disappointed look in his eyes - must've been the one curse word - Damn! "Sorry" I quickly mutter up to him then turn back to my sister "You know I love Dad's lasagna as much as you, but I thought you would at least be happy for Dad now his best friend is back from tour."

She looks at the floor, suddenly finding it much more interesting. To be fair, I know this is going to make Clara feel sorry for being mean, but at the end of the day what I'm going to say next is totally right... and I really don't want a drama as Dad's made his amazing lasagna which I can't wait to get a fork into.

"Clara" I say in a soft tone which makes her look up at me, "You weren't old enough to realise how unhappy Dad was when he was with Mum, and I know you miss her like hell but if you had seen the difference in Dad when he wasn't with her, you would want Mum to accept that their marriage was failing. Dad didn't mean to hurt anyone, and I already know how much Mum hated Dad being emotional and caring - you wouldn't believe the abuse Dad put up with just so he could stay and protect us from Mum. Mum is evil and you know it Clara. I'm thankful for Matthew being in Dad's- no, all our lives, and I respect him and Dad for both looking after us. Matthew knew how much the divorce would affect us all and he told Dad he'd wait until after the divorce was finalised he became more involved in out lives and basically being an extra parent. I don't know why you're always so hard on them Clara. Dad's finally happy, Matthew's making him happy; this is what a family should be - happy..." I trail off at the end, realising that Clara's now crying and that I've been shouting.

"I'm so sorry Clara, I never meant to shout at you. I'm just stressed and I just-" I walk towards her to hug her like I always do if she's upset, but she backs off away from me.

"Just stay away from me Tallulah" she whispers, her eyes full of disgust as she turns to Dad who opens his arms to her.

I get the message loud and clear, Dad will always take her side no matter what I do. I can't help it that I have the same temper as my mum and that I look more like her every passing day. I turn and run back into the hallway, grabbing all my things and scrambling up the stairs to my room. I slam the door behind me sending my own message to Clara, loud and clear; if you want me to stay away from you, the same stands for me!

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I don't know how long I've been lying face-down on my bed, but I figure that I better clear away my stuff which I threw on the floor in my stupid temper. I begrudgingly peel myself off my bed and try to tidy up my room to make it a little more presentable. The last thing I do is pile my school books onto my desk and set up my laptop to connect up to my printer.

Sitting on my computer chair, my new one with the pale purple leather-like cushioned covering, with white love hearts all over it; I open up all my recent reports I've been working on and check over them all for any errors to correct.

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I've now spent a good forty minutes fixing my poor spelling and grammar and printed off three of my reports due in this week and got a head start on my next history assignment, which is now boring me so I save it and flip the lid of my laptop down.

Ugh... Now I have nothing to do, but be left festering in my own thoughts - which is the worst thing I could possibly do to myself. I jump off my chair and flop back onto my bed and stare at my ceiling. It looks too white. My whole room feels too white and clean, it's almost sterile and reminds me of a hospital. But I suppose it's my own fault for wanting to have everything in my room white.

*knock-knock* "Tallulah, is it okay for me to come in?"

"Sure," I sit up on my bed, crossing my legs into a basket to await my visitor. Matthew comes in, closing the door gently behind him, and... is he holding a bowl of lasagna?

"You um... missed dinner so I saved you a bowl before Clara could eat it all." He hands me it with a fork and wheels my chair over to sit infront of me.

I take a forkful and sniff it "Ahhh, my one true love has been rightfully returned to me" I say before I shove it all in my mouth.

"Sorry I had to reheat it, but I didn't want you having a cold dinner."

"It's fine," I splutter out while still munching away, "I don't really care, but it's lasagna so who would care if it's been microwaved?"

Not five minutes later and I'm finished the bowl-full. I put the bowl on my bedside table and sit on the edge of my bed "Thanks for that Matthew. That was amazing as usual." He nods and smiles at me, "So when did you get back from tour and why didn't you tell me the last time you phoned?"

"I did tell your Dad, but I went home for a week to see my parents and Nicky was there too - got some time off work so it was kind of like a family get-together really. So I've been in the country since last Friday, but I didn't tell you or Clara so it would be a surprise."

I just smile at him as he gets up and sits beside me. "Sorry about that but even your Dad thought that I ought to go and see my family before-"

I quickly cut him off "I understand, but I meant what I said earlier - you're part of this family now too."

At that he smiles and wraps his arms around me and I grip onto him tight and breathe in his scent, This is home now; me, Matthew, Dad and even Clara - well she is my sister at the end of the day. Whenever Matthew's home I always feel a lot calmer, because he makes Dad happy so I'm happy. I know Clara's still adjusting but she knows well enough that Matthew loves her and treats her like his own daughter.

"I've got more surprises in the coming weeks for you all, but for now I'm just happy to be home" Matthew says waking me from my thoughts. We both let go of the hug but he keeps his arm round my shoulder, "So how's the boyfriend doing?"

"What?!" I look up at him, horror clearly written on my face, and he starts laughing at me.

"I know you don't have a boyfriend silly, I'm talking about your wee online friend that you're always blabbering on about" he says, still chuckling away,

Oh great... And I had forgotten all about what happened this afternoon, but it just so happens that Matthew brings up my so-called friend back the forefront of my thoughts again.