Cutlass

Making this one an interactive poem, which ending do you like best, cast your votes! lol Is it door #1 or #2? ;-)

You plunged your dagger in so deep

   it had cut me to the core

the blood trickled to your feet

   you said you required nothing more

Dagger ceased to be a useful tool

   once it dulled and spread itself so thin

shiny wore off as it sank its tip into a cesspool 

The moral to this tragic beat

as you can probably guess

tis don't s**t where you eat

                     or

The moral to the story

could be simply learned

Slice and dice is so nice

when the onus has been earned

Reviews

[KeeD]

Wow profound, I love how you circled such intense imagery around the phrase don't s**t where you eat. I pictured the dagger, I pictured the cut so deep, blood trickling down feet..the dagger being used to inflict so much hurt till it's nothing but scrapped dirt and then the different perspectives where the dagger could be heartless stabs of a man ego, etc.. there are many ways to perceive this short marvelous piece and that just proves that it's brilliant writing.

[Frieda P]

J'adore....!! I love how your mind works, you always catch where I'm going... ;-)

[KeeD]

for real ? I just sometimes think i'm crazy and perceive the total opposite of what you try to represent through your poems but you're to sweet to tell me other wise haha

[Frieda P]

lol, well, the crazy part is true! I'll let you know when you've gone off the beaten path. ;-)

[KeeD]

Haha :P you're cute.

[Frieda P]

;-)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Wow says it all really. Great write.

[Frieda P]

Danke. ;-)

[Sheila Kline]

Ending # 2 as I like putting the old one two punch to wrap it up - slice and dice! That dagger even though dulled can still cut the ways it needs to when it's given a reason to do so.
I like the opportunity to choose the ending. So, which ending did you go wit first?

[Frieda P]

Actually the second was first, I ended up posting the second, then the kimmer said she wanted to read the alternative, and so this is what happened? You following me Sheila? ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

that damn kimmer...if I ever figure who that little trouble maker is...

[Sheila Kline]

Gotta cha!!

[Frieda P]

OMG the Queen is MIA?

[KAOlmsted]

nah...present and accounted for...just wrapping things up, thought I'd stir the pot before I go :-D xoxo

[Frieda P]

So out of character for you, you feeling alright? :D

[KAOlmsted]

Ha! Yes...I can sleep easy tonight with that final helping of Frieda sarcasm all warm and fuzzy on me...love it, lady.

[Frieda P]

:D

[Emerald Seas]

Ah, an interesting read! I like the first few lines. In real life do we recognize what serves as the dagger? Sometimes it is sharp words, silence, trying too hard, or not trying at all... or not caring either way. Intriguing poem

[Frieda P]

Okay, you're the second person today, who've I read their profound serious works that totally blew me away, and of all my stuff, you read this crap! lol thanks :-)

[Emerald Seas]

lol - well, to be honest, I haven't seen you around until the past day or two, and this popped up on the sidebar for "related writing" while I was reading something else. :) I'll have to go over and check out more of your work. Happy?

[Emerald Seas]

And just to ease your mind, I am far from a decent poet. I can only write what grabs me - unfortunately that has been emotionally for ages now. I'm working on changing that! :)

[Frieda P]

haha, now you're just trying to pacify me! ;-P

[Emerald Seas]

lol - not at all. After I break away to have a little dinner, your work is first on my list (I have no list - so, maybe I am pacifying just a little)

[Robin]

Due

[Frieda P]

I thought you might say that. ;-)

[Robin]

devi essere psichico

[Frieda P]

Are you calling me a psycho?! :D

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

I have this recurrent line from some song that I can't remember that goes "it's cruel to be kind" and when I think of my ex, I think of a butterknife. This was a poignant read.

[Frieda P]

Thanks my friend, who's holding the butter knife is what I want to know?

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Well I'm not one to wield daggers, though sometimes I'd like to be more dangerous to the fairer sex, maybe you have some gut tips for me?

[Frieda P]

Two rules and you've got it made, we're always right, and you need to make us feel adored, oh, and take out the freakin garbage! ;-)

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

I'm thinking of trying to be more aloof (like the male version of being a b***h). My pattern Frieda is I'm too nice, so I need a reconditioning program that leads in the opposite direction to restore my integrity, respectability and gender power dynamics. Maybe I should take a course in queer theory.

Dye my hair orange and proclaim myself a feminist?

[Frieda P]

*rolling my eyes* yeah that'll work, try it and report back, that aloof stuff only works when you're a bad boy, and it only works for so long, just be yourself, without orange hair! You put up a facade, women fall in love with that and then it's all kaplooie after that cause you can't keep it up...well, you know what I mean. ;-)

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

yeah no bad boy blood here, I think I'll get a golden retriever one day and call it quits.

[Frieda P]

Hmm, bad imagery hon....

[KAOlmsted]

Nick Lowe...and yeah...bad imagery ;-)

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

You guys are perverted!

[Frieda P]

Who's the one calling it quits with the retriever here? ;-P

[Salar Majak]

Slice and dice is so nice
when the onus has been earned

i love these lines, rage is dripping from that poem and i'm loveing it!, i could pretty much say that about a certain person in my mind XD, great write! deffinatly a favourite of mine!

[Frieda P]

hahaha, when you write it, it reads bizarreO! did I say that? lol

[Salar Majak]

LOL! in a good way yes ;)

[Frieda P]

LMAO!

[quinfinn]

all i can say is "brilliant write" and i sure am glad you said onus and not anus...such a huge difference that would have made!

[Frieda P]

Bhahaha, you're confusing this with Back Door :-P

[quinfinn]

mebbe

[Ahmad Cox]

I have to admit even though I know this poem was supposed to be a lesson of woe I just ended up laughing all the more.

[Frieda P]

Always here for your entertainment Ahmad :-D
I'm glad you laughed!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Like ending #2 best but not sure about earning an onus?

[Frieda P]

The onus is the liability...so why do you like #2 if you're not sure? lol

[LA Lorena]

I prefer the second ending, but then you know I'm a sucker for a tight rhyme.

[Frieda P]

Yes, I understand ms OCD, thanks! ;-)