~When You Leapt

Your butterfly wings twisted 

                    by fate & obscurity

               plummeting into the grand abyss

             you took my heart with you when you leapt

                           hanging by a thread was no way to go

left behind memories, secrets and pain

         now divided by death I can't help but wonder

was there peace in your decision to fall?

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I think anyone who has had a loved one take their own life asked such questions... you will go crazy living with them unanswered, but you need to find peace by keeping them alive in your heart.

Have you ever heard "A Tout Le Monde" by Megadeth... if not check it out.

[Frieda P]

Only listened to it about a thousand times in that immediate time following the sadness....thanks Dale.

[rhythm&blues]

I've read quite a few sad poems tonight, this is by far the most affecting, heartbreaking read.

[Frieda P]

Thank you kindly R&B.

[annie lee]

The great darkness lying between those who choose to leave this world abruptly, leaving no message, and those of us who are left behind, is an impenetrable and unrelenting mystery. The questions will always haunt us, and the possibility of answers is a long shot. I think your words build that scenario with shards of glass edges, despite the softer image of butterfly wings. The abyss is not soft, and the question asked at the end has undertones of resentment. And that is brilliant -- because all of us who have suffered this way DO resent our abandonment, the loneliness and the question that will never be answered. We will never know the peace that perhaps they felt as they fell into the abyss. I think this is a gentle, chiding indictment of suicide as The Answer. Well done.

[Frieda P]

Exactly, there is a quiet resentment and with it no acceptance...thanks so much for your visit and thoughts on my page.

[Dr. Wood ?]

short and tender, yet harrowing too...there is an art to that..and you have it mastered...or should that be mistrissed......Great poem

[Frieda P]

Is that a new word, thanks Dr. Wood.

[TL Boehm]

I wish there were an "OH MY GOD" button at the cafe. A button to let the writer know - "Hey your work just reached into my chest and ripped my beating heart out of its bone cage and sunk a canine into it - and then left the mess dangling out of of my chest in the middle of the day. I wish there was a button - so I wouldn't have to tell you how HARD you punched me with this - but there isn't and so I can either leave without comment - which doesn't give you the respect you deserve when you write so well - or I can tell you exactly what I told you - and risk you going "what the? is her ish today? " That last line....that was the canine. Firmly planted in my fleshy stupid heart. OUCH is not enough.

[Frieda P]

I love your fleshy stupid heart and your review, thanks so much my friend, glad you 'felt' this one....

[Brianna Brie]

Sorry for your loss. It is a difficult thing to live with this pain. I can relate to each line. There are so many questions attached to a suicide, and your ending line expresses that well.

[Frieda P]

Much appreciate your sentiments here Brianna.

[Rita L. Sev]

Frieda, though my loss is not at all the same, I feel this one...
"You took my heart with you... now divided by death I can't help but wonder..."

No answers to your questions, but hopefully, a semblance of peace.

[Frieda P]

Never any answers as you well know Rita, thanks so much my friend.

[Barbara Walker]

This is great. I had that question once. I didn't get an answer. Enjoyed reading!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Barbara.

[Marie]

Don't think of it as a fall...but as flying...

[Frieda P]

You're a wise woman Marie.....

[Ravyne Hawke]

beautifully written, a question we will never have answered, and heartache that never goes away.. done well in your unique style of writing..

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Lori.

[Cool Handless Luke]

Frieda there is just something about this one that speaks to me. It's so personal and beautiful in a dark and poignant way. Even the format is perfect. It may not be the most technical or complicated piece you have ever done but this one has a soul to it that I felt immediately! I don't know the story behind it but I could guess...thank you for sharing this. Thank you for being real. This is the epitome of poetry for me. Never have so few words wielded such power.

[Frieda P]

Thank you kindly for your thoughts here Luke, I think it was written from the ink of soul, my sister took her own life, it hardly gets realer than that....just thoughts that are never far from my mind.