When the Rock Breaks

about a friend :) I think she'll know who she is

That moment

when the rock breaks

that moment,

when your rock skates

on the edge of the ice,

not paying attention to the heights.

When the person who is your rock

starts crying,

you don't know what to do,

normally, she seems like she's flying.

Without a care,

without any insecurities,

so when you have to be strong,

which, apparently you have been all along,

you crash and burn

and both get hurt.

When the strong one breaks

it's like seeing your fate,

because if she's gone,

you're not far beyond.

Author's Note

reviews please!

Reviews

[Odayin]

I read it 3 times, and you know what that means Sophie!! Novel Time!!:)
Okay so first things first, I really like this poem as it was unique, and I enjoy unique writing because it usually has a deeper meaning, as this one does. So starting off: nicely done:)

This is the way I perceived it:

Okay, now with the first stanza: the rock is excellent symbolism of something we love.
"when your rock skates
on the edge of the ice,"
I would have strong belief that you're referring to the reaction we would make our love just skated so mindlessly so close to death. Almost carelessly...how would we feel?

The second stanza relates to that moment when our loved one is crying and we don't really know what to do because we are so shocked. Usually she's so happy, so powerful, so invincible.

So now the 3rd stanza would describe that moment where we all try to be strong, try to have her back, try to fix everything, but we just fall short. As a result, all that hard work, all those wants and cares, all gone...crashed...burned...and sadly, destroyed.

The last stanza, which is my favorite, states that once the strong one breaks, once that first mistake, that first slip up and falling short, you can pretty much see what's going to happen next: you following in her footsteps. And those footsteps don't lead to a happy place...

But all in all I thought it was a really amazing poem and you should, once again, keep it up because we all enjoy reading them:)

[MandaBear]

an outstanding piece. Its very Wow!

[Kelsy]

That moment
when the rock breaks...
ah! such an outstanding piece.Nice (really).Brava Sophie!

[Mak Goalie]

thanx fr sending the review request.i love thy writings

[emman]

This poem is like WOW! very good! :))

[Destinyxi]

Very nice poem, I like the last stanza

When the strong one breaks
it's like seeing your fate,
because if she's gone,
you're not far beyond.

I like the rhymes :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words are true in this poem. When the person we depend on brake down. Can be scary. I like the flow of thoughts and the true ending. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Max Earns]

This is good, this is good! And you know why this is good? Because this poem is like a tip of an ice burg. You have these words that at first glance seem simple. But below these words there is a world full of emotion and verity. The depth of what you are meaning is incredible. I can definitely relate to this. EVERYONE has that one rock...

[Lydia]

I like this a lot! The flow and the theme.

[Amanda]

Seriously, out of all of us, you know more about me than most because I trust you enough to tell you. Love you Sophie, don't ever change who you are and keep writing!!

[Wild Willow Blue]

You described the connection between 'the rock' and the one whom the rock holds steady, just beautifully. Nice work.