Shinobi Poison

     © 2013 Marc Marlon Villaflor

Open your noxious lips

        Swallow my soul without fear

  The summer won’t dry

 

 

Reviews

[Peter H]

this is a well written one such vast meaning in such little words is this another tanka form ?

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Actually this is Haiku :) another japanese poetry in different form.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks for the reads Brother.

[icelandicblue]

Ah such danger in those words. Danger is its own aphrodisiac! Your few words pack a powerful punch.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks love hearing those great words from you, thanks for stopping and give the beautiful review.

[Pete Langley]

It took me some time, but I think I understand this. My image is of a maiden smitten by a warrior, yearning for his succour and protection, swooning at his potency. Stimulating. P.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Sir Pete :) always appreciate your review :) you got it!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Marc, I think you are fixated with Japanese things... Hehe. I don't know what Shinobi is. I guess you are hooked in it as I see it in the 2nd line.
Nice poem.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Dhaye, Shinobi is a warrior clan in Japanese history. They are the Ninjas Black or white they are lethal even thier lips. This is a lovestory of Shinobi Tribe. Thanks for reading Dhaye.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Marc, Gerard spotted the six on in the first line. Otherwise an interesting piece.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Yeah :) thanks a lot. Mr. John.

[Trigorin]

Great imagery in this. One thing - first line is 6 syllables. Other than that, good work.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Tri. :)

[DIVYA]

Wow!
Awesome dark poetry.
Incredible choice of words Marc!
You were astounding here!

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks Div :) glad you like thanks for the review :)

[Gerald Parker]

I can't understand why you describe your beloved's lips as 'noxious.' can you explain to someone with a small brain. Are you addressing your beloved or your computer?
Also I think you want to put 'without fear.'

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

noxious means toxic :) it is a shinobi