Friday 13th

Making my daily healthy smoothie for breakfast, Joe came downstairs and hugged me, he'd been gone 5 days yet i still had missed having him around! My little brother woke up soon after and i made him breakfast, guessing Mum was tired, so i got him ready for school. "Toby, come on, Joe will drop you off at school today, Mummy is very tired" i told him, but he insisted on saying goodbye to Mum before school. Mummy's little boy i thought then smiled to myself, i had recently been really happy, and Mae's party was going to be very very amazing i could just tell!

A few weeks past, and mum started to not get out of bed. She started going to the doctors, but just told us it was age. Joe started getting worried about her, and Joe is normally pretty chilled out about things, but after a month, she started to take us places. I went out for a meal with her, to frankie and bennies, and she told me that even when she's gone up with the angels, she'll still be here, with a tear in her eye.

Then Friday 13th April 2004, was the day where my life changed completely. I came in from a pool party, made loads of new cool friends, that invited me to loads of stuff, and overheard mum crying and talking to dad, i placed me ear to the door, and heard my mum whisper "i've got cancer" Suddenly my heart felt like it had shattered into a thousand pieces, my feet shook and i had to hold onto the wall to stop me from falling over, tears streamed down my face and my sniffing, and crying started to get harder, and worse, i ran down the stairs grabbed my phone and ran over to marcus's house.

5 minutes later i reached the door, i was about to ring when i saw the door open, and in it i saw marcus with his arms wrapped around the geek, who had dyed her hair. my heart shattered even more if that's possible and i turned round so he wouldn't see my tears, and had to quickly decide what to do, let him know i saw him or not. Turning back round to run, my tears soaking wet with tears, my eyes red, and feeling like i was about to be sick, it felt like this couldn't be real? This only happens in dramas on telle right? I pinched myself, and cried even more, i cried a river, i couldn't feel anything, i felt numb with pain, my heart stopped beating, and for that split second i felt like life wasn't worth living. I opened my eyes, and everything was blurry from my tears, but i heard marcus say a rather rude word, and felt him hug me. 

" GET OFF" i shoved him away, my heart slowly breaking into peaces, my life slowly getting worse, and the geek who i think her name is aimee started to walk out of the apartment, and tried to stay out of this. I let her walk away, i'd deal with her later, now i felt so fragile, so weak, as if one word would make me shatter into a million pieces - let alone my heart. To all those who have had this feeling - it's the worst, you can't describe it. All the memories of him saying he loved me felt like they were being erased, and suddenly i couldn't speak the millions of emotions i was going through in one second had got my tongue. So many words i could say but i was speechless, had i been cursed? Had i done something? Marcus looked at me, and his crystal eyes, seemed to turn to grey, and he wasn't saying anything. Until i got my breath, stopped panting like a hyena, and i weakly said " I love you, more than words can describe, and right now i have nothing to say to you, except that you have really hurt me, in words i cannot describe. The pain in my heart is unbelievable, i've never felt so bad. I came to you because my mum just got diagnosed with cancer, waiting to feel you're arms around me, and telling me it'd be okay, and i see you kissing her. 3 years Marcus, you just threw down the drain" Then the waterworks started up again, and i felt myself falling to the ground and i just sat there, head in my hands, and cried like a baby would cry when they didn't get what they want. I just wanted to wake up from this dream, but nothing could make me feel better.  I looked up at marcus and he seemed a totally different person, I didn't know him anymore. I walked away and I looked back and he was standing there, frozen.

That night, when everyone was asleep i sat on my bed, phone turned off, computer/ tv unplugged, sat in the darkness, listening to depressing songs,

sad slow ones, and then decided i would read a book. I didn't feel like calling my friends, and waking them up. So i decided to go outside for a walk to the park. I can't express my feelings at the moment, i don't know what emotion i'm going through. My heart has been stabbed - i have NOTHING left of me. It's like Marcus has the other part of my heart and just smashed it. I walked to the park, and found a boy around 19 there, sniffing something. He said hello to me, and i tried to think if i knew him, i didn't think i did. He offered me some drugs, and i said NO, but then after he persuaded me, it would stop the pain, i weakly said yes.

Few days later, i was addicted.

***

Charlie and mae were at the door, i told them to come in, and we were getting ready for Mae's party, when Mae suddenly shouted OMG! OMG! "what?" i replied, puzzled. Charlie then shouted " MADDIE!" they pulled out my supply of drugs.

A rude word entered my head, not to repeat.

" i can explain, i can" i said but mae cut me off " i don't want anything to do with you" and her and Charlie walked out of my room. That was it. I give up on life.

What's the point. I opened my balcony door, and looked down. Would 4 storeys high be enough to kill me? We'll see i thought, and put my foot up onto the railings..

Reviews

[Alex Thomas]

There's raw emotion in this chapter pulling huge sympathy for Maddie. You gave a natural series of horrible events leading to one decision making it seem very realistic. I await the next chapter.