I Yell and Shout

Chapter 2.

    I almost choked on my hot tea.
    "You're getting a divorce?" I asked incredulously. I looked from my mom, to my dad. They both looked guilty...or maybe it was pity. I couldn't tell. Tears started to well up at my eyes, starting to make my vision blurry. Oh, God, please don't cry. I begged myself. My mom rubbed my shoulders. I wanted to push her off, yell and scream at her, then make them beg for forgiveness. But I'm weak, and I just let my parents comfort me.
     "Oh, sweetheart. We still love you," my mother said, her voice oozing with care and love.
     "And never, ever, think that this is your fault," Dad piped up, putting his hands on mine. This time I did pull away.
      "Oh, shut up!" I shouted, pulling away from the table. The kitchen felt small and claustrophobic. The table with the checkerboard blue squares seemed foreign and different. The yellow curtains with the lace, it didn't feel very homely. More alien. My parents stood up, worry in their eyes. Like I was some escaped convict, not their only daughter. How I hated them at that moment.
       "Honey, are you okay?" my dad asked, his hands fumbling together, his habit when he's worried.
        "Yeah, I'm okay! I'm freakin' fantastic!" I yelled, making my parents flinch. I continued anyways. "In fact, I feel great! Y'know why? Because I'm sick and tired of you guys arguing all the time. I have to deal with it too!" My voice sounded sore and ugly. Before my parents could respond to my outburst, my older brother, Chris, walked in the door.
          "Hey everyone, I'm home!" He announced, like everyone was supposed to drop everything and greet him. I glared at him, wishing that a hole would burn through his skull.
           "Hi, Chris. Nice of you to come home. How about you deal with your family, for once?" I asked him casually. I stormed up to my room, pushing Chris out of my way. He had a 'Duh, what?' look on his face. I slammed my crappy wood door with the faded white paint, making an echo throughout the house. Collapsing on my bed, I pulled out my art box. It was a collection of art pieces that I had done over the past ten years. I searched for the picture I had drawn in 3rd grade. It was a crayon drawing. It showed me holding hands with Mom, Dad, and Chris. There was a rainbow over us. My hands were sticks and my feet were to big for my body, but it still got an A+.
             Tears streaming down my face, I tore the picture in half. Crumpling up both pieces into the trash can, I buried my head in my pillow. I fell asleep instantly.

Author's Note

Chapter 2. It is now...midnight! Hooray! I'm not really sure how this one came out, so please review?

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

Aw, poor girl! i feel sry for her! :(

[Livana Lowell]

"He announced, like everyone was supposed to drop everything and greet him. I glared at him, wishing that a hole would burn through his skull." I found this line funny in a sad way.

Anyways, to lengthen it, I would suggest describing the "worry" in the parents eyes like you described the dad's habit of worry. What does the mom do?

Also try not use too many adverbs if the reader can conclude what the character says by his/her actions. Like "casually" around the last paragraph. The reader can conclude that Melody is unhappy about the divorce so we know she was spitting words.

This sentence kind of confused me and when reading will make a reader stop, detatching them from your book: The yellow curtains with the lace, it was alien. While I understood what you were trying to say in a unique kind of voice, I found it quite awkward.

"flinch" is supposed to be "flinched" since you're in the past tense form of writing.

Also, this sentence was a little awkward: My voice sounded sore, and it did not sound pretty. All you need is one of them. You kind of repeated yourself. A reader knows that sore means the voice isn't pretty.

I still like it and is gonna go read more now.

[James Watts]

"You're getting a divorce?!"(avoid this. It is either a question mark or exclamation but never both)

This isn't bad. I would lengthen your chapters a bit, as in a printed book this only be maybe half a page. Other tan that not too bad at all.

[Bella-Marie]

Keep writing... this is really good