5 pieces to a Heart

A journey down my relationships and how I have grown from them

5 pieces to my heart, 5 to be complete
Piece one began school, grasping months to be free
Her hair brushed by the waves and rolled in a spring
Short, busty was she, the ones Id love to sting
A blow and some dry provoked virginity
Separation hit soon causing vanity

Piece number 2 came shortly with ease
Her singing of birds, body a tease
Stole my virginity, heart in need
First real love, waiting to be deceived
Blinded by sex, lust planted its seed
3 year illusion, all meant for me

As 3 stands in between, call her my "side chick"
Year 2 of constant lies, gunned her on my hip
Blondie blue Cali girl, note playing fingers
Infidelity making my will linger
4 months to please, down on her knees countless days
Discarded piece three, I saw no need to stay

Ventured off 2 and 3, 4 wants play
A dancer who invoked part and say
Young and free, hormones erupt inside
Long hair, small body, one I'd love to try
In love were we but friends built a wall
Piece 4, fast paced, last nothing at all

December chilled and there I stood, 4 pieces in hand
Physique became a bore, I hid in spiritual land
Thence came a beautiful woman, night's hair, sunny eyes
Painted the black and white that covered my empty skies
Constellations Wrote Our Names, I still did not believe
Searching in my heart, one piece missing, piece 5 was she

Author's Note

Messed a little with its rythm , case you are wondering it is 11, 9, 11, 9, 13

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ah well, it's nice to see you have grown out of them and that you got the courage to write it down too ;)

I must say you seem somewhat cruel with the piece 3 ;p
I hope you find the piece 5 you've been looking for haha :p
I enjoyed reading this. Made me smile :))

[Writing Angel]

I love this so much at is tells of the journey and the pain. and true love not lust shall be the string to tighten you heart back in whole...and the piece your missing because its with her...she will give you one of hers and a full heart you both shall have. I adored this poem so much. I applaud your muse as I truly see you within the words

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

There is another I see in these words, and oh, where will she be

[Writing Angel]

I am sure you will find her...

[Ana Papaya]

It all comes down to piece 5. I hope you find piece 5. I really enjoyed this little glimpse into your past.

[Sian Jo Fitzpatrick]

I really enjoyed this piece of writing.

The rhythm you created adds greatly to the poetic fluency of the piece.

Well done :)

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed 😊

[zunie frost]

it's such a awsome way to describe the piece of heart
the piece of heart are really beautiful

" Painted the black and white that covered my empty skies
Constellations Wrote Our Names, I still did not believe
Searching in my heart, one piece missing, piece 5 was she"

these lines above are really powerful
great work

[Davidgeo]

I get it, I kinda like it but you need to shave this down.... word economy will get you far.


And no, I wasn't f*****g wondering what your meter was.... save that for later.

Precisely with the current theme you have, butcher this down by at least 30 words less.

I got advice but, that's not as fun, you can have if you want though. Personal message style...

B-/C+.... fix it right and I bet this could be an A b***h.

"....5 pieces was she" I kind like it a lot in small bits..... but I'm a f*****g pirate, I need pieces of 8

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Damn pirates always hauling s**t XD. You want 8 pieces? Go find em dick. Alright. I'll shave some off. Hit me in that inbox.

[Davidgeo]

Try without me first... most of my tips revolve around abortion and fetus kabobs.

Just remember ... word economy.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Lol. I'll make a new version. This was too cute and cuddly. I gotta bring out the ugly.

[Davidgeo]

No no no, don't do that. make a new evolution. leave this how it is it's not bad. I've always wanted to do something like that... evolve a single poem over time, but display each iteration. I'm always writing about pirates and s**t, but you could do something like that with this.

[Davidgeo]

Write five more versions and publish all of them

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Lol dipshit you made me laugh!

[Davidgeo]

It's what I do... you owe me 5 pieces of 8. Get to work.

[hcarson]

this is good..different..not so sure mine would be so polite if i done one like this haha..it would read more like a crime article or something lol,,you done a good job, loved the tone and style of expression. well done sire ;)

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

make one! I really want to read all of the filth you have hiding. yes please

[hcarson]

.if i do then i private message you it for the giggle lol...should be interesting!..not as nice as yours..but interesting ;)