Dear Jayme. 6th Letter.

Emily 19 July 2008

The police was here again, Jayme. This time, they were escorting you into the house. You looked tired, aged and head hung low. I saw you and even though you had a battered front, I still ran up and hugged you. Just then, a memory came back. You were in preschool and I was outside, waiting to fetch you. Everyday when you step out of your class, you would spot me and come running, throwing your full weight unto me, knowing I would catch you. Today, I realised that you’re no longer a boy. You’ve grown.

You did not bother hugging me back, instead, you hands hung limply by your side. You waited until I was done before limping slightly back to your room. I looked wide eyed at Officer Cameron, “He’s different, isn’t he.” 

All the officer did was smile and nod sadly, “Yeah, Mrs Stymest. He is. He was caught breakin’ inta’ Mr Flincher’s house. Poor ol’ man decided to let your sonnie go this time, m’am.” 

Tears welled up in my eyes, it seems almost the entire town knew that you’ve changed. I nodded a silent thank you to Officer Cameron for sending you back to me before sending him down the front porch.

When I was back inside, I did not confront you. Instead, I went into the kitchen to bake. You see, Jayme, you used to go to his garden in the holidays when you were just thirteen, to help him plant his roses for free. It was an old woman’s way of saying thank you to a man like Mr Flincher. He sent me a note telling me that it was the best batch of cookies I made. What he did not know, that old man, was that not only was there eggs, sugar and almonds, I added a few new bittersweet ingredients- remorse, guilt, shame and sadness.

When you came back downstairs, you smelled like lavender and your hair was not a muddy brown anymore. You swept into the kitchen, oh, son, you still charm me like you used to, “What are you baking, mum?” 

“Just a little something. Want to lend a hand?” 

You broke into a smile, “Sure.” 

At that point, it seemed as if the old you was back, happy and helping. Before the sun set, a look I came to know very well settled upon your face and before midnight, you were gone again. Jayme, why must you break my heart so?