Freshwater Tears

Freshwater Tears

A Poem by Rita L. Sev
"

Summer, 2013

"
Ancient waters flow
in sepia streams
beckoning under a deceptive sky

ravenous after having her fill
she seizes
swallows whole
the drifting deadwood 
adding freshwater tears 
to the flood

© 2013 Rita L. Sev


Author's Note

Rita L. Sev
Searchers are looking for a teenage boy in Pennypack creek; this is the fourth such incident this summer.

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Reviews

Beautiful poetry... Your authors note is all too common here as well.. Thank you .. Rose

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Young people just do not believe the danger applies to them... Thank you, Rose.
A very frightening poem. The power here told of flood's is captivating. I had a nephew drown in a farm irrigation ditch.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Michael G. Smith

10 Years Ago

ignore this comment long day that isn't over yet.
Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Yes, home now doing some reading here and marking papers at the same time... :)
Michael G. Smith

10 Years Ago

Sounds my wife working planning lessons, entering grades until she goes to bed
Rita,
How wonderfully descriptive of the overwhelming and deadly power of nature. (Serendipity--read this back to back with another author's poem a minute ago about river's and sadness-- MG's)


Question for me to learn from--do you use a "modern" approach to punctuation when it comes to free verse?

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Thanks, John; I had just read MG's piece, which reminded me of this one I posted last month.
.. read more
A lovely, haunting poem. And then I read your Author's Note and I understand why. When children are lost this way, it seems senseless. Take care.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Thank you, Annie - yes, so senseless... We were taught to respect the old creek, but so many kids te.. read more
Well penned as always. Wonderful alliteration and evocative images. The first stanza had me in a trout stream but your second had a sense of dread and loss. I had not yet read your note at that point.
Given the note I have a question. And please forgive me for not knowing the story and I will pray for the boy and his family, but why "deadwood"? The aliteration would still be there with "dead" and the "freshwater tears" would be emphasized. Just my two cents.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Thank you, Steve. The creek is indeed filled with debris and deadwood; the bodies of the boys who fa.. read more
Oh this is so very tragic. There are no amount of tears that can be shed for the loss of a child.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

So true. Hoping this will be the last of these losses...
Such sadness Rita- horrors touch us everywhere and innocence pays the bill--Beautiful Pen to this sadness!!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Thank you, Soul - yes, innocence pays the bill indeed...
I don't know how to review this one, will just say I enjoyed reading it and you have a way of getting the attention of all your readers and as usual you always get me. Thank you for sharing

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Cassie.
This poem presents a strong image of a deceptive stream. Good flow and cadence. Baited by Summer heat and cool water, youth enter this tragic trap before it's sprung. Nature must be respected for her tooth and claw as well as her beauty.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Exactly. You got to the heart of this one. Thanks, Aethereal.
The allure and beauty in unison with the foreboding danger of a monsoon filled river !

You contrast the two extremes deliciously !

Posted 10 Years Ago


Rita L. Sev

10 Years Ago

Thank you, Tom. There really is a draw to the water, especially for the young...

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1271 Views
31 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on August 15, 2013
Last Updated on August 15, 2013

Author

Rita L. Sev
Rita L. Sev

Philadelphia, PA



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PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE "FRIENDING" ME: I am happy to be sharing my poems (and occasional stories) and thrilled to be reading fellow authors. About Friend Requests - It is wise to READ some of .. more..

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