Untitled

Just some things that came out... no punctuation just read it fast and keep the flow :)

Is it me or is it you

Complications from the truth

You should have lied

You should have tried

To fill the soul with many lies

 

The truth can kill

And lies don’t heal

They ease the pain before the kill

You broke my trust

Teased with lust

Made me feel

What was never real

 

A sickening feeling

Deep inside

Hearts on fire

Burning bright

You won me over

With lustful screams

Then slowly drowned

Away my dreams

 

My heart was blind

My sight alive

Could not see past all the lies

Too blind to see

Too dumb to read

All the signs

In front of me

 

Now I’m alone

I should have known

To never trust you

In my home

You failed to see

The good in me

And now you’re just

A memory

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please let me know your thoughts... thanks

Reviews

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Hmmm... As for the poem, i think its very well done. As for the meaning...now i'm speaking, based on personal experience... Well, i'd only write poems like this, if my relationship with someone i love would break. When someone i love...or to pick up the poem's atmosphere a little better, someone i used to love shatters my heart. Anyhow, you did great.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you IM.... I appreciate your review :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are welcome:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime a effort and care isn't enough.
"Now I’m alone
I should have known
To never trust you
In my home
You failed to see
The good in me
And now you’re just
A memory "
A strong story led to a sad ending in the poetry. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Coyote... I appreciate your review buddy! Yeah it's a little crazy because this was one of those writes that started with the first two lines and the rest just flowed... didn't really focus on the content it was as if it wanted to come out. Thanks :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You did very well. Create tale and sad ending.

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you!

[Blue]

While reading this mentally I thought "Hey, I can rap!" Haha!

[AaronFreitas]

haha sometimes it flows like that... when I wrote it I was mentally on stage with Kendrick Lamar haha... thanks for the review :)

[alf]

Hi Aaron. This poem doesn't just flow, it falls gently, like a waterfall that has many levels overspilling down to the next. I can feel the jagged edges of the rocks in your words, and the splashing stop start of water movement in your emotion. Raw and bitter, knowing you had been deceived, but not wanting to know. So real, so heart wrenching. Loved this for all the reasons above!!! alf

[AaronFreitas]

haha I read the first part and read "this poem doesn't flow..." so I thought this was a negative review followed by kind words lol... good thing I went back and re read the first part haha. I appreciate your kind review alf.. much appreciated :)

[alf]

Hi Aaron. I don't tend to give kind reviews (lol) sorry, but I do my best to give honest ones!!!

[AaronFreitas]

Honest is the best my friend :)

[nazia]

The flow was amazing Aaron it just kept me bound and ultimately led me to the world of your feelings. The structure is open and very fluid. Loved it :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Nazia... it was fun writing it with the flow and rhymes... didn't realize how dark it was when I was done haha... appreciate the review :)

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

This was a great piece Aaron! I fully connected with the feelings on this one. & I really liked the flow!
Great job :)

[AaronFreitas]

Aww thanks Nikki.... we usually understand each others work pretty well :)

[AaronFreitas]

Oh and I appreciate the review ;) IMY!

[♥ Ari Skye ♥]

You are ever so welcome, my friend!!

[...]

Aaron, I love your openness and style of writing. Deep emotion and sincerity.Very touching, you are :)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Lynn... open and honest is what I want so I am glad you like it. I appreciate your review my friend :)

[micky]

Wow Aaron...amazing piece...i love all the emotion.....specially the end when you make it clear how your not the problem....love it
Well done:)

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Micky... I appreciate your comment :) The end really tied it together better than I had hoped. Thanks for reading

[sereenaoutloud]

oh this is sad :( you can really feel the pain, hurt and betrayal over flowing in this! It is a fantastic piece with your usually style of raw honesty and i think one of my favourites of yours!

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you Serena... it was one that started with the first 2 lines and the rest just came out and flowed well so I went with it... glad you liked it :)

[julia senpai]

its very well done it have a lot of meaning to it i can feel

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Julia :) I appreciate your kind words my friend :)

[fattycbreezy52]

amazing.!
i actually feel that now I am nothing but a complete stranger to the word called "love"
They come,they deceive ,they leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AaronFreitas]

You said it right my friend! Thanks for your review new friend :)