Untitled

Untitled

A Poem by AaronFreitas
"

Just some things that came out... no punctuation just read it fast and keep the flow :)

"

Is it me or is it you

Complications from the truth

You should have lied

You should have tried

To fill the soul with many lies

 

The truth can kill

And lies don’t heal

They ease the pain before the kill

You broke my trust

Teased with lust

Made me feel

What was never real

 

A sickening feeling

Deep inside

Hearts on fire

Burning bright

You won me over

With lustful screams

Then slowly drowned

Away my dreams

 

My heart was blind

My sight alive

Could not see past all the lies

Too blind to see

Too dumb to read

All the signs

In front of me

 

Now I’m alone

I should have known

To never trust you

In my home

You failed to see

The good in me

And now you’re just

A memory

 

 

 


© 2015 AaronFreitas



Author's Note

AaronFreitas
Please let me know your thoughts... thanks

My Review

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Featured Review

Hmmm... As for the poem, i think its very well done. As for the meaning...now i'm speaking, based on personal experience... Well, i'd only write poems like this, if my relationship with someone i love would break. When someone i love...or to pick up the poem's atmosphere a little better, someone i used to love shatters my heart. Anyhow, you did great.

Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you IM.... I appreciate your review :)
Dani The Unreviewed

2 Years Ago

You are welcome:)



Reviews

Sometime a effort and care isn't enough.
"Now I’m alone
I should have known
To never trust you
In my home
You failed to see
The good in me
And now you’re just
A memory "
A strong story led to a sad ending in the poetry. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you Coyote... I appreciate your review buddy! Yeah it's a little crazy because this was one o.. read more
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

You did very well. Create tale and sad ending.
AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you!
While reading this mentally I thought "Hey, I can rap!" Haha!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

haha sometimes it flows like that... when I wrote it I was mentally on stage with Kendrick Lamar hah.. read more
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alf
Hi Aaron. This poem doesn't just flow, it falls gently, like a waterfall that has many levels overspilling down to the next. I can feel the jagged edges of the rocks in your words, and the splashing stop start of water movement in your emotion. Raw and bitter, knowing you had been deceived, but not wanting to know. So real, so heart wrenching. Loved this for all the reasons above!!! alf

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

haha I read the first part and read "this poem doesn't flow..." so I thought this was a negative rev.. read more
alf

2 Years Ago

Hi Aaron. I don't tend to give kind reviews (lol) sorry, but I do my best to give honest ones!!!
AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Honest is the best my friend :)
The flow was amazing Aaron it just kept me bound and ultimately led me to the world of your feelings. The structure is open and very fluid. Loved it :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Nazia... it was fun writing it with the flow and rhymes... didn't realize how da.. read more
This was a great piece Aaron! I fully connected with the feelings on this one. & I really liked the flow!
Great job :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Aww thanks Nikki.... we usually understand each others work pretty well :)
AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Oh and I appreciate the review ;) IMY!
♥Ashley Nicole Cameron♥

2 Years Ago

You are ever so welcome, my friend!!
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...
Aaron, I love your openness and style of writing. Deep emotion and sincerity.Very touching, you are :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Lynn... open and honest is what I want so I am glad you like it. I appreciate y.. read more
Wow Aaron...amazing piece...i love all the emotion.....specially the end when you make it clear how your not the problem....love it
Well done:)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you Micky... I appreciate your comment :) The end really tied it together better than I had h.. read more
oh this is sad :( you can really feel the pain, hurt and betrayal over flowing in this! It is a fantastic piece with your usually style of raw honesty and i think one of my favourites of yours!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you Serena... it was one that started with the first 2 lines and the rest just came out and fl.. read more
its very well done it have a lot of meaning to it i can feel

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much Julia :) I appreciate your kind words my friend :)
amazing.!
i actually feel that now I am nothing but a complete stranger to the word called "love"
They come,they deceive ,they leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

2 Years Ago

You said it right my friend! Thanks for your review new friend :)

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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 21, 2015
Last Updated on April 28, 2015

Author

AaronFreitas
AaronFreitas

CA



About
I love to write, most my work tends to be on the darker side. I write from my heart and tend not to mess with it too much. I guess sometimes I write and post without focusing on what everyone else w.. more..

Writing
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A Poem by AaronFreitas



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