Empty Soul

Empty Soul

A Poem by AaronFreitas
"

Originally a song I wrote way back Feb 10, 2008, changed a couple things so I could share. It was written about a specific moment in my life where things weren't good.

"

 

Nothing's ever perfect
Nothing's ever fair
I look into these eyes
And see this blank stare

Frayed since my creation
Abandoned from the start
My mother never loved my dad
And it breaks my f*****g heart!

Made to disappoint
Destined to fail
Created for your laughter
Only I could never tell

I am so pathetic
It’s so sad to see
I am just a worthless liar
but that’s what you made of me

That’s why you did it
That’s why you left me empty
Torn between my family
And it’s not sad for you to see

Why me? Why me?
What did I do to deserve this empty destiny?
Why me? Why me?
Take my empty soul and leave me free to be

You gave me life
But left me in this empty hole
So take my life
And my empty soul

 


© 2016 AaronFreitas



Author's Note

AaronFreitas
Please share your thoughts :)

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Featured Review

Wow....I'd share a song to answer this, but it's not on English, and i couldn't translate yet. . so ....

i can relate to this, all too well. (except for being a liar.)

but, take a quick note, we're all here for you :)
you're not worthless.
:)
you're one of a kind. no one could even think about asking for a better friend :)

i loved the write
full rating

Posted 1 Year Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Dani The Unreviewed

1 Year Ago

And you're welcome.
AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Awesome song to read to by the way! Almost couldn't even read your review I have my guitar on my co.. read more
Dani The Unreviewed

1 Year Ago

hehehe : )



Reviews

So, I like the rhythm of some of these. I think this needs to be rewritten as a song, preferably a rock song. Turn one of those stanzas into a good strong chorus, throw some lead guitar on that s**t and it's solid. You seem to have the same problem I have with poetry. A lot of times I end up with a lot of really good stanzas, but I can't seem to form them into a complete and coherent poem that just feels...finished. You know? But yeah. Song. Think about it.

PS: Think of like, Corey Taylor-esque vocals singing,

"WHYY YOU? Why me?
What did I do to deserve this destiny!"

Just an idea :p

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashley Flynn

1 Year Ago

Yeah, dude anytime. I had a feeling you'd be a fan. You in Hollywood? That's cool. I live in Long Be.. read more
AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Nah I'm 3 1/2 hours away in boring ol Fresno haha.... I'd much rather be in Long Beach :)
Ashley Flynn

1 Year Ago

the lbc is pretty tight :D
This is so beautiful. Okay. In love.


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much PeaceofMind :)
I am hearing Jeremy Camp in his younger years screaming out "Take My Life" as I read this. Not sure why as this is not what he means...lol but maybe it should.

Sometimes our lives are marked with so much crap that it is hard to see the purpose or the good. Just know that I think you are a work of art in the making. Not every picture is made up of pastels. It takes the dark and vibrant to make a work really interesting. Your soul is far from empty, my friend, although maybe it is the spirit and energy to fight back that is so. Keep on. Nothing stays the same for long. That is one of life's assurances. Change is the only constant.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
JayceeC

1 Year Ago

I'm glad there is something here you can use to lift you on the low days. It would be lovely to hear.. read more
AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Someday :)
That's a beautiful writing...it has a melancholic rhythm...too good and so true a feeling

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Thank you Dipanjan :) I am still working on playing my acoustic guitar with it... just gotta find wh.. read more
love it! i can totally understand your anger, i have felt like this many times and you just created something so"real'' and pure

i love it !!!


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Thank you shygirl :) Appreciate your comments :)
nope, none of us was asked if we wanted to be created or got to chose our parents for that matter. we can only try to cheat our genetic makeup and become ourselves instead of another generation of what our creators were. Why me indeed. I think a lot of people ask that question. It's a great poem Aaron. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

I agree my friend :) We live the life we are given and when we are able to we can choose to change .. read more
I would like to hear this Aaron...would make a good acoustic to me :) A driving of intensity throughout and despair felt...well layered :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

I am working on guitar to try and put it all together. I have no idea how my old guitarist used to .. read more
Wonderfully expressed and I have felt this way many times.I grew up with Parents who fought all the time,while I was growing up;- So it can leave a real empty hole in your heart

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

It definitely can... glad you could relate to the words in this one :)
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Tee
Wow. This is amazing,
I really love that last stanza, so many emotions.. life, death and emptiness, you described it all so well
thank you for sharing this great piece!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Thank you Tee :) I'm glad you liked it... appreciate your comments :)
I like it. I feel like it makes the message clear but also masks some of the deeper pain and feeling. =]

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AaronFreitas

1 Year Ago

Thank you Myzery :)

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1866 Views
75 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 30, 2015
Last Updated on February 2, 2016
Tags: dark

Author

AaronFreitas
AaronFreitas

CA



About
I love to write, most my work tends to be on the darker side. I write from my heart and tend not to mess with it too much. I guess sometimes I write and post without focusing on what everyone else w.. more..

Writing
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A Poem by AaronFreitas



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