A Confinement of Sorts

Experimental ramblings. Release. Might be editing later still.

I am twenty-four;

I live a life of expectations,

and not dreams, of responsibilities

and weights overburdening my

inexperienced shoulders.

I am twenty-four;

my smiles do not reach my eyes,

or so I have been told, neither do they

curve my lips, but stay frozen,

till my cheeks ache.

I am twenty-four;

as soon as I'm home, I exhale

a sigh of relief, often enclosed,

my mind, a sanctuary; a devastatingly

beautiful confinement of sorts.

I am twenty-four;

a woman born into being,

I live to please, I deceive

so many others, but no one

more than me ...

Reviews

[θεά]

What an honestly beautiful write this is Yumna! We first seek to deceive ourselves when we wear masks to please others, when we confine our worries to our subliminal selves. The pain of not being understood, the diffidence with which we reveal ourselves have to do with our deep seated (often correct) reservations about trusting our bare souls to others.

Beautifully expressed. A solid write.

Best,
M.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I love how you understand the depth of this write, Mallika. Thank you so much for your insight here and for appreciating. x

[A.L.]

Oh, how my heart breaks in response to reading this Yumna. I hope your future is so much brighter than it is now.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your wishes and for feeling this write, A.L. I appreciate it.

[Beccy]

Each year layers us; there is expectation, uncertainty, confinement, a shrinking within our own skin, but the light of the human spirit inexorably shines through; and ultimately, twenty four is just an irrelevant number.

Beccy.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are right, in the end age is just irrelevant on the whole to the experiences we gain...
thank you so much for your insight here, Beccy. Appreciated.

[Jon Roggie]

Sometimes it becomes automatic. It is actually terrifying. You learn how to hide your emotions, only to show a smile.

Editing note. Third line you have a semicolon after dreams. Probably a typo.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It's terrifying indeed, especially after you come to realize it...
And yes, a stupid error on my part, I corrected that. Thank you so much for reading and the heads up, Jon. Appreciated.

[Jon Roggie]

Things slip through. Glad I could be of help.
Find the time to let the smile reach your eyes!

[Verse]

I love this piece, Dr. Yumna, plain and simple. This is no experimental omelette. :):)

It sings with the poignancy of a single-line piano melody, lonely for harmonies.

It moves from the public interaction to private reactions behind closed doors.

It pulls away from the physical self then delves into the internal circumstance or emotions and thoughts.

Beyond an elegant message and soft yet edgy word choices, this is a complex statement of philosophy.

Unreal, just how good this is!!!

V

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Your review here sumamrizes beautifully what I tried to convey in broken fragments. Thank you so much for your lovely words here, V. Truly appreciated :)

[barleygirl]

WOW! WOW! And WOW! I try not to assume each poem is about the poet writing it. But this is irresistible & I have to say, this profile reminds me of exactly the impressions I've gotten about you, from the little bit I've gotten to know you. And this really helps, to understand the enigma that is you. This is by far one of your best. I love the title, which is brilliantly incorporated into your message (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Your use of the word 'enigma' for me makes me smile. I think, yes, this write is by far the most personal that I've gotten around to writing about myself and how I see my 'role' in this world, so I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much for your words here, BG. Always appreciated. Hugs back 💜

[The Walking Queen]

I stand stoned...etched in perfect...crumbling in my own mind. Its the hardest journey of life...not to be real...but to feel real.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I love your poetic review here. Thank you so much for your words, Queenie. x

[Crowley]

Wo...I wonder how it would feel if there came a time where this did not have to be a truth and that exhale could be for good? And what would it take to make that possible? I am always carried along by your words and insights, but at the end I am always stifled by an underlying sense of sadness and frustration. I hope that here, you feel comfortable enough to dream, because as far as I am concerned there are no responsibilities that you are required to take care of. Just write and feel free, which I notice you do very well. Maybe its the start of something great. If this is not about you, I apologize, but it seemed so well expressed that it had to be. Loved it!!!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Aye, this is indeed a personal write, as most of my serious posts are. .. I hope so too of that time to come, but yes, meanwhile writing is one great outlet I have in terms of exhaling the negativities of life...
Thank you so much for your words here, Crowley. Truly appreciated.

[Neville Pettitt]

I just love experimental ramblings... but this is so much more than that.. there is a very special specialness here.... Neville

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your kind words here, Neville. Glad you found it so. x

[Neville Pettitt]

my very sincere pleasure my friend x

[Ardra]

my mind, a sanctuary; a devastatingly
beautiful confinement of sorts...

i guess when the outside world suffocates us ...its our mind that can help us find a place that is a safe heaven for us... its a sad situation ... :(

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It's both a blessing and a curse...
Thank you for your words here and for reading, Ardra. Appreciated.

[Ardra]

very true... .a blessing and a curse..cant agree more..

[Einstein Noodle]

oh man! so descriptive and strong social commentary .. you show us her prison, her life so clearly with few details .. i see her .. she is the woman shackled .. kept back perhaps by upbringing, experiences, genetics or all three .. i would never go back to my "younger" days ... i have no longing for those insecure, impulsive, rebellious processes ;} well done ..this is what i like to call an important work .. so many people can "hear" it i am sure
E.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Well, I do long for these days to be over or idk, the mindset to change, hopefully.
Thank you so much for your words here and for appreciating, Einstein. I'm humbled. :-)

[Einstein Noodle]

Doc! you have a great voice says i! it is always a satisfying thing to read your poetry ...as for the hard change ... it is ...no denying ... perseverance and one foot after the other can win the day ;)