Evil and darkness

The vivid hairs

Of a darkened smile

Casts its shade

Over the sun

 

The day is over

The day is done

With no return

We all must run

 

For shadows are everywhere

The darkness taking over

We find we are lost

In the pit of despair

 

This place we once loved

This place was once our home

Is now just cold dust

Swallowed by unfortunate luck

 

We find we are stuck

Trapped just to watch

Our eyes can’t look away

From the disaster they made

 

For no more noise

The silence echoes

Everything falls

Without a sound

 

For if one cried

No one could hear

For they all are now statues

Waiting for the end

 

Evil has come

It will never leave

Taking all souls

Good, evil, misunderstood

 

No one is left

The world sits alone

The day will never come

We’re all stuck in the cold

@ all rights reserved by Ashley.M.E.

Reviews

[alesuriko]

The flow could use a little work but I really liked the content of this poem. Dark, desperate, solemn, very nice. Good commentary with the "This place we once loved / This place was once our home / Is now just cold dust". I liked that part. Well done.

[Shade Teller]

I really loved this poem and the way that you describe dark and evil. I guess there are days that we all feel that "the day will never come." You really have a gift for writing. Keep up the good work.

[Kevin]

Like other comments enjoyed this poem, and the flow was good.

[Hi]

Like I said before with the previous poem, your poems are nicely constructed with deep emotions!!

[Matthew Ian Herrawood W]

this is good really liked it. the flow of it comes easily but i couldent help but read it faster as i went through the stanzas. the line good, evil, misunderstood really stands out to me is this refering to the saying "somtimes we must do evil to achive a greater good"? (I WOULD JUST LIKE TO MAKE IT CLEAR I DONT AGGREE WITH THAT SAYING!). this was a great poem but the 'are home' insted of 'our home' really breaks the flow a little.

[Jason Ellis]

The only issues I see:
First stanza, you said "it's shade," where there should be no apostrophe.
It's is a contraction, obviously, meaning 'it is'
Its shows ownership, or possession.
Also, as Kanattas pointed out, you said "are home," as opposed to "our home."

Other than those two minor flaws, this is a brilliantly written piece. By far, my favorite of yours. However, I do like your other poems, as well (:

[Crowley]

This may be my favorite of your so far, the cadence was very good and the rhyming did not interrupt the flow one bit. Very good, dark images, I could feel the despair. Nice job.

[Bridget Mcmaken]

This is a good poem. You really know how to write and your good at it too!!! hey keep up the good work, your doing great girl!

[MiidniightSoul]

This is a very beautiful and brilliant poem. ^__^

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

this was nice. i loved the whole concept of it. nice and negative. =) the only problem i could find was that you said "are home" instead of "our home" in the thrid stanza. but other than that, fabulous job

[X]

the rhyming in the first two stanzas is great. i like the doomy feeling, very dark, this is a nice peice