One (1)

i don't know until i write more

    She entangled her legs between his, so as to make him trip. “Success.” She thought as he fell. The commodore turned when he heard an oomff! She was upon her prey as swift and light as a puma. Unfortunately, the commodore was just as nimble as she. He pinned her against the wall and held her fast.
    “What, may I ask, do you think you are doing?” He asked.
    “Why Commodore,” she started sounding and with an innocent look on her face, “I have been a good girl. Sitting, waiting and…”And she pushed a knife through her teeth. Unfortunately he knew that trick all too well and grabbed it with his teeth.
    “I’m not falling for that one girl. You’ve played it one too many times. Better think of a new one.”
    “Dang!” she thought “So close.”

***

    As the man was walking past, he looked toward her. She sat there looking up at him. She gave him her big puppy eyes made sure she had a little pout trembling on her lips.
    “Commodore, what’s wrong with the girl?” Asked the man.
    “Hmm?” He asked turning toward her, “Oh she’s just pouting. She gets that way when she doesn’t get what she wants.”
    “Oh…” Replied the man as they continued walking.

***

    “Wake up girl!” The guard shouted as he jabbed her with his foot. She groaned and turned so as to give him her death glare. He scowled at her and said, “Do you think I like doing this job? Get up girl, you and your mates are taking a trip across the sea.”
    She warily got up and followed him out the main doors. She looked around. Walking down the road toward the port she used to go to almost every day. Those were the days when she and her dad went fishing because her mom wanted to cook fish straight from the ocean. Not that she was any good at fishing when she was 10, but at least she tried. “Where are we going?” she asked walking by her best friend everyone called Doc.
    “You are going on a trip with your mates. Not enough room in the jail. Already had to turn criminals away or set them free ‘cause of that.” Replied the guard.
    “That was a no duh.” She thought. “But where exactly are we going? Where are me and my mates going?” She questioned.
    “That is a question to ask the commodore.” he replied coolly. Obviously he knew she thought that his answer was a no duh. (somehow)
“I’m sorry that I hurt your integrity by being so specific.” And with doc right behind her, sniggering like they did when they were younger, the two walked on the boat. She felt how the ship swayed under her and the feeling of fishing with her dad washed over her again. She had a feeling that it was a good thing she and doc had been on a boat before. And to go fishing no less. Therefore, she always got up at sunrise. The commodore’s voice giving instructions brought her back to the bleak present.
    “Be sure not to let her out of the brig. She’s dangerous. And don’t be surprised if she talks. I know she can talk.” and at that, everyone laughed. Except her and doc of course. She spun around and glared at the commodore.
    “Of course I can talk.” She replied loudly. “Why does everyone think I can’t talk? I’m not stupid. Is it ‘cause I’m female? Or is it ‘cause I’m a CRIMINAL?” She asked with so much malice in her voice the everyone, including the commodore, cringed. And with that slight satisfaction, she stormed off to the holding deck.

***

Author's Note

this is only the beginning of chapter one. if you want more ask me and i'll add more... if i have it.

Reviews

[mamachansensei]

great begining. can't wait to find out more.

[Poodle18]

Good job Jenn. She certainly is a very animated character, isn't she? Your descriptive writing has also gotten better.

[TheKaylaPup]

this isn't fair, you can't leave me hanging like this. You are turning into Marina!

[halflives]

Nice. I really liked it. I'd like to know more backstory on the characters, so by all means, continue! And you can make this a chapter in an overall book, if you wish.