Ooh, I got chills with that ending line. A wonderful characterization of time. I like how you started out with three line stanzas, went to two-line stanzas, adn ended with one line, in a kind of progression, the way time progressed, leaving the speaker of the poem behind. This underscored the tone, that feeling of wanting more time, but having it slip away, just like the number of lines in the stanzas dwindled away. Possibly my favorite that you have written. Well done.
The last line brings you back to the same thought, a pinwheel of frustration and awe... and yet, time is passing with each revolution. One must be wary of such a dangerously reality in physical form
Nice work with the way time pases us by and how it all end is unpredictable with happiness or gloominess and the ending is something to think on with "One thing is still moving.." So great job.=D
Ooh, I got chills with that ending line. A wonderful characterization of time. I like how you started out with three line stanzas, went to two-line stanzas, adn ended with one line, in a kind of progression, the way time progressed, leaving the speaker of the poem behind. This underscored the tone, that feeling of wanting more time, but having it slip away, just like the number of lines in the stanzas dwindled away. Possibly my favorite that you have written. Well done.
hello(Namaste),
You can call me (or ashu),
I LOVE MYSELF...!! :-P I am methodical,practical and a great friend....!!! I never make snap decisions, preferring to weigh the pros and cons of every.. more..