Father?

Produced by literature class...

 

Father, I can’t see you,

You’ve gone to die alone,

Begging for a different life,

I’ll never reap what you’ve sown.

 

Father, why you yelling now?

Cursing under your breath,

Shoving me aside like filth,

Rage beating in your chest.

 

Father, where you going now?

Stepping through the door,

Taking all that’s mine with you,

Leaving with abhor.

 

Father, won’t you listen?

You left me here alone,

Wanting what you used to be,

Father, come back home.

 

Father, do you miss me now?

I watch old pictures fade away,

Grasping tight to every memory,

Every bright and happy day.

 

Father, can you hear me?

No, you’re trapped inside your head,

You’re wishing you hadn’t chosen this life,

You’re wishing you were dead.

 

Father, where have you to turn?

I don’t need you anymore,

I’ve  learned without your presence,

I’ve spread my wings to soar.

 

Father, why you crying?

Remember you left me in the dark,

You abandoned I who loved you,

Now on this lone journey you embark.

 

Father, won’t you forgive yourself?

Please just let me in,

Your eyes are red, bleeding out,

In denial of your sin.

 

Father, don’t you know you’re dying?

You refuse my hand reaching out,

Trapped inside the cynicism,

Of a dark and hanging cloud.

 

Father, don’t let go, you hear?

I see a smile in your eyes,

Remember the day you laughed with me,

Remember when you smiled?

 

Father, how you faring now?

I see you living in a shell,

Though you count the ways you’ve loved,

You know you’re still in hell.

 

Father, I can’t see you,

You’ve gone to die alone,

Begging for a different life,

I’ll never reap what you’ve sown.

Author's Note

Another changed point of view...I know the grammar isn't exactly "correct" but it would interrupt the flow if I made it proper :D

Reviews

[AndyJCash]

I think the incorrect grammar in places, as you said, suits the flow better so no criticism there. It's a good poem, the life of a Father regretting walking out. I know many people who have gone through this sort of thing and you've done a good job of capturing that emotion between lust for the father's return and hatred (maybe a bit strong) at him leaving in the first place. A good write, nice one!

[hannahjchin]

this is really really good, i love how you were able to show the relationship evolving so succinctly

[yashsickle]

My judgement on this is very biased. I understand all this all too well.

[☯]

I really like the flow and theme of this poem. I can read the emotions and hear the voice of an abandoned child. An amazing and heartbreaking poem. A sad but inspiring read. Magnificent :)

[Celestine Night91]

I can relate to the emotion felt in this piece,very good use of words. My favorite part is the last line

"I'll never reap what you've sown"

[Celeste21]

Poignant Aleyah, what prompted this write?

[Jack D.]

Very nice poem. It does flow very well. Very descriptive and well written. :D

[Akoka Folami]

You have a good rhyming vocabulary... it doesn't have any of the cheesy common rhymes, this is yet another successful write :D

[Kenneth The Poet]

Interesting poem. Reminds me of a father figure that is supposed to be in the sky caring about us, watching over us but somehow isn't there.

Great work again

[Cro.Seer]

I loved it! I did a similar change in my poem "Mutiny Thy Name is Beautiful," if you want an idea of how drastic that view change can be..

[Lily Mae]

I think this is like an emotional roller coaster.. hope then it faded.. You have penned these emotions very well.. excellent write..x