All I Can Do Is Bite It

Heavy stuff

That day in your life came when you got the bad news
That we all fear and I understand why you choose
To lay down and die
To not even cry
Finding acceptance in a life you are about to lose.
~ So all I can do is write it ~
And type my belief
And pen my deep fears
And ink my unease
Finding distance from a sorrow I wish I could refuse.

That time in your life has come when we pay our dues
That we owe to our loves who surround us in blues
To allow and try
To let me ask why
Finding reluctance in questions that when asked just confuse.
~ So all I can do is bite it ~
And swallow my grief
And chew on my tears
And taste my memories
Finding a chance to know before a flood of me ensues.

That moment in life comes when the cycle renews
That we hope our people will get the loving cues
To say a goodbye
To let your soul fly
Finding balance in the weight of our need that peace must use.
~ So all I can do is fight it ~
And share my relief
And talk of our years
And write my heart's pleas
Finding eloquence will win when our love and care infuse!

2022

Author's Note

I wish I was writing about a distant memory but I am in the thick of this now. Getting down to days of life left. This is for my friend I've written about in 'Pain' and 'Willows Wept '. I don't think any of us would want anyone watching us die. It's been so hard to balance her need for distance with my need for closeness and to somehow do something for her. A few hours ago I recited this for her and had one of those poetic moments I write for. Normally who I write for is the only person who hears my poetry. But now I have an audience so you all get to share in my misery. Not that it really wants company. I needed to share this.

This is an intricate intimate poem. It's been fun to play around with the different forms but have to go back to my 'style' when things really need to be said. Billigami writes while I cry. There are so many rules and rhymes I hope you read them all. I went ahead and perfected my syllable counts as well. Therapy!

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

A very deep poem about grief and to accept or not accept the reality that it is; they say that after a loved one passes, one is first in denial; then the grief period begins, and can last a lifetime. Sharing grief is a good thing to do. But we must try to move on slowly by accepting death and and sometime later, actually celebrate the life of of that beloved. This is a beautiful write.
Best, B

[William Michael Reeves]

It meant so much to share her poetry with all of you and then share your words with her. I started grieving when she laid down to die more than a year and a half ago. This poem is about that struggle to respect her need for distance and all of her people's need for closeness. I'm awash in the relief of grief and having shared it. Your understanding words are part of my healing. Thank you Betty!

Bill

[Betty Hermelee]

I’m glad to share your relief now and to have shared some poems with your friend. Best, B😊

[Miss Sharon]

A deeply personal and beautifully written piece of prose my friend. (Finding balance in the weight of our need that peace must use.) That say it all....and very well I might add. I am sorry for the pain in your life at the moment. ~Sharon

[William Michael Reeves]

Thank you. You caught me by surprise a bit. The friend I wrote this for is named Sharon. And some called her miss Sharon. If interested I set up a profile for her and was able to share the beautiful words other poets wrote for her just before her death Thursday before last.her name is Sharon Jodock-King. I deeply appreciate your sentiments here. Look out! I'll be reading you soon....

Bill

[Patricia]

I think your authors note is as beautiful and painful as your poem. I won’t say more as to critique this is about respect and condolences my friend, I believe in your beauty and strength.

[William Michael Reeves]

That means a lot to me. Thanks Patricia. You bring up an interesting point. We write something personal. Post it. Then the emotion of it might flavor the reviews. Or scare the reviewer. My poem 'green canny viper snake' is a perfect example. I almost didn't want to get reviews and feared reading them when I did.

[Patricia]

Well even if I were to critique without considering your recent loss I would still look at this with reverence and respect and still say it’s beautiful and painful. I normally try to just look at piece and not the poet, as a friend has often reminded to do but in this case it’s hard not to.

[Gee]

Like this a lot.
My way of dealing with all things death and grief is to reach for the keyboard, as you have probably noticed.
She is lucky to have had you in her life, and most probably you her.
Take care

[William Michael Reeves]

I did notice that and had hoped you would notice this poem. Writing this did help. We did mean a lot to each other. For having such a profound disability she found ways to help me as much I her. Glad you felt that aspect of this poem. It's been interesting how many poems about death have come up since I posted this. I don't even need to ask what you've been writing...I'll come read.

[lightsong]

"Heavy stuff" yes.. sure, very heavy. profound, deeply moving, VERY well written my friend, a masterpiece in my opinion because You masterfully reached into the deepest of human emotions and wrote, express them in the same masterful way.

You know my dear, before reading your note I was aiming to say few things to You, and after reading the note... I made sure I got You right. it's not about death, nor the fear of death, it's about the loss... the missing that will come after, our fear of that, of that pain and longing, yes... never easy to watch a loved one die, but sometimes deep down we also know that death will give them peace, yet our selfish part want to keep them close, never easy to say to them "it's ok to let go" because they already know if they leave, they will cause pain to the ones they love and this even wight more on them. and here, I find You the most beautiful and real human to be, knowing all these tough sides and yet keep the balance, extra applaud for your last verse. nothing... nothing better than igniting the candle of hope even in such an emotionally difficult situation. May peace never leave your heart and her my friend, may Angels keep You under their strong wings of healing, company and love. Bless You so very much dear Bill, Billigrami and William, please NEVER lose that wonderful sense of humor :>

[lightsong]

P.S, please when You want me to read a specific poem just let me know.

[William Michael Reeves]

I just read this. I'm tired. And you just.....I can't find words at the moment. This meant so much to me. Let me digest it and tomorrow. Wow!!!!

[lightsong]

Please rest well and take care of yourself 🤍

[William Michael Reeves]

Whew! All the ends are tied up and came back to read this. This touched me where no one has reached in and touched Gounwah. It's almost like you had been there. Over and over I told her it was ok to go. And named all who loved her and it was all that I had written in the poem and you so eloquently saw and wrote in your review. I might agree with masterpiece and thank you so much for such high praise from a poet of your caliber! I'm almost ready to get back. Hang tight!

[Ada]

Death is never an easy topic but you approach it with a certain freedom from the burden of life and acknowledge the fact that life is indeed a circle. Nice write! I'm glad you had the chance to read it to your friend.

[William Michael Reeves]

I think I was looking for freedom from the burden of hiding my grief for so long. You brought a perspective I hadn't thought about to mind. Freedom that comes with the end of so much weight carried on the shoulders of friendship. Thanks Ada!

[M. J. Smith]

It us never easy to let go. And yet... There is a peace to it. When their journey is done, they can let go of the pain, hang up their pack, and ride home for the last time.
And one day, we too will ride that last road. When that day comes, our loved ones will ride out to guide us. What a reunion that will be!

[Cherrie Palmer]

I like to study formats and there different flows. However I prefer to write in freestyle.
Like you I don't want the format to dictate the poem but my heart and the need the moment has focused in on.

Your poem is heartfelt and allows the reader to sit beside you while sharing the moment.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, need to be said, with no gimmicks, just truth.
Losing those close to us, gradually, is so very hard.
I feel your pain in this one, Bill....
in recent years I have experienced this much too often.
the older we get, the more it happens.
j.