Something is wrong with me.

Bukowski had stole my soul.

                  Something is wrong with me.

Something is wrong with me. I am like a Bukowski  poem gone wrong.

Bukowski told us, do what you love, even if you must be alone, you must go hungry, be homeless and know hard days. Go all the way or just become a mountain that don't move.

I have become the mountain now, never moving, accepting life as-is.

Once I wanted to save my world, write the great novel and live near the sea.

I befallen and I can't find my real face.

I feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin.

Once I drank to feel alive, once I sought war to know I was alive.

Love was never my strength, patience is my enemy and kindness is forgotten.

Bukowski would tell me. "You did a fool's dance for the rich men.

Skinned off your real face and be-face with liar eyes.

Now accepting, just enough.

Remember Johnnie, never trust a man who doesn't drink.

Drink the strong whiskey till you can see,

then, your sleepy eyes can be awaken by the taste of the whiskey.

You will see, you are swimming in s**t."

Something is wrong with me. I have become the Hemingway's ghost.

I need the tropical sea, quiet places and polite woman.

I have none of these.

I need to follow Hemingway's advice. Finish one project and work on one thing only.

End at good open statement so you can find the flow of thoughts again. I need to bleed

to paper.

I met Bukowski once in California in the early nineties in a Tavern. I had a lot of cash and I bought the 

whiskey and we drank. He liked me and he told me. Write hard words, honest words. Make

the people feel your suffering. I didn't know who he was that day. His last words were very cool. He told me,

"you write like s**t, but suffer some more and you will write better."

Maybe I am where I suppose to be? 

Maybe I wasn't brave enough?

Maybe I didn't drink enough?

Dancing Coyote

Reviews

[JE Falcon]

Dancing Coyote, it is always the Bukowski's that get the free drinks and the fame for writing lies and spelling truth. Or is that selling truth? --- When it comes to being a famed poet, it is 50% fate, 20% being in the right place at the right time, and 30% good relatable writing. With me, I've never been where I should have been at the right time, so fate was somewhere else when I sat down at the bar (make that Bars). I'm still working on the 30% after ample suffering, and I gave up the drinks because they were never free. --- So, take heart and be you. Like every great pioneering poet, we have to die before we can find greatness. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right my friend. In life. Bukowski lived okay. He didn't complain. His books sell better today then in the past. Today my life is okay. I have good health and five grandchildren. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[darkness*star1985]

this spoke to me on many levels. " I feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin."
"Skinned off your real face and be-face with liar eyes." these two lines wrapped around me i feel there truth... Great writing

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. When old age cometh, we taste the memories. We wished we danced the different dance. I appreciate the comment.

[Diana]

Wow. Especially these lines: "I befallen and I can't find my real face.

I feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin."- I have been feeling like this of late. Thank you for putting pen to paper.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Diana. We must try not to become stone. We could stay stone forever.

[John the Baptist]

A rather harsh self evaluation here. Not living up to youthful ideals seems to be the woe of many, but maybe it's guidance as much as seemingly not cutting the mustard. We unknowingly accept the world's adjuration that we must achieve certain things in order to be "OK." Maybe what we really are is "OK" and the world a passing sideshow that would kick us to the curb when it feels we haven't done much for it lately.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I am okay. Just was reading some Bukowski and caught his mind set. I am okay with being the grandpa. I can show the grandchildren the big wide world. We will overcome these virus days and I hope we are kinder to each other.

[barleygirl]

I keep saying this lately, but this is one of your best. This is many times beyond what you've written most of the 6 years I've been at the cafe. This is a killer story, believable, authentic, well-told . . . makes a person want to BE you, live the life you dream . . . makes a person want to write like your friend "B" (a poet I have no knowledge of). This is very inspiring for us fellow writers! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Margie. We have lived a long life. We have seen many things. I believe you and I are wiser. We enjoy the simple things. One day. I will return to Big Sur. We will have the greatest talk.

[T.S. Ulmus]

I don't know bukowski but it sounds like he walked the same footsteps as Kerouac and Ginsburg. These words can only come from a man that walked that path as well. Epic and stirring, you drew me in and took me for a ride. Sometimes I get caught up thinking a poem should be about a thing when the true aim of all artwork is to convey emotion. Here you've managed to pass on to the reader a very complicated and nuanced feeling. Only the greats can do that.

[Coyote Poetry]

Bukowski was the only Bukowski. Go to YouTube. He didn't try to impress no-one. Closest writer, Maybe Kerouac. He was a wild man too. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[Wild Rose]

Ah well I have managed one thing > We live near the sea
It isn't at all what we expected > At least we have mountains nearby

N we were now brave enough to go hungry OR to go homeless
I am quite sure I did drink enough at one time > It just made me fall over
Went on to Glen Fiddich it had more effect than the beer

[Coyote Poetry]

Glen Fiddich could do you in my friend and thank you for reading and the comment. I have lake St. Clair near.

[Kay/Hayden]

This poem touches my heart because I can relate to it so well.. Your poems never disappoint. Thank you for always brightening my day with your words. c:

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Kay/Hayden for reading and the kind words. I do appreciate.

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest John... you can be high on emotion... it is God-given... a Gift to discover... perhaps a little Wine now and then... It is 💕 lovely to read your tender confessions; however be blessed in every way along the way. gently, Pat

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Pat. I am semi-retired now. Time to think. Maybe too much. I must finish six stories in December. I need to self-publish. I hope you are doing well and being safe.

[Patricia Wedel]

Hi John... we have seen two very special romantic new movies on TV recently— one called Broken Horse (family oriented) and the other purely romantic but in good taste.
It seems much of our World wants to return to the gentle beautiful romance, and that is a Good Omen. Good luck with your self-publishing... you have a special Talent. Merriest of Christmas blessings. tenderly, Pat

[Vertigo Cat1111]

A truly brave and beautiful poem. Every line is reeled with such deepness and wideness', crafted into each word and turning them into a wonderful piece of art

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my kind friend. I hope you are doing well and staying safe.

[alanwgraham]

This is great Coyote. I have just recently been listening to Bukowski being read. They are very profound and hard hitting poems. As you have said life can be very tough. Poetry must come from life experience.
Thanks for sharing your poetry.
Take care.
Regards, Alan

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Alan. Bukowski was a cool man. He loved to drank and to talk. Did not like fake people.