Level 1.1

Jim gets to packing, trying to prepare for the harsh road ahead.

Moving from the window, Jim bent down and grabbed his messenger bag and immediately overturned it, letting its content spill freely onto the floor. Bending down, he grabbed a few pens and jammed them in one of the smaller pockets of the bag. After a moments hesitation, he grabbed one of the empty notebooks as well and slammed it back into his bag. Throwing it on his bed, he moved to the rear of his room.

Throwing open the closet doors, he pulled out a container. Opening it, he began to throw packages on top of his bed. Packages of beef jerky, small snack cakes, pretzels, flash dried food... Finally, having the diet of a college student came in handy.

After he finished going through his food, he moved back to his bed and slid on the floor. Reaching under the bed, he pulled out a few bottles of water and threw them on top of it. After throwing up as many as he thought he could reasonably carry, he rose from beneath the bed, a packet of purification tablets in hand. He grinned as he threw them onto his bed as well. That outdoors course might pay off finally.

Throwing the supplies in his bag, he snapped his fingers. Moving back to his closet, he grabbed a pair of jeans, boxers, and another t-shirt. He might need another pair of clothes if the s**t hit the fan. He stopped at his desk and pulled out a small butterfly knife as well. Hey, he wasn’t supposed to have it on campus, but what the hell? It was more fun than a regular pocket knife. 

Finally, he reached into his closet one last time and extracted a crowbar. Hefting it for a moment, he threw it on his bed as well. It would come in handy if he came upon anything that was blocked or needed pried open. Plus, it should make a good melee weapon if needed. 

Grabbing his phone and pulling the charger out of the wall, he threw it in his bag with his clothes, just in case. Snapping the bag shut, he used the bags extra straps to attach the crowbar to it. Putting the bag on, he reached back and yanked on the crowbar. It came out easily enough. Grinning, he slid it back into the straps. He jumped once or twice and felt almost no movement. It should stay in place.

He was about to leave his dorm when he looked back to his bulletin board. Hastily, he pulled the thumbtack out of the picture. Pushing the tack back into his board, he slid the picture into his pocket. He grinned slightly as he ran for the door.

Throwing it open, he let it bounce off the wall. It would close itself from the force. he didn’t need to lock it. Not now. He ran to the door that would take him outside the dorm at full sprint, ready to kick the usually propped open door.

Slamming into the door, Jim burst into the sunlight. He closed his eyes, still at full sprint. He hit a body almost immediately which caused his eyes to widen. His momentum drove them both toward the railing of the third story dorm. Jim shouted something like a swear as they neared it. The man he had collided with moaned. And then tried to claw at him.

Instead of stopping, Jim continued running and slammed the man into the railing. Jim saw that the man’s expression never changed, even as he careened over the railing and onto the ground far below. 

Looking over the railing, Jim saw the man’s shirt had been stained red. Whether it was the man’s blood or his victims, he didn’t know. Nor did he think about it. Whatever was infecting the rest of the United States had made it to his college. He intended not to be a part of it. 

Author's Note

All criticism is welcome. Just make it somewhat constructive. I'm still developing, trying to get back into the swing of things.

Reviews

[ThePoetKing]

Exciting first chapter but be careful of listing actions. It's concise but if you want to commit to that style then i would cut out more of your active verb scentences. Keep it more brief or expand. I found this to be an awkward middle ground.

[ghostlyhearts]

A very interesting first chapter.

[Cambion]

My constructive criticism is that you begin too many sentences with 'ing' words. Work some variety into your sentences and your paragraphs will flow more easily.

[Lena Rossmore]

Clear. Concise. Spectacularly written. Well done.

[Val W. Caine]

Zombie goes kersplat! I like it. >3
I like the chapter. It's straight to the point. And it's a good guide for anyone who wants to prep for a zombie apocalypse. 'Things to bring in the zombie apocalypse.'
Great job!