I'm overly happy, Never-mind.

I'm angry.

I hate myself, I hate everyone around me.

I envy people, I am so f*****g jealous it makes me sick of myself.

I see a little girl holding her father's hand walking down the street, 

suddenly I hate that little girl, I hate the little girl i've never met before

a little girl that has never done anything to me, but most of all I

envy her.

My father doesn't like me anymore, he can't stand me.

He hates me more than anything in this world.

He didn't want me.

My mum doesn't want me either, but they had to take me in or I would have gone into foster care.

It pisses me off when people constantly tell me "They aren't your real parents." 

So? F**k you.

I'm thinking about it more and more, should I stop calling them Mum and Dad?

I've ruined my fathers life.

I remember being 5 and sitting up at night with my dad listening to music, him walking me to school,

making me pancakes in the morning.

Now he sleeps in, doesn't speak to me or my mother.

What did I do? I can't seem to remember doing anything wrong.

I just remember him becoming more and more distant.

I am angry and my mum and I blame her even though I know I shouldn't, Is it her fault

I've learned to yell at him the way she does?

I don't talk to either of them, we live in the same house, put on a "happy family" act whenever we go out or have 

company but other than that, they have no idea whats going on for me, I have no idea

whats going on for them.

I'm sick of the yelling and the hatred, I'm sick of myself, I'm tired of existing.

I can't stand happiness because I know it will end.

"Happiness wouldn't be happiness without sadness to balance it."

I don't like who I am, I don't fit in, I can't keep friends, people get tired of me.

I alway feel different and on the outside.

I hate people my age, this whole generation is going to remember what? memes? 

Memes are pointless, they aren't even funny anymore.

I have so much hate towards everyone and everything but the person I hate most

is myself, purely because I hate.

Author's Note

I hate myself :)

I'm what people enjoy calling "Edgy special snowflake."