Hate

Hate

A Poem by Evelynn

The words spin around the room
Words that I know you've said
Never to me, only to my friends
Words on how you wish I was dead
I can't even be upset at you
After all, I know I caused it
All this hate and rage you feel
Is fueled by a spark I lit
I wish I could hate right back
But how could I when you matter so much to me
When I care for you more than I ever knew
Because after all this time, I finally see
That you mean the most to me

© 2018 Evelynn


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Featured Review

This has such potential to be a fantastic poem! The concept is strong and emotional, and I think you have included the perfect amount of detail that isn’t over explanatory, yet still gets the ideas across.

One of the areas that I think could use improvement is your word choice. Throughout the poem you could exchange some of your wording, so you are not using so many words like “even” and “all”, that don’t hold a whole lot of meaning. I understand how these words feel important because they add emotion, but I would suggest trying out different ways to add emotion to each line.

I honestly do think this poem is a gem that could be really something amazing and I think this is a fantastic start. The feelings are starting to come through and the concept is depicted well.

“I wish I could hate right back” Is my favorite line!

I enjoyed exploring this concept and I hope you continue to edit and mold it to perfection!


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You really know how to reach your readers. It is simple yet brutally honest and almost painful. This is what makes a poem.

Posted 1 Year Ago


This poem is honest and beautiful and plainly magnificent. I adored the line "this hate and rage you feel is fueled by a spark I lit". It's so simply said yet, I can imagine the pain and flame growing as time passes. I find that your poem encourages the saying, "you don't know how much you love someone until you lose them". Well done!

Posted 1 Year Ago


I don't know dear Evelynn. Hate and love. Are far apart. Love is forgiveness and kindness. Your words hard, direct and sad. Naysayers can twist, a story backward. Good people will accept the blame, even if not at fault. Powerful words and thoughts shared dear friend. You made me think.
Coyote


Posted 1 Year Ago


As another reviewer mentioned, sometimes "plain" language packs the biggest emotional punch, and that's true with your work, for sure. I am always more impressed by the way a piece of work makes me feel than if the structure is perfect, if there's a lot of flowery language, etc. I tend to write in a similar way, I think. Well done, as usual! And if these are all your own emotions in your poems....know that you aren't alone in your complex feelings. I'm a mess of emotions most days :P

Posted 1 Year Ago


Evelynn

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me!!
AriesGirl

1 Year Ago

You're so welcome!
I really like this moment, as the saying goes " the opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference"
Which is to say, you need to care enough about something to actively dislike it. I think you really captured that here, and I especially love that the narrator seems to be perplexed by these very relatable emotions.

Posted 1 Year Ago


my good old friend mr Hate, I can't ever figure out where he comes from or why he visits me so often. I say friend but in truth i never really liked him that much but I think that is the case for most people, so i feel bad for him and allow him to come to the party! Never works out well but there he is, I try to introduce him to acceptance and amiability but he just hangs out with denial in the corner of the room spilling wine all over my couch! This is nice prose but i have a distinct feeling you have more to say in this

Posted 1 Year Ago


Lines of sad regret. Nicely conveyed Evelyn and your sincerity certainly comes through. All good wishes

Chris

Posted 1 Year Ago


Evelynn

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much!
Wow! so sad to see but to finally see. Never to late to forgive and bring back the love. Nicely expressed.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Evelynn

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much!
Hey the mean behind this is very deep are you okay do you want to talk? Other than that it sounds great I mean it okay.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Evelynn

1 Year Ago

I'm fine thank you
I am visiting for the first time ..usually i read a persons oldest posted work...but such a simply stated title hooked me "Hate" what a powerful destructive emotion! I think you give enough framework for readers to hang their own details on .. plain language and straight forward statements, for me, build tension and emotion as i relate it to my own life ... i like it! you have a lot of fine critiques below to change things if you want to ... we can all , always improve our writings ... i like it as is ... had no thought to change this or that ... the bare bones is plenty to draw me in emotionally and intellectually
E.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Evelynn

1 Year Ago

Thank you!!

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Added on November 21, 2018
Last Updated on December 7, 2018

Author

Evelynn
Evelynn

Roanoke, VA



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