Hate

Hate

A Poem by Evelynn

The words spin around the room
Words that I know you've said
Never to me, only to my friends
Words on how you wish I was dead
I can't even be upset at you
After all, I know I caused it
All this hate and rage you feel
Is fueled by a spark I lit
I wish I could hate right back
But how could I when you matter so much to me
When I care for you more than I ever knew
Because after all this time, I finally see
That you mean the most to me

© 2018 Evelynn


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Featured Review

This has such potential to be a fantastic poem! The concept is strong and emotional, and I think you have included the perfect amount of detail that isn’t over explanatory, yet still gets the ideas across.

One of the areas that I think could use improvement is your word choice. Throughout the poem you could exchange some of your wording, so you are not using so many words like “even” and “all”, that don’t hold a whole lot of meaning. I understand how these words feel important because they add emotion, but I would suggest trying out different ways to add emotion to each line.

I honestly do think this poem is a gem that could be really something amazing and I think this is a fantastic start. The feelings are starting to come through and the concept is depicted well.

“I wish I could hate right back” Is my favorite line!

I enjoyed exploring this concept and I hope you continue to edit and mold it to perfection!


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

It is hard when you have wronged someone and hurt them deeply only to realize they mattered on a deep level.

I know this cause I once caused such pain but luckily mine forgave me after many years of silence. The void was crushing but I am blessed because he found a way to let go of the hurt I caused. We continue to be friends but it has taken a lot of work and open honesty between us

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Great writing. Don’t stop writing

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


sometimes the simplest language is most expressive, real, full of truth.
j.

Posted 7 Months Ago


You really know how to reach your readers. It is simple yet brutally honest and almost painful. This is what makes a poem.

Posted 2 Years Ago


This poem is honest and beautiful and plainly magnificent. I adored the line "this hate and rage you feel is fueled by a spark I lit". It's so simply said yet, I can imagine the pain and flame growing as time passes. I find that your poem encourages the saying, "you don't know how much you love someone until you lose them". Well done!

Posted 2 Years Ago


I don't know dear Evelynn. Hate and love. Are far apart. Love is forgiveness and kindness. Your words hard, direct and sad. Naysayers can twist, a story backward. Good people will accept the blame, even if not at fault. Powerful words and thoughts shared dear friend. You made me think.
Coyote


Posted 2 Years Ago


As another reviewer mentioned, sometimes "plain" language packs the biggest emotional punch, and that's true with your work, for sure. I am always more impressed by the way a piece of work makes me feel than if the structure is perfect, if there's a lot of flowery language, etc. I tend to write in a similar way, I think. Well done, as usual! And if these are all your own emotions in your poems....know that you aren't alone in your complex feelings. I'm a mess of emotions most days :P

Posted 2 Years Ago


Evelynn

2 Years Ago

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me!!
AriesGirl

2 Years Ago

You're so welcome!
I really like this moment, as the saying goes " the opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference"
Which is to say, you need to care enough about something to actively dislike it. I think you really captured that here, and I especially love that the narrator seems to be perplexed by these very relatable emotions.

Posted 2 Years Ago


my good old friend mr Hate, I can't ever figure out where he comes from or why he visits me so often. I say friend but in truth i never really liked him that much but I think that is the case for most people, so i feel bad for him and allow him to come to the party! Never works out well but there he is, I try to introduce him to acceptance and amiability but he just hangs out with denial in the corner of the room spilling wine all over my couch! This is nice prose but i have a distinct feeling you have more to say in this

Posted 2 Years Ago


Lines of sad regret. Nicely conveyed Evelyn and your sincerity certainly comes through. All good wishes

Chris

Posted 2 Years Ago


Evelynn

2 Years Ago

Thank you so much!

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22 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 21, 2018
Last Updated on December 7, 2018

Author

Evelynn
Evelynn

Roanoke, VA



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