Thoughts. June 8, 2010.

True Story.

The salesman

was matching his footsteps to dozens of strangers around him.

He was good at a step matching.

He had learned it from rain tapping.

Recreating the sound with his fingertips,

running at the moments he could not hold on to anymore.

Heel catching,

he stops in the middle of the steady mall stampede.

Potential customer.

Potential customer.

He sees everyone’s eyes.

Possible commission.

Split second spenders.

He relies on the pockets of strangers.

He started step matching me.

I could see it.

I know the look.

He tapped forward and said,

“Hey!-”

“Nope.”

Quick answer.

I’m good at that.

Author's Note

This was in my blog, but I figured, what the hell, I'll post it here. I haven't posted anything in a while. As always, hope you enjoy.
Note: the format looks ok on Chrome and Firefox, but on Internet Explorer it's kinda off.

Reviews

[Annette Jay Sweeney]

The format for this works just right! I think the "Hey..." may seem a little more realistic with maybe an enthusiactic, "Hey!-" and he gets cut off, but maybe I'm picturing a different salesman. Most all of us have experienced this moment, so the poem is both easy to relate to and enjoyable. Good job :).

[Coyote Poetry]

You are correct. A good salesman can see you across the room. I like the flow and the story in the poem. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Undying Glory]

interesting write, you've picked a neat topic here to write about. it's really annoying when some salespeople view everyone else as suckers willing to agree to bad deals. i don't have anything against salespeople though. great write man

[StacyPerry]

I felt like I was outside a concert with me and my band trying to sell our tickets on that one. Basically you brought a very realistic writing to me and told me how it is. lol, thank you hun

[Lilly]

I really dont like sales-people. I know their just doing their job but still...they can get to me... Great write - I enjoyed reading this.

[Mark]

I like it, I can relate.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I saw the salesman as a hunter at first and it seemed pretty serious until I read the word "nope". lol. At that point it started to look like dark comedy. I enjoyed it. It was short. but progressed at it's own pace and didnt feel like I was being rushed at all.

[Jade (insanity)]

Great job :]
Loved it,
Jade

[Ruth]

lol
This is really cool hon!
Wish I could have that quick burst of "nope" in that predicament lmao
Awesome!
xx

[zombiikillah666]

really really good.
loved it. xD

[Mr. Revan]

lol. epic win!