Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in corners of our wrinkled sheets

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea - 

It leaves me dripping remorse.

It seems, death's formidable grip can trump a full hand 

of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence

held me in perspective as one

too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders. 

The scent of your demise to me seemed innocuous -

fleeting, and unable to bloom;

But, flowers - I've discovered - are fragile things 

that in a short period of time

will die from the slightest chill.

And I...unbelievably -

immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner -

unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs -

never noticed at all -

your petals -

falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

This is a beautiful poem Mr Relic. It's like really sad with time. I really like the Ghost hides in the corner of the wrinkled sheets line. That's really beautiful.

[Relic]

Thank you very much Ricochet.

[Anya Myth]

Okay, this nearly made me cry. Just thinking how it can be makes us all want to change it so we don't have to go through life feeling that. And not only is this a good message to men, but nowadays to women as well.
It was hart wrenching, or rather it could be...
It was painfully beautiful. Keep at it. :')

[Relic]

Thank you Anya, I'm glad you liked it.

[char]

Beautiful. "Your petals falling one by one." That's a pretty line. This poem reminds you to love while you can. Time stops for no one.

[Relic]

You're right Anna it doesn't. Thank you very much.

[Relic]

I'm going to put you on my next list of people to review, is there anything you'd like me to read?

[char]

Read whatever you wish. Free will is a gift. Take advantage of that.

[Relic]

Okay, you got it Anna, I will.

[Emily B]

oh, wow . . . maybe i didn't leave a review the first and second time i came by, but today i had to let you know how perfect and beautiful these words are

[Relic]

Thank you for the kind words Emily.

[Debbie_Philly]

WOW.... What a hauntingly beautiful piece and your understanding of ignoring our soul mates and the tragedy of it all... Amazing !!

[Relic]

Thank you Debbie.

[Debbie_Philly]

Your very welcome !! :)

[Relic]

:)

[The Analog Kid]

This is very poignant. It really spoke to me right now. I know this well.

[Pax]

regrets will always be the last, and always will be... but the things is if everyone just learned how to manage it making it into as a learning to make up those past mistakes to make a better one then you'll be a better person than the last time... This poem is really sad and the imagery is truly great. Beautiful words my friend.

[Relic]

Thank you Pax.

[Yellow Butterfly]

Wow.... a powerful write filled with deep sorrow and regret....

Hold onto the next flower.... water her and watch her love blossom and fill your heart...

Bravo for this profound write... :o)

[Relic]

Thank you so much.

[grayday104]

Tells a good story with great imagery good work

[Relic]

Thank you.

[Art]

nice work...your poem touches upon the reality of so many who have fallen in love and then failed to love, a sad view of some lives...

[Relic]

Thank you Art.