Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in the corners of our wrinkled sheets,

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea;
it leaves me dripping remorse.
It appears death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders.

The scent of your demise, to me, seemed innocuous
fleeting and unable to bloom.

But flowers, I've discovered, are fragile things
that, in a short period of time,
will die from the slightest chill.

And I" unbelievably"
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs
never noticed at all
your petals
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[Emily B]

oh, wow . . . maybe i didn't leave a review the first and second time i came by, but today i had to let you know how perfect and beautiful these words are

[Relic]

Thank you for the kind words Emily.

[Debbie_Philly]

WOW.... What a hauntingly beautiful piece and your understanding of ignoring our soul mates and the tragedy of it all... Amazing !!

[Relic]

Thank you Debbie.

[Debbie_Philly]

Your very welcome !! :)

[Relic]

:)

[The Analog Kid]

This is very poignant. It really spoke to me right now. I know this well.

[Pax]

regrets will always be the last, and always will be... but the things is if everyone just learned how to manage it making it into as a learning to make up those past mistakes to make a better one then you'll be a better person than the last time... This poem is really sad and the imagery is truly great. Beautiful words my friend.

[Relic]

Thank you Pax.

[Yellow Butterfly]

Wow.... a powerful write filled with deep sorrow and regret....

Hold onto the next flower.... water her and watch her love blossom and fill your heart...

Bravo for this profound write... :o)

[Relic]

Thank you so much.

[grayday104]

Tells a good story with great imagery good work

[Relic]

Thank you.

[Art Sun]

nice work...your poem touches upon the reality of so many who have fallen in love and then failed to love, a sad view of some lives...

[Relic]

Thank you Art.

[Jocelyn_wonders]

All I can say is that I really like this poem. Your images are superb.
Jocelyn wonders.

[Relic]

Thanks Jocelyn.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Wow, just wow. Very powerful and expressive. Your way of describing such emotion is amazing. This is an amazing piece.

[Relic]

Thank you Whitney.

[Nick.B]

Very emotional, heart breaking piece...after reading this poem it made me speechless....love your expression, great work

[Relic]

I appreciate your thoughts Nick, thank you.