Life without you

Days pass too slow,
Nights too fast
Neither stars appear to shine
Nor the moon does glow...

Sky doesn't seem blue,
Flowers seem colourless
What's wrong with me
I don't even get a clue...

Today I am scared of rain,
Even though I used to love it
It brought smiles and joy before
But now it only gives pain...

Wind blows through my face,
And I close my eyes
It feels like your delightful presence
Full of enchanting grace...

Sunrise becomes the end,
Of memories and dreams
Sunset as the start
Of the enlighten trend...

Today the world doesn't appear true,
And I am lost somewhere
No words can ever describe
How colourless I am without you...

Author's Note

Did you notice the first and the last lines of every stanza???
Yes!!! they rhyme...

Reviews

[Ashish]

Before reading your note, I had noticed that. That is something which I Personally like in a poem.
Again the feeling of missing someone badly...
Keep writing :)

[Anindita Janhabee]

I surely will.....
thank u lotssssss

[Lorry]

Your last line sums it up perfectly Ani, we lose our colour, spark, reason to smile, when all those thoughts we used to have are now mere echoes, with no one at the other end to hear and feel them.

[Anindita Janhabee]

The other end is empty when you've been sending innumerable messages and you get no reply ... Suddenly someone else appears to say you that the person whom you've been messaging is now lost...
This is the feeling I wanted to depict......
thanks a lot for your time reading and your beautiful words....

[Adam Adams]

the meaning as well as the persistence of "life without someone" you have nicely dripped down in words. rhythmically good reading.

[Anindita Janhabee]

Thanks a lot!!!! 😃

[horizon]

I can feel each feeling...loss of a person cannot be recovered...a very deep portray a

[Anindita Janhabee]

yes... it really hurts....
i wish no one suffers this any more....
thanks for the review...

[horizon]

Our wish cannot help the sufferings...and my pleasure

[Anindita Janhabee]

i again wish the same... even when I know it will never be fulfilled... yaar... why is this world the way it is ???

[horizon]

This is coz by this well become stronger than what we r today...believe me I am being very strong

[Anindita Janhabee]

i hope I become that ..... soon.... but something pulls from behind making me fall everytime...

[horizon]

thats the step...going ahead

[Jibey]

A bit like the lyrics of a romantic song, this swings along nicely and charms with its pleasing dreams. The rhyming idea is good but makes you force the words from time to time: for example the 'does' in line 4 to try to get the rhythm right, or 'I don't even get a clue' in line 8, which brings us down to colloquial language after the poetic sentiment of 'flowers see colourless'. 'Of the enlighten trend' is another example, with 'trend' there more for the rhyme than the sense.

But there is a lot of charm and appeal here - the notion that everything has come to standstill (v.1), striking idea of now being afraid of the rain (v.2), the idea of sunrise bring memories and dreams to an end (v.5) and of the world no longer seeming solid and reliable (v.6).

So, a pleasure to read, but with a few gripes from this fussy reviewer!

[Anindita Janhabee]

I am glad for your honest and firm review dear writer... Thank you so much...... !!!!

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Beautifully crafted with the words and emotions. Seriously life is he'll without love.

[Anindita Janhabee]

Thank u once again... thanks a lot.
yes, u do know better about it..

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Surely I do...most welcome :)

[D]

Sometimes, after some devastation, we rebuild our world around a special person... And when he's gone... Well time to build it all again. The colors seem to fade... Or is it just being used to everything, taking everything as granted? ... Awesome write.

[Anindita Janhabee]

oh dear... thank you so much for the kind and honest words, I appreciate a lot....

[D]

Always a pleasure. :)

[hi]

ok you got more talent then most wiriters, have you ever written a long story?
you seem to know how to make a reader see what you write a rare thing indeed,

but i will sayone thing about this poem that i didn't like and that i think you tried to hard to make the reader see color when it should be grey if you know what i mean