The Wings On Our Backs

A few days ago, I discovered what it is like to truly work for one's home. I had to wash, pick up, and clean the home which I was staying in. It was a such a different and submersible experience that is hard for me to forget. I had to take care of these walls I was staying in as payment for letting it take care of me. It was a mutual relationship, I take care of the shelter and it takes care of me.

One's home is one's castle that serves to protect the person that dwells within its compounds. It is sanctuary, a palace, a safehaven of sorts that makes one feel truly safe. But is it just the walls that make one feel safe? Is it the roof that stops rain from pouring on us? Or is it the people inside the home that make us feel truly safe? The people that one may call family or friends that make one feel doubtlessly safe when they are around are what provides people with a sense of security. Needless to say the home itself is the castle that protects one against onslaught but it is the people inside the castle that will defend the home to the end. That is what it means to feel safe within one's home. However, I ask myself was I ever safe in my home? Could I feel safe when my family that were supposed to protect me were the very thing I feared the most? The walls around me were castle walls indeed, but walls that kept me trapped inside with no hope of was I but a bird within a cage? A princess in a tower? No, I was just a small girl within her home. A small fifteen year old girl who felt a kind of security that came from knowing I had money and people feared that money and the power that came with it. Now I ask is all that safety worth it if someone else feels unsafe because of it? Why is it when people tried to find any way or means to find safety, there is always the risk of someone else losing theirs?

I was sitting alone in the shelter's courtyard leaning up against the big tree as I stared up at the sky. I had a small pink Hello Kitty pocket sized sketch book with me that I used to make random doodles in. Ms. Winchester, my old gardener, had bought it for me when I drew a picture of her flowers for her. It was really sweet of her to do and I have had this for about a year or so now. It was something to doodle in when I had nothing else to do or did not feel like doing any intricate artwork.

I was waiting around for Miss Laurelie or someone to come along to tell me what I had to do for today. I was wondering what it is I was going to do today along with other things such as the matter of Vivian. For one thing me and Robbie had teamed up to try and tear down those walls Vivian has put around herself. She has locked away her own heart to others for some reason that I am curious to know why? I may not entirely like her because of her bad attitude, roughness, and let me be honest and say her COMPLETE LACK OF MANNERS. The girl acts nothing close to ladylike unless she is in the kitchen! I can't believe I just made a sexist comment against my own gender.

But, it is true she does act like the girl I know she is when she is cooking. She shines in the kitchen so brightly and she genuinely seems to enjoys doing it. She doesn't exactly smile when anyone is around especially me but she doesn't frown either. She feels like such a normal girl to me when she's cooking meals for so many people. I feel it is actually quite possible that Vivian can be nice and open up to people if she gave it a shot. When I actually think back to her actions I notice she is not actively trying to be mean to anyone or be a bother at all to people and that's something I can relate too. It is what makes me want to understand her more because I saw that part in her that is also a part of me. She may act harsh to people but that's only when they approach her which may not be an excuse of her justify her behavior in any way but I can sense there is simply more to her. There are windows to her heart that I can see through and I feel that deep down she wants people to peer into her heart. Why? Because I am the same way, I am just like Vivian and honestly I think I a lot of people can relate.

She is only trying to protect herself is what it looks like to me. She is scared deep down and wants to keep people away from her. I felt just like that when people were around me but instead of treating them coldly I just simply ran away and tried to avoid them when they were not already trying to avoid me. Some people who had stature in society and money to throw around tried to approach. Not everyone was afraid of my Sinclair name. But I was as afraid of my name just as much as some of them were. So I had to run away, run as fast I could either away from them or deep inside myself to avoid getting hurt. Yes, I did it to protect myself from the pain of being hurt. A pain that runs so deep when one faces it head on that it shakes their structure from the core with an earthquake that makes everything come down. No one wants to accept the pain that comes from hurting another, of being hurt, of feeling sadness, despair, or any form of misfortune that chips away at one's heart. Nobody wants to hurt anyone else, but more than that nobody wants to be hurt themselves.

So I really wanted to help Vivian because I felt that there was a chance I could understand her. And maybe...she could understand me as well and be my friend. I was eager to make friends for the first time in fifteen years and I would not allow Vivian to miss out on the chance to make friends either. Oh how good does it feel to say I want to make friends and how even better does it feel to say that I have them.

It was at that moment that I saw an old woman walking up to me hunched over and using a brown wooden cane for support. She had a purple hat on with a light blue feather attached to her hat and wore a long purple jacket that stretched down to the ground. She must have been far into her years of life I judged by her elderly features such as wrinkles and sagginess. However, she seemed quite gentle and looked very approachable. The look of her blue gleaming eyes through her oval glasses were welcoming. She walked over to me and greeted me out of no where.

"Why hello there young lady, are you the new child that has entered our little shelter? Veronica I believe?" She asked me in a soft-spoken voice. I had no reason not to answer or speak to her especially a woman who looked so gentle.

"Ah, yes I am. Umm...it's nice to meet you ma'am. Is there something I could help with?" I asked her as I picked myself up from the grass to meet her eye to eye. I saw we were almost the same height with me being a bit taller than her. She smiled at me as I did the same back for her.

"Oh no, I don't need anything from you lad. I just wanted to personally welcome you to the shelter. It's a pleasure to meet you," she said warmly to me. She reached out her hand to me all lady like and I kindly took her hand and softly shook it. She then let go and took a deep sniff of the air as she then looked up at the sky. I looked up to the sky where she was looking and saw a white bird flying by in the sky. I stared at the bird in marvel when I saw it fly by in bask in all the freedom of the sky as I did when I was in my old home. I always used to stare at birds in envy for their ability to fly and go wherever they want whenever they pleased. How I wish I was born with wings so I could fly too I thought.

I almost did not notice the elderly woman glance over at me before looking back up at the sky. She continued to smile and said, "Amazing creatures are they not? Birds that are able to grace the sky with their lofty wings and graze through the clouds as nothing but their second nature. How easy it is for them to experience freedom as we must stay on the ground. Tell me Veronica have you ever dreamed of flying yourself?"

"Huh? Me? Well...I mean who hasn't dreamed of flying before? It sounds wonderful to just grow wings and fly off to anywhere you want," I said with a shrug. The woman nodded to me and raised her eyebrows as she continued to look up in to the sky.

"Ah, but who says you need wings to fly young ma'am?" She said to me. I looked at her curiously as I saw a somewhat solemn expression on her face. She sighed before saying, "And there are many people who have not dreamed of flying. You want to know who those kinds of people are?"

"Who?" I asked.

"People who never knew that they could fly. People who may even be born with wings but never learned to use them. And that's all of us. People have tried to find ways to fly for years, but never realized that humans already had wings on their back. All it takes is a little push from a close friend or beloved family member, a gust of wind to ride on, and the infinite possibilities of the sky to soar to!" She said ecstatically with vigor in her step. She then patted me on the back and carried on with herself elsewhere. And when I stared at her back I could have sworn I saw what she was talking about. Wings. Wings on her back that were big and beautiful, so big that it seemed like she could fly from even the slightest breeze. They were magnificent and so wondrous in their magnificence. I wonder how her wings had grown so large? So beautiful? Years of life perhaps? I wonder if I have wings on my own back just like that woman does. I wonder if I too could fly just like a bird in the sky.

It was at that moment I realized that I have been lost in my own thoughts for a long period of time. I've been out here so long that strangers are just walking up to me to give me philosophical advice. Which makes me wonder why that woman told me all of that? Did she see that I was troubled by something I wondered.

That's when I saw the one and only person that I wasn't sure how I would feel or what I would do if I saw. Marlow, who had come to the shelter wearing the attire of clothes like the first day I saw him. He looked as cleaned up and suave as ever as he walked towards with me a big smile and waved at me. I wondered why out of all the homeless people I have seen why is it that Marlow pretty much does not look so homeless. White teeth, smells good, and he clearly takes care of himself and his personal hygiene. I wonder if people can even tell if he was homeless or not at first sight. But it wasn't his cleanliness that I was concerned about. Not by a longshot...though I do prefer that he is clean than unclean. I was more concerned about this throbbing in my chest, the wobbliness in my knees, and the settle flashes of sweet ideas about me and Marlow that I will keep to myself.

"Hey Veronica," he called out to me. "How are you doing?"

"Oh...I'm doing just swell!" I said back with a clear tone of unease and nervousness. I put a lopsided smile on my face as Marlow looked at me considerably oddly. He looked past my unease and looked around the area before looking back at me.

"Well, I came to ask you for a little favor," Marlow said to me.

"Favor? What is it?" I asked, with a tone of concern.

"Well, I would like to ask if you would want to come with me today as I help the homeless," Marlow said enthusiastically as I looked surprised by this. I did not expect Marlow to ask me for help all of a sudden.

"You want me to help you out? Well, what can I do for you? I mean...I never helped other people out before so I do not know what I am able to do for you, if I can do anything at all for you I would be glad," I said back to him as I brushed some strands of hair out of my face.

"Don't worry about it! You're not going to be doing anything I don't think you can handle. I mean if you can handle Miss Laurelie's chores than you can handle anything," Marlow said to me. He laughed as he made that joke but stopped when he saw my serious, cold expression looking back at him. "Umm, did I say something wrong...Veronica?" he asked.

If only he knew just how bad I was at actually doing my chores than I wonder how Marlow would view me. I managed to become public enemy number one in terms of chores in a single day. Oh how lucky I am Marlow has not been at the shelter the past few days.

"Oh no," I said back slowly. "You did not do anything wrong at all! Continue on with what you were telling me."

Marlow looked at me with a bit of worry but continued with what he was saying. "Okay...well like I was saying you won't be do anything serious. I usually go around helping any people I see on the streets and aid them with whatever problems they're having. And I have quite a bit of people I want to help today so I thought I would come ask you for help."

"Really? You want my help? Well, why?" I asked, very curious as to why Marlow went to me of all people for help with this.

"Hmm...I don't know...I just felt like you are the kind of person I could rely on for this. You seem quite kind and good with people. So why not? Are you...not interested then?" Marlow said lowly.

I eagerly perked up and shook my head as I said, "Oh no! I would gladly help out! Just let me go get changed into something more proper before we go okay?" Marlow nodded and said he would wait here for me as I swiftly(but not so quickly to make it look too obvious I wanted to go) went to the room I shared with Vivian in the north hall. I went into my room and shut the door behind me as I now had a mental freak out.

I spoke to myself in mumble tone, "Oh God, what am I supposed to wear? What does it even matter? This isn't a date Veronica! Or is it...? Oh my Heavens, is this a date? Of course it isn't Veronica! You're just over thinking it! This is a job! This is...just work! Yeah, just work like usual! So I should take this as a professional."

I quickly went to my bags and rummaged through the contents searching for any hint of clothing that my troubled mind would consider decent enough to put on. I had no idea what to wear and I was even more puzzled on what I was doing. "This is not professional," I screamed in my mind. "This is the opposite!"

I did not want to keep Marlow waiting so I picked out an outfit that felt feminine and pleasing to the eye. I layed out a light sherbet colored skirt with a white flowery top that were somewhat wrinkled but I was going to have to deal with it. I quickly got changed into the outfit and went out into the hall to go check myself out in the bathroom nearby when suddenly Robbie appeared in front of me.

"Hey Veronica, I have been looking for you!" he said cheerfully as he smiled at me. I nearly had a freaking heart attack when Robbie appeared out of no where like that! I did not even hear him wandering outside the door!

"Holy-...Robbie? What are you doing here in front of a maiden's room? That is not proper! You are slowly growing into a creeper you know!" I said. Robbie meekly rubbed the back of his head looked very sorry.

"Oh, I apologize sincerely Veronica. I did not mean to scare you," he said apologetically. He looked so sorry and timid with his head down that I could not help but let him off the hook this time. He was innocent after all, an innocent creeper.

"It's fine," I said with a small smile, waving him off with my hand. "You said you were looking for me?"

He looked up from the floor and nodded his head to me. He then said, "I wanted to ask you about what we will do about Vivian. I have no idea on how I am going to get her to open up to me let alone speak to me without throwing a chef's knife for my head!"

"She did that?" I asked in shock.

"Oh yes she did. Her aim is actually getting better I must say, but that's not the point! I don't know what to do at all...I'm actually quite scared of her. What if she doesn't miss next time? What if she sets me on fire? She knows where I sleep too..." Robbie said as what I assumed flashes of murder appeared in his mind. To be honest I did not have an idea of what to do either. I kind of hoped a situation would present itself to me and I could figure something out but I just got a friend! I am just beginning to socialize with people outside of the internet games I used to play. The only thing I could tell Robbie was to keep observing her and see if he can learn something. Might as well let Robbie use his unintentional creeper skills for good use.

"Okay why don't you keep watching her for now like you were before Robbie? Pay attention to small details, any details you can about her. Like that book she was reading. What kind of book was it? Does she...always read books like that? Learn about her!" I said, coming up with whatever on the spot.

"Hmm...all right! And...what will you do?" Robbie asked me, looking determined about his mission.

"Me? Umm I am going to...go with Marlow! To help him out with the homeless!" I said fiercely with a strong look.

"Yeah! Okay!" Robbie said ecstatically before he stopped and stared at me me oddly. "Wait, you're not going to help me? I thought we were doing this together..."

"We are! Later! I promise! But right now you have to prove...just how much of a man you are Robbie! To all of us," I mumbled at the end.

"What was that?" Robbie asked.

"Nothing! But look, you do this and when I get back we can make up a plan all right? I got to go!" I said quickly before I turned on my heel and was about to run to Marlow before Robbie stopped me as he called out to me.

"Umm...in those old shoes?" Robbie said, looking almost disgusted by my shoes. I looked down and saw my old worn out sneakers that I have always worn since freshman year of high school. They felt comfortable and right to me so why not?

"Uhh...yeah? Why? Is this bad?" I asked him. Robbie just shook his head at me and looked me up and down.

"Veronica, darling. Please. If you're going to go out with Marlow then you're going to have to look better than that! A woman's appearance is everything to a man and you were doing so well until you put those things on! Go in there and put on some nice heels that match with this outfit. I also want you to fix up this mess you call your hair and make yourself look like you actually want to enjoy yourself," Robbie said to me as he opened up the door and pushed me through it. I looked back at him and saw Robbie nudging me on with his hand. I did not even want to bother to argue with Robbie.

I went to my bag and pulled out a pair of black heels that I had and after taking off my sneakers and socks, I exchanged them for the heels. I had not fully mastered the art of walking in high heels but walking(though I have had issues with it before) was not my concern but being comfortable was. Why do girl shave to wear these things to look classy anyway? Who invents this stuff?

"Now you look ready for your date with Marlow," Robbie said, smiling at me with a clap of his hands.

"It's not a date...! And these aren't exactly comfortable on my feet," I said shyly back to him. Robbie just stared at my feet and shook his head.

"Probably because you wore them like once? Twice? You have to break them in Veronica! That's common knowledge for any woman!" Robbie said to me like I was the one at fault! If it is common knowledge to any woman then surely he should not know this! More and more Robbie was appearing to be a better woman than I was.

"Now try your best not to walk up or down any steep hills and you will be fine. Now you go out there and do your thing! Without...you know sending someone to a hospital," he said with a mocking smirk.

"I am not going to send anyone to a hospital!" I shouted, frowning at him. I then turned and walked away while telling Robbie I would see him later. Robbie said the same to me as I would stomp my way out of there but not in these heels. I went back out to the courtyard where I saw Marlow was chatting with some people. Then Marlow spotted me as I was staring at him from afar and after saying a few more words to the people he was talking to he then walked walked over to me smiling.

"You look beautiful Veronica!" I heard Marlow say to me, surprised to see my pleasing appearance. It was the first thing he said to me when he saw me and that comment surely made me succumb to his sweetness. A blush painted itself on my cheeks as my body shot up with a shock of embarrassment. I asked myself why Marlow's words have such an effect on me anyway? Why am I trying so hard to impress him and earn those words of compassion I desired so strongly.

"Thanks...Marlow," I said, shyly, looking away from him. I do not know how clear my shyness was to Marlow but he did not comment on it. Instead he told me he would lead the way as he held out his arm for me to take and walk by his side. He was acting like such a gentleman, something that I have rarely seen in my life. My own father never acted like this with my mother or me. Chivalry was a concept long since lost to me. I hesitantly took Marlow's arm and walked by his side as Marlow escorted me outside the shelter. He continued to prove to me chivalry is not dead as he even opened up the door for me to go through first. He also walked on the side close to the street in case he may want to protect me from oncoming traffic. He kept me close so I always felt safe and secure when I was with him. As I looked at him I thought to myself that Marlow is truly a wonderful person who was raised very well!

"So what made you get all dolled up? I did not even realize you could actually look so pretty!" Marlow said to me. He slowly but surely continued to kill off any good thoughts I may have of him.

"I...just wanted to look nice. This isn't 'dolled up' for a fair maiden such as myself!" I proclaimed. Marlow laughed as he we continued to walk down on the sidewalk through town. Marlow asked me along the way what I thought of the shelter so far. I told him that the shelter was a very nice place even if Miss Laurelie was strict and there are more chores than I count. Marlow agreed with me and told me she had always been like that ever since he met her a long time ago.

"Well I am glad you're safe and happy Veronica. I would hate to see that you weren't and I wasn't able to do anything for you. I don't know what I would do if anything bad happened to you," Marlow said. Those words were a real eye opener to me. Someone actually said that they were glad that I was safe. Happy to see I was happy! It was clear to me that the people I have met are much more generous and charitable than anyone I have ever met. Except Vivian. Everyone except Vivian. Oh and definitely my parents.

However, Marlow and the people at the shelter have proved to have honest amiable qualities that I can admire from them. I wondered what made those people so thoughtful and so friendly? What made them so understanding of people and their feelings and hearts? They are all homeless though they are not living in terrible situations in comparison to those with no where to go. Nevertheless, their lives are- how should I describe them? Hopeful? Yes, I think that is how I would describe their lives. Hopeful. Optimistically expectant that their lives can get better in some way or form. It's the kind of hopefulness that one would not see from the people that live in their comfortable homes without worry that their lives could change for the worse at any moment. No, they would not understand these people who struggle for their lives. The people that right now I can see some going through trashcans to collect anything that can be of use. Those that are on the sides of the streets begging for not even dollars but just simple change. These people have to have hope in their lives, otherwise they would just stop and give up.

Marlow must have noticed my somber expression as I witnessed the lives of the homeless around me. He suddenly broke away from me and told me that it is time to get to work right away. I stopped and stared at him before I looked around to see we were in the middle of the sidewalk near a row of buildings. I was looking for, or at least expecting, something more to all of this. People kept walking by without paying us too much attention and I did not see any homeless around here in this certain area.

"We're going to work right here? What are we planning on doing exactly?" I asked Marlow. Marlow told me to wait a moment before he went over to one of the buildings and in the crack between two of them pulled out two pieces cardboard from it. He then came back and handed me a large piece of cardboard as he took the other one in his own hands. I continued to just watch as Marlow pulled out a black sharpie from his pocket and then began writing on the sign. I noticed there were people now looking at us which made me feel slightly uncomfortable. But I then noticed they weren't staring at us entirely but Marlow's sign which he let face me so I could read it for myself along with other people.

I read it aloud, "I'll bet you one dollar you will read this sign!" I then shook my head as I just realized what I read and saw Marlow reaching out to with his hand, apparently for money.

"U-umm! I didn't bring any money with me!" I said, in a panicking tone. Marlow laughed and patted me on the head as he shook his head.

"It's fine Veronica. I wouldn't ask you for money. You see this is a sign that homeless use to try to get some money. You had to have seen something like this before right?" Marlow asked me. I nodded my head and he continued with his explanation. "Good. Then you should know what we are going to do. We're just going to sit here and relax while holding up signs to try earn some money. Simple right?"

"I suppose so, but what is with your sign? There is no way that will work!" I said, in disbelief of Marlow's tactic to be humorous. However, Marlow just gave me a look that said he knew what he was doing. A couple walked by him and he looked them straight in the eyes, smiled, and when they read the sign they began to laugh out loud at it. They then took out two dollars, one dollar each, and handed it to Marlow who smiled again and thanked them. The couple then walked off in the other direction and I was left amazed at how fast Marlow got some money.

"See, I know what I'm doing. I've been doing this long enough Veronica. You see, this can be kind of tricky to do. Honestly it all comes down to how lucky you are. Some days you strike out..." Marlow said as another person handed him a dollar which he put in his pocket. "And some days you get lucky enough to bat some more!"

I just watched as Marlow continued to rack in dollar after dollar with his smile and direct eye contact. Truth be told it probably was not just his sign but Marlow's charisma that drew people to him. He had this aura around him that just seemed to draw people to him. Marlow did not even look quite like a homeless person so I wondered if his appearance also had something to do with it. He certainly was approachable and he was not pressuring anyone to do anything. He just stood there and smiled at people. Sometimes he would wave and say hello to them even if they did not give him any money. He was definitely a professional at this.

"Come on Veronica, why don't you give it a shot? Try writing something on the board and see if you can earn some money. Nothing higher than a dollar though, and oh, you can do it many kinds of ways. You can write something sympathetic and straight to the point like 'need money for food.' Oh, or something funny like 'family kidnapped by ninjas and need a dollar for karate lessons.' I have seen a lot of different signs so you can't go wrong with whatever you put," Marlow said, looking eager to see what I come up with.

I was not positive on what I wanted to write but I surely did not wish to be dishonest entirely. There was so many things I could write that made it harder for me to choose anything. I looked at the people around me for some sort of message I could get from them. A sign that would give me an idea on what to write but even looking at their faces made it quite difficult for me to decide. Would they appreciate some humor? Maybe something compassionate? It was so hard to just write something on a piece of cardboard, but homeless people do this all the time if they are able to. They have to simply take a guess on what people might respond to and pray for a miracle or God's blessing that they can receive even the smallest amount of change. I looked back to Marlow and saw that he was still pulling in some money but there was still a large sum of people who just kept walking by. It made me then think that it does not matter what I put in the end. It's all up to hearts of the people and how much generosity and kindness they have in them.

That's when an idea had come to me all of a sudden. I immediately took the sharpie and began scribbling on the cardboard in big bold letters. I then drew diagonal lines within the letters to make them look more decorative. I looked at my sign and felt pleased with my pretty lettering as I added roses, daffodils, and other flowers that came to mind around the letters I just wrote. I had begun to turn this piece of cardboard into a piece of art as I decorated it with flowers and small doodles of a chibi styled girl asking for money. I had her drawn with a sad looking expression, big sad eyes, and her arms flailing around to make it look cuter. I took one last look at the board when I was done and being proud of my work , despite how simple it was, I turned the board for Marlow and the world to see.

Marlow looked at the board and read it out loud, "Need art supplies to make this look pretty! The guy next to me only gave me a sharpie to use...hey!" Marlow exclaimed as I gave him a mocking grin. "Oh, well excuse me for not having art supplies! But, I kind of wish I did now. I really like the flowers and that drawing of the tiny girl just flailing her arms around on the board. This is pretty good! I didn't know you could draw."

"Well you never asked! But...thanks. Drawing...is kind of my thing," I said sheepishly. I then felt nervous as I hoped that my sign would work. Sure enough a bit later one guy walked past Marlow and looked straight at my sign. He then looked at it and a smile grew on his face as he snickered at it. He gave Marlow a chortle when he saw him and he gave both of us a dollar each. Luckily this skirt of mine had pockets for me to put the dollar in. He then walked away from us and when he did a huge smile grew on my face. I was ecstatic that I actually did something! I was able to do something to help!

"Marlow! Marlow! You see that? He gave me a dollar! I actually earned us a dollar! Can you believe that? I did something right!" I said, feeling gleeful about my accomplishment. I even jumped up and down because I was so filled with delight. Marlow looked at me with surprise when he saw how excited I was.

"Yeah, congratulations. Your idea was really good and even surprised me! I did not know you could draw Veronica let alone be so creative," he teased me. I stopped and glared at him when Marlow said that. He even had the nerve to flash his teeth at me with his grin.

"Do you enjoy mocking me so?" I asked him.

"Hmm, very much so. Though I don't intend to be mean or anything. You're just so easy to mess with," Marlow said, chuckling.

"Well stop it! We have work to do!" I indicated. Marlow and I returned to holding up our signs and smiling and looking people in the eyes to earn some money. I did expect some people to walk by me without donating anything but each time it happened I felt a little bit disappointed inside. I told myself in my head that it was just one mere dollar we were asking for! Surely many people should have just that right? Yet I saw many people, some that even looked quite wealthy, but still could not cough up a single dollar bill. It made me angry to see that this is what people could be like. But I did try to think up reasons why they would not donate anything. Perhaps they truly did not have just one dollar in their pockets, wallets, or purses to give. Instead they had fives, tens, and twenties and did not want to give up too much money and felt it was a lot of trouble to go to an ATM machine for a single dollar. Some of them perhaps had places to go and could not bother to stop because they were in a hurry or had urgent business. I could come up with many reasons why people would not be humane enough to help their fellow man.

"Not so easy is it?" Marlow said to me. I looked to him and sighed before I looked forward again.

"No it is not. Is it really that hard to offer up a single dollar? I know they may have their reasons but this is for people without a home for peace's sake! How inconsiderate can people be?" I said angrily. I was surprised to see myself get riled up like this. Luckily, Marlow did not seem to mind me losing my self for a bit.

"Well maybe they have a reason ,or maybe they don't. But they do have some reason to doubt us you know," Marlow said, looking at me.

"Doubt us? Why doubt us?" I asked, puzzled as to what could make people doubt us. We did not look like bad people in the slightest. I would like to think we look like good hearted people.

"Hmm...well let's see. For one thing, they don't know what we will do with the money. It's not like we ever told them what we plan to do with their money. We never exactly said it was for us or anyone else. They're just giving us money for whatever reason they make up in their head. Some may think we will just run away with the money and not put it to good use. There are homeless who would use it for drugs and alcohol. Who knows some may think you actually want art supplies for your board," Marlow said, glancing over to my board.

"That is simply preposterous! Who would think that?" I said back to Marlow. He shrugged his shoulders and looked around.

"Lots of people or perhaps not very many. That's the thing with people you know? You never know what they're thinking inside their heads or what's going on with their lives. They could be having a really bad day from like work or something and don't want to be bothered with people like us. Some may simply not care at all and are only focused on themselves. There are hundreds of reasons why, but there is one thing we can say for sure. They're human just like we are. And humans are so complex and hard to understand that it's a wonder why we were made to live together. But hey, it's no problem Veronica. We know there are good out there in this world otherwise our pockets would be empty!" Marlow said as he then reached into his pocket with one hand and felt around in it. He then told me we should take a break since we have been working for quite some time.

I took one last look back to where I have been looking for quite some time now but haven't truly looked through until I heard Marlow's words. The world I live in. Truly it is a complex place to be in I thought as I walked over to the side of the building where Marlow had set down his sign and sat down on the ground next to it. I was about to sit down and join him but he stopped me when he put up his hand to block me. Before I asked what was up he took off his red jacket and spread it out on the ground next to him and then offered me to sit down.

"We wouldn't want you to get your pretty outfit dirty now would we?" he said warmly. I have pretty much gotten used to the idea Marlow would make me blush a lot when I am with him. I sat down next to him with my knees up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs. Marlow had taken out the quantity of money he had earned and then asked for my own. I reached into the contents of my skirt and pulled the body of money I had and gave it to him. He then began counting the dollar bills one by one out loud for me to hear as well. I had to admit I was only a little surprised Marlow could count the money, which he did very quickly. I wondered if his parents taught him to count or Miss Laurelie or someone from the shelter. Which made me wonder where exactly is Marlow's parents?

He told me when we met he had always been homeless which made me at first think he was abandoned as a child. I have heard that there are some cases where babies are left on the streets and forsaken by their own parents to die since they childcannot fend for themselves. I sincerely hoped that was not the case with Marlow and I wanted to ask him about that but I did not want to tread on painful thoughts for him. Marlow who is always so kindhearted and friendly, always smiling. I wonder how much pain could be behind his smile?

Marlow had finished counting and he counted about twenty-three dollars that he earned and twenty-nine dollars that I have earned. Making up for a total of fifty-two dollars. I did not know if that was good or bad but Marlow look only somewhat pleased.

"Hey, that's a lot is it not? We can go give this money to someone who may need it?" I said to Marlow. Marlow looked at me and told me we could but planned to give this money to someone specifically. Two sisters, to be exact, who are staying in a nighttime shelter somewhere on the other side of town. They came to Marlow and asked if he could help them raise some money for them. They told them they needed it because one of the sisters was sick, the younger one of the two. Marlow said he hadn't seen such a sickly girl like her before, especially one that had to be carried on her sister's back since they had no where to go during the day. Hearing this made me feel quite empathetic for their story and made me want to help even more.

"So then do we have enough for them to go to a doctor?" I asked Marlow. Marlow looked at the money and shook his head in disappointment.

"It's not like they have insurance or anything. Going to the doctor is not exactly cheap either. Prices for just a check up range from 45-80 dollars. And for as sick as she is however, they might have to do more tests on her. Plus any medication they may have to prescribe or anything like that," Marlow said before I cut him off at the end.

"Okay, I get the picture. We're short. So what are we going to do to earn enough money? These signs could take a while or too long at this rate," I said. Marlow agreed and seemed to be thinking of something that could work for us. I saw Marlow looked around until his eyes spotted a certain store across the street. It was a music store by the looks of it and there was a man standing outside of it with a guitar. Marlow then perked up when an idea must have come to him. Marlow told me to wait here as he got up and hastily made his way across the street to go speak to the man with the guitar. I then stood up as I picked up Marlow's jacket and brushed off the back off my skirt while I watched Marlow carefully. What was he going to do? He couldn't be thinking of doing what I thought he would do. Sure enough he did exactly what I thought he would and came back with that man's guitar case.

"I got it! We will use this! Luckily, I happened to know that guy with the guitar and he owed me a favor so we can use it for a little bit to earn the money," He said as he took the guitar out of its case and set it on the ground. He then showed me the slick, brand new black guitar that had the word crescendo written on in fancy letters near the base of it. I stared at the guitar in his hands and then looked back at him who was smiling at me.

"I hope you don't expect to play a guitar. I can barely play the triangle!" I exclaimed.

"Don't worry! I am going to be playing the guitar and you're going to do your best to look even prettier than you already are!" Marlow said with a wink to me. Trying to quickly run away from my shyness I asked him if he could even play the guitar. Marlow took that as a challenge and after he set down the guitar case and checking to see if the guitar was tuned he strummed it a few times to see if it sounded good. He then let his left hand's fingers play along the bridge, seemingly dance on the strings as Marlow looked like he was getting in tune with the guitar itself. It sounded really good as he played a short song while humming a soft, melodic tune. His voice was heavenly and sounded so wonderful like the music Marlow was able to play. I couldn't stop listening and my focus was stuck on Marlow as he played for a minute or so before stopping.

"Wow! That was...pretty good Marlow! I didn't know you could play guitar!" I said heartily.

"You never asked," Marlow said back to me, winking as he did. He took his jacket back from me and put it on himself as he set the guitar down then picked it back up when he was done.

I smiled and giggled before saying touche to Marlow. After that Marlow asked me to kindly open up the guitar case and scatter our money around in the case. When I asked him why he told me it would make it look like others have donated money to us because of how good our music is. Which would boost our chances of earning more money Marlow theorized. I did as I was asked after taking the money from Marlow and after scattering the money inside the guitar case I asked Marlow what he planned to do exactly.

"Well I am going to play a song and hopefully that will earn us some money. I learned to play guitar from Mr. Michael who taught me when I was kid. So I think I can play well enough for us," Marlow said, strumming the guitar again.

"Okay, then what am I supposed to do? Just look pretty?" I asked as I stretched out my skirt.

"Well you already have that covered. Umm can you sing?" Marlow asked me hopefully.

"Only when I'm in the shower, but I have been told even then I sound like I am trying to raise the dead!" I smiled at Marlow. He stared at for a moment and told me we can't afford for anymore people to go to the hospital. Okay, what is with everyone saying I am going to send someone to a hospital? I am not a disaster waiting to happen...am I?

"Okay why don't you just...dance around then? You can do that right?" he asked me. I shrugged and told him that I have not really ever danced before. Best I could do was shake my hips and move my arms a little. Marlow said that would be fine since it would probably look cute or funny somehow. I wasn't sure if I should take that as an insult or not and told him to get on with the show already then. I was worried I was going to embarrass myself or screw things up for Marlow but if I do not try to overdo my "supposed" dance moves then we should be fine I think. The people will donate for the music not my dancing anyway.

"So what do you plan on playing?" I asked Marlow as I prepared myself for this. Marlow thought about this for a moment and told me he would play a song from his favorite musician, Ed Sheeran. When I heard that I instantly knew what song Marlow was going to play and thought this could really work. I listened to music regularly when I was at my old home and Ed Sheeran was one of the musicians I would listen to occasionally. Marlow began by tapping the guitar in a rhythm to cue he was about to start as he counted down from three.

"Three, two, one..." Marlow then began strumming the guitar in a melodic and harmonious tone. I then began clapping my hands as I kept a smile on my face when I saw people stop and watch Marlow begin to play. Then when Marlow had a few people watching due to their curiosity Marlow began to sing the words to the song Homeless by Ed Sheeran. Marlow sung it so well and his voice began to sway the people to come by and watch as Marlow even lost himself in what he was doing. He played, smiled , and watched his audience grow in front of him. I noticed his eyes were darting towards me so I began swaying side to side as I smiled to the crowd. I could not tell what effect this had on them but they did not seem to hate it. They were focused on Marlow anyway as he strummed that guitar as if he was just simply used to it. Marlow glanced over to me and when our eyes met it felt so magical to be there with him. I then looked down at our feet to see people tossing money into the guitar case. But it was not just ones this time but fives and tens. I think I saw someone toss in a twenty as well! This was going very well! The crowd was enjoying it and we were earning what I thought was going to be more than enough to help those poor girls.

Then Marlow did something I could not expect and he turned to me and gave me a sparking look. Like he saw something in me that reflected in his very eyes. When he was near the end of the song he got to a personal part that talked about another person in the lyrics. He looked straight at me as if the song was now about me and him. The mentioned the speaker felt cold but with another person felt warm. He took a step closer to me and looked me right in the eye as he sung part that was almost seemingly directly to me. I stared right into his brown eyes as if there was a bridge that connected them. I began wishing that my name would part from his lips so the beating in my heart would feel even more enchanting. What was I feeling when I was with Marlow? What could I be feeling? I knew deep down what this may be but I was not sure if I should say what I think it is unless I should label myself a fool. I dared myself not to say it in fear it might escape and I say it right to him. Words I wonder when they were planted within me! But when I thought I would succumb to Marlow's kindness he broke away from me and finished up the song. Apparently the crowd must of loved that small moment between me and Marlow as they cheered even more and louder than before as Marlow concluded the song.

I was so bewildered by what just happened between Marlow and I that I almost did not notice him cuing me with his his facial expression and movements to take a bow with him. I slowly stepped over next to him and took a bow with Marlow without really having to force a smile on my face. The people had dropped more money in the guitar case as they applauded us a bit more. Most of their praise went to Marlow of course but I did not mind at all. Only compliments I got was on how cute I was and how I was such a good looking girlfriend. Other than they praised Marlow for his latent musical abilities I had no idea about. Wait! Someone mentioned I was Marlow's girlfriend? Hearing that made me fluster up as I tried to not let it get to me too much, but I guess to the people that is what we looked like...

Afterwards, when our show ended and our crowd disappeared. Marlow counts up the money and reveals we have a surplus of money. Way more than enough for that girl to go see a doctor. In matter of fact Marlow said those exact two sisters were walking up to us at that very moment. They must have been around when the show started but I did not notice them earlier because they were in the back of the crowd. They were both blonde haired and blue eyed girls that were wearing coats, gloves, scarves, and caps. The older sister walked up to us and greeted us. One of them was a girl that was around Marlow's height and the other must have been her sick sister that was holding onto her older sister's hand as they walked beside the other. The younger sister did not look so well either and I noticed she was carrying a cardboard piece as well. They must have been trying to earn their own share of money on their own time.

"Oh hello Christina, I'm glad you made it to our little show," Marlow said to the older one.

"Hello again Marlow, and what a marvelous performance you two put on! I'm going to guess you guys did that for my sister, Cindy?" she asked.

"Of course! Here, we earned plenty of money for you to go take your sister to the doctor ma'am," Marlow said as he handed the woman the money. Her face lit up with happiness and she looked so grateful when she felt the amount of money in her hand. She kneeled down and faced her younger sister eye to eye and put her hands on her sister's shoulder as she smiled at her.

"Look Cindy, we got enough money to take you to the doctor! You're going to feel all better soon okay? I plan on taking you straight there so we can get you checked up all right?" She said to the small girl who put a smile on her face and nodded. It warmed my heart to see the results of our hard work today. Just the thought that I helped this girl was more than enough to make up for everything we have done. It felt good to do something like this for another with nothing in return. Even when Christina offered to give us some money we both refused her. Marlow saying he does not take money for doing good deeds and I agreed with him fully. She thanked us again and told her sister to do the same for us. Cindy then walked over to me and Marlow and took a bow with that cardboard sign still in her hands and as she spoke in her cute little voice to tell us she was grateful. Grateful that we "saved" her life. I did not know whether to cry or not as hearing her say that was so heart warming. So very heart warming!

"You're welcome beautiful!" Marlow said with a big smile as hekneeled down to speak to her. "Now you go and get better real soon! Maybe one day I can take you to a park to play once you're all better. My friend Veronica here can come too along with your sister! We can all have fun together, would you like that?"

"Yeah!" She said ecstatically as she smiled at Marlow. The small girl then looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back at her as I told her that I would love to come play with her anytime she would like me to. She seemed really happy to hear that and when I noticed her board again I asked if I could see it. Thinking it was a sign like the one me and Marlow used. She stopped and looked at the board for a moment before turning it around to us. She said her sister wrote it and she could not read the letters herself but knew it was to earn money. Now, when she turned that sign around I did not expect to see what I did.

I read to myself, "Mom told us to wait right here. That was five years ago. Need money for doctor." I looked up to Christina who had a gloomy look on her face. That's when I realized that these two sisters were abandoned by their mother. Cindy did not look that very old herself and I knew that she had no idea what had happened to her. Christina must not have explained the full story to her because of the way this small girl smiled like she did. She was used to this lifestyle of being homeless as it was the only life she knew how to live. She did not know of the horrible story behind the life she lives now.

"Yes, our mother abandoned us five years ago," Christina began on her own. "I was only thirteen then and Cindy was only a year old. Too young to even remember what happened to us, or even what our mother looked like. My mother told us to wait on a bench outside the movie theater as she said she needed to draw some money from an ATM machine. We were planning on going to see a movie is what I was told. So my mom got back in her car and said she would be right back before she drove off. That was the last time I would ever see my mom. We waited for hours and hours and she never came back. I went looking for her myself as I brought Cindy with me. But I could not find her anywhere no matter how hard I would look. Days, weeks, and I think even months passed by with no trace of her. She had left us in this unsafe lifestyle without any place for us to go."

"Why couldn't you go home?" I asked her. Christina took Cindy's hand as Cindy walked over to her side again. Christina had to wipe away a tear from her eye as talking about this must have been hard for her.

"I tried...I did. But when I got back to our home I saw it was foreclosed. There were men that was taking everything out of our house and we no longer had a place to go. There were some men two guys in suits, that were even looking for our mother and that's when I heard one of them mention that the word is she had skipped town with her two daughters to avoid paying her debts. I was so scared of what would happen if they would have found us that I ran away as fast I could with Cindy. I ran until I stumbled across a night time shelter that took me and my sister in. Gave us a place to sleep at least. We been going there every night for the past five years. The people there have been good to us and they helped me find work. Eventually I will rent an apartment for us both to call our home and eventually I plan to send Cindy to school."

"I see..." I said solemnly as Marlow suddenly walked over to them. He offered up his arms to hug and console the girl which she did not take long to accept. She let Marlow hold her and the younger one joined in on the hug too. (Cindy simply enjoyed hugging people is what Christina said.) Marlow did not even have to think about it as he knew the girl was in pain and needed that. And I was thinking I was going to need one too when I thought how my own mother had abandoned me also. My father as well. They both kicked me out and left me out here to fend for myself. But I was lucky, and so very fortunate that Marlow had found me. Otherwise I do not know what would have happened to me. I don't know if I could make it like Christina and her sister did. Christina had to be strong to face anything and did whatever she could to take care of her sister whom she must love so very much. She was even going to do whatever she could to send her sister to school, but I did not hear her say anything about herself. She must plan on giving up on her own education until her sister is secure. It seems she has had to make a lot of sacrifices that I could not even begin to imagine. But for her sister, for her family, it seems she is willing to do anything for her. She began to cry uncontrollably and just say thank you over and over to Marlow and I. It brought me to tears too because I truly felt for this girl and her problems that were so similar to mine.

No one wants to be left lone. No one want to have to accept that their own family who is supposed to protect them has instead done the opposite. That's when I thought back to that old woman's words from earlier today. I realized then that sometimes people are just small birds that cannot fly yet and have no choice but to rely on their parent to take care of them. We are not strong enough to fly on our own and sometimes we don't even know that we can fly. But when I look at Christina...I see her wings. Cind I see huge wings like that will allow her to fly because she has suffered through the burdensome weight of her troubles for so long that one day she must have said enough is enough. She steeled herself and took off, just like that, she took off and flew Her little sister encouraging her to fly through everything. She flew so she could be able to take care of the only family she had left in the world. Her sister, whom she dreamed that one day she could fly as well. Now I fully understood Marlow's job of helping people. Because crap like this happens to people in this world for reasons no one can truly understand and that angered me. But...my anger would not change anything and I knew that. But for this little girl, I hoped that at least my smile would as when she looked at me I hoped my smile might help her. Hoping perhaps a smile could be a reminder for her to smile even when things look so bad for her.

Later me and Marlow were returning to Miss Laurelie's shelter. We were walking on a street that was right next to a big lake. It was not like the one that was near Marlow's tent but it was still beautiful to look at as the sun set on the horizon in the distance. The orange, purple, and yellow colors that swirled around in the background like a well done painting was a needed, breathtaking sight to see. Me and Marlow had been silent since we said goodbye to Christina and Cindy earlier. I simply lost my energy to talk about anything and I assumed he did too. Then all of a sudden Marlow stopped and walked over to the railings placed on the side and looked out to the lake. I stopped as well and looked back to him, wondering why he had stopped. Then he looked directly at me and asked me a sudden question.

"Veronica, why are you homeless?" he asked me, looking concerned for me. I did not expect him to ask me that so soon as I wondered if I should tell him the full story. Should I tell him who I really am and admit that I was lying to him? I looked at him silently for a moment before I decided to tell him why I was homeless but I did not wish to tell him who I truly was. Not yet at least.

"Well, umm...where should I begin?" I said as I walked over to Marlow and rested my arms on the railings. I looked out to the lake with Marlow and saw birds flying in the distance over the water. Flying seamlessly over the cool blue body of water. Heh, birds can fly just about anywhere it seems.

After thinking about what to say I said, "Well I was kicked out of my house by my parents. Or I should say...I was discarded by my parents for being an incompetent daughter who could not live up to the family name and the expectations that came with it. I was kicked out of my private school you see. I was not able to keep up my grades and when my parents found out... Well, they shunned me and deserted me! There was nothing I could say...or do...nothing would make them change their minds once it was already set. I was even disowned by them! They betrayed me, manipulated me, and...they have done so much to me..." I began crying softly to myself because of the saddened emotions I was trying to keep inside. The pain that was dealt to me that I could not ignore from all the abuse I have been dealt. Marlow saw this in me but did not say or do anything. He looked down and away from me as he kept silent.

A moment later he asked me if I wanted to know why he was homeless. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and looked at Marlow who was looking back at me with a serious expression. Of course I wanted to know why Marlow was homeless so I simply said, "Why?"

Then Marlow reached inside his shirt and pulled out an old looking pendant that was connected on a yellow chain around his neck. It had the words, "My sweet home" inscribed on the front of it and on the back had the words "To Marlow" inscribed onto it. Marlow had taken off the pendant and he handed it to me for me to see it. I examined the pendant in my hands and felt the little weight I felt in the palms of my hand and the smoothness to my touch.

"It was a gift from my mother. She gave it to me before she passed away...right in front of me," Marlow said softly to me. I looked at him and saw him gave a very small smile to me before he gazed back to the lake. "That tent I stay in used to be our home. Me and her stayed there together for a few years and we helped make it the way it is together. My mom was such an amazing woman that I have always looked up to. She was strong, caring, and she was so kind to everyone she met. She spent her time taking care of me and helping others as much as she could. Heh, I guess you could say I took after her for sure."

I took a step closer to Marlow while holding his pendant in my hand. I pressed a button on the side and it opened up to reveal a picture of what I deemed was a young Marlow as a boy and his mother with her arm around Marlow with a white background. They both looked very happy and were smiling in the picture. She was a beautiful woman, absolutely stunning to tell the truth. She had the same hair, eye, and skin color as Marlow did. Judging by the look of her she was Hispanic which would make Marlow Hispanic or at least part. Regardless, she looked like she really was a caring woman and I could see now where Marlow gets his own share of good will from.

"She is beautiful Marlow," I said to him. Thankfully, this made him smile and thank me for saying that about his mother. He genuinely appreciated the kind words I could tell by the look on his face.

"I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. A lot of people did. But, you see Veronica, it was just us for as long as I have known. I was born homeless and always have been. I was born in Miss Laurelie's shelter on December 24th I was told. My mom was even best friends with Miss Laurelie. That's probably why Miss Laurelie acts like my second mother sometimes," Marlow said with short laugh from both of us. "So my mother was homeless some time before I was even born. I never got to know nor have I never seen my father. I don't know if he is alive or not. My mother told me that she, like you, was kicked out of her house by her parents when they found out she got pregnant as a teenager. They wanted her to get rid of the baby by having an abortion but she refused to do so even my when my father walked out on her and disappeared. My mom made the choice to live out on the streets to raise me instead of giving me up. She did everything she could to take care of me and I never once hated her for the life we lived you know? I mean how could I? She was my mother who loved me so much. Plus I had Miss Laurelie and Mr. Michael and the shelter as well with everyone else who stays in the shelter. But when I was ten, after the night before when something had happened between her and Miss Laurelie. An argument I believe. We were at our tent when she told me to go get Miss Laurelie after showing signs of illness. She was very sick and I had only just begun notice it. I ran as fast as I could but I was not fast enough to go get help for my mom. When I had got Miss Laurelie and returned to the tent with Miss Laurelie following behind... My mom was already prepared to die and even told me goodbye. She tried to avoid me having to see her die in pain from her illness. But even when her plan did not work she handed me that pendant and told me...sorry. She apologized and told me for the last time...'happy birthday Marlow' and that she loved me. Those were her final words, the last thing I would hear from her. What a birthday...that was for me..."

When Marlow concluded his story I was left with a feeling of deep empathy and sorrow. It seems that Marlow also was keeping a lot of pain within him as I was. But after all these years he is still helping people like his mother once did, perhaps, in her honor. Marlow continued to help people and smile for them so that they would not have to suffer so much alone. The door to Marlow's heart was open for everyone's pain to walk right in. Marlow would do anything he could to help others. I knew what not else to do but hug Marlow and embrace him as tightly as I could from behind. I do not know if Marlow cried or not but I did not see it. I do not know if I could bear to see Marlow so sad and I wonder if even his big heart could bear to see me so hurt. What a pair we were indeed. I learned about the depths of the pain that is known as loneliness that day. Being forsaken intentionally or unintentionally, the pain of having to say goodbye to someone, or being left alone by someone once close to us will always hurt us humans so severely.