The beginning of the End

In a world full of dangerous mythical creatures and you one of them. Would you be adding to the mess or taking away fro the disaster.

PROLOGUE

                  The sun beated down as i layed on the yellow grass drowning in my own blood. The heart of mine beated pumping the blood faster as it tryed to fight of the manisfestation. I attempted to hold on to life that was worth living. Soon i realized that this was one fight i wasn't  going to win. I gave up, but what ever was inside of me wasn't going to let me. I heard a faint yell, it was him. He followed the splattered blood trial towards me. "Na..Na!" He Screamed seeing my lifeless body laying there. Picking me up he took be back to our hut...The worst part was as he layed on the ground in our hut with his blood and my blood covering him, i left him there with out remaining to see what happens to my husband. Sorrow but no tears.

 

CHAPTER ONE

                    I hate what i've become, and a shamed of what i am. . A life forever is not always life worth living. I'm cursed with being the third type of my kind. There are only three types: First, The transformation went terribly wrong they can grow old, sleep, eat exspect they need blood but not much of it. Second, They stay the age they were changed at forever, they can sleep, they need blood. My type, We have amazing sense semotion and physical. we stay forever young be need blood. The good about the frist and second option they can die. Me on the other hand can not. God knows i've tryed to die, i've tryed so many times.

                   My bedroom is covered with my latest discovery for attempting to kill myself. Sameri Sords are spread across one wall looking like its for decoration. Under my bed in a secret compartment lies hundreds of knives. I've wanted to die for so long is like mothers instincts about there children. My insticts are death.

                  I found away to kill myself and it almost worked. I hadn't eaten for weeks, months infact, it made me so weak. I was so happy when the knife passed through my skin. It peirced some of my organs which gave me a sense if freedom. Before i knew my body had began to heal its self with the knife stil trapped in my stomach. I let out load and highly projected scream. With in mili seconds Owen was running saying "What the hell are you doing Naomi?" He had his hands on the knife and started to pull it out before i had a chance to speak. "Owen!" the knife dropped to the floor "you bastered! i wanted to die!" He walked away with out looking at me.

                   There was no blood on the floor all cleared my and disappered before i could see the damage i've done to my self. I dropped to the floor, sat where my blood was, no should of been. It was a form of tourcher, making my self remember the past. It was my personal way of keeping my past alive. But i hate to think about it, it hurts more than any pain i could of exsperienced before.

Author's Note

please read and review.xx

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

Lot's of things need to be reread and corrected here. It sounds like one of those cliche blood sucking tales right after Twilight hit the jackpot, but it was not boring. It kept me asking questions throughout the page. Like: why did she become immortal and how? Where did she come from? Why did she want to die? What was her purpose in life other than dying? It sure is interesting but I suggest you go through this chapter, clean the errors, add more spice and mental images to the words, maybe even rewrite some parts it in a better form, since they sound uh...kinda plain, example, instead of: "But i hate to think about it, it hurts more than any pain i could of exsperienced before." you could try something like: "You could replace it with: My insides died evertime thoughts of it crossed my mind; I would remember and I would die. And I would hurt in the process. But My heart was still beating. I wondered if there ever would be an end to it."



and I really hope you'll continue this story. Thanks for posting, keep me updated.

-Wela.

[Tyler and Lozza]

Love it Millie.... alot :D ♥ - Lozza

[Millie]

Yeah i know my spelling is actually terrible but it doesn't come to mind when i've got a story in my head

You owe you pay- it's not meant to be a love story because she was marryed when she was human, but really it's about her struggle to find death which seems to escape her grasps. It's meant to be the story where you find out why she acts the way she does through out, sorry if it gets confusing.

Victoria Everly- I will be writting more. Do you have any idea's on how to improve the story line?

Thank you both for reviewing :).xxxxxx

[Victoria Everly]

There is alot of grammar and spelling errors here. The storyline is pretty good and it does make me want to find out more about her. Keep writing and I'll be sure to keep reading.
Thanks.