Chapter 5

c h a p t e r .5

♀

Friday was the longest day of my life. I had begged my parents to let me go to the mall. Of course I had to lie a little here and there. I never really brought up Matt around them, because I know they wouldn't let me be with him, and they didn't know the other people who was going, so I said that Mikayla would be going too, and Raina maybe also (I never told them about me and Raina's fight.. that would just be digging me own grave).

At first my dad was totally against it; he said that with school starting in just a couple days I shouldn't be going out of the house, especially to the mall, where people can pressure me to do bad things (which I wouldn't, but I guess he just doesn't trust his own daughter).

"Honey, we do trust you, it's other people we don't trust." My mom would say, as if that would make the whole problem go away.

"Mom, but I have been working hard all summer! I took that summer job that I didn't even want, but I said 'Oh well,' and did the work like you and dad asked! I did all the summer homework you picked up for me so I'm already ahead in English, Math, and Health! So why can't I just have a few hours with me and my friends?"

"My friends and I," my dad then corrected me. What an English nut. "Let's see.." He began to think. Like.. Really, I couldn't believe it!

"What dad?" My heart was beating fast, the anticipation was killing me!

"I guess... You can go. But I have to drop you off and pick you up."

Hah, that's better than nothing! "Yes, dad, thank you!" I ran up to him and gave him a big hug. I called Matt later to confirm, and it was really going to happen! So now all that was left was for tomorrow to come, and like I said, Friday seemed to never end!

I woke up early in the morning to get ready. I really took my time, because I wanted to look good. I even broke mom's rules about  make up. I put on a little blush and mascara, and luckily she didn't notice.. Though my dad said I looked a little "glowing" this morning.

"Wait, Jasmine," my mom called from the kitchen as I fixed my hair one last time in the living room mirror.

"Yes, mom?"
"Did you go to Prep Day yesterday? At Black River?"

I'm pretty sure I gasped. Crap! "Uh, no.."

"Well, we have to go now! Come on this is important!"

Crap, crap, crap! Why now of all times?! I should have gone yesterday! "But mom, the mall!"

"You can go, but we need to get this done first! Now don't argue with me, get in the car!"

I tried really hard not to give any bad looks, because I couldn't get in trouble now. So I turned around and then rolled my eyes and walked outside to the car.

I waited for my mom to get in the car. She told me that she told dad that she would be taking me to the mall instead, to save gas. So I told her politely to drive as fast as she could, because I couldn't possibly get late on an important day like this!

Finally parked at the school, I ripped the seatbelt off and dashed for the cafeteria.

"Slow down!" I heard my mom shout behind me.

"No time for slowing down!" I sped all the way to the cafeteria non stop. It was about 11:20, and from what I heard, these prep day things took forever! I was suppose to be at the mall at noon, but something tells me I wouldn't be getting there on time like I hope.

When I walked into the cafeteria, it seemed to be divided up into sections: Freshman, Sophomores, and Juniors... No Senior area for some reason. Anyways, I looked around for someone in line that I recognized, like a friend, so I could cut in line with them, preferably someone standing near the front. That's when I saw Lucas.

We made eye contact and he moved his hand in a motion that called "come here". So when mom walked in behind me, I told her to wait on one of the benches and I ran over to Lucas in excitement and gave him a big hug.

"Hey!" I said.

"Sup, I haven't talked to you in forever." He smiled. Lucas was one of those cute boys who were your friends. The kind of person you think about going out with, but you just don't feel like you two would work out because of your friendship. We talked about that over the summer, and I just politely said I wasn't interested. But we hoped to get some classes together.

"Man, how long have you been waiting here?" I asked, looking at the line in front of him.

"A while. At least 35 minutes."

"Whoa, more than half an hour?" I was startled. That's a long time, way too long for me.

"Yeah, you need to, uh, get somewhere?" His eyes kind of drifted behind my head.

"Yeah, I have to go to the mall with some friends." I must have blushed, because he gave me this funny look and smiled.

"Friends huh? Is there a, guy friend involved, somehow?" He snarled.

"How'd.. you know?"

He looked behind me again, kind of squinting a little, then went back to me. "Well when you said 'friends', you turned a little pink. And seeing as if you're in a hurry, you've obviously got a date.." he tilted his head again behind me. And it was getting annoying. 

"Do I have something on my head, Lucas??" I patted my hair.. I know I had a headband on, and I don't usually wear those, I was scared maybe it messed up my hair.

"No, it's just, that guy over there is like... Staring at you."

"Huh?" I turned around and saw him..

He didn't seem that much taller than me, I'd say 5"4, but I admit he was cute. I felt we were then really staring at each other; he must have realized because his eyes grew a little huge, and then he turned around. It's a funny feeling that made my cheeks flush, because I had never had a boy stare at me before.

"Man Jasmine, school hasn't even started yet and you've already got juniors checkin you out." Lucas nudged my shoulder.

"What, no!" I nudged him back. "But uh, does my hair really look okay?"

He laughed that Lucas-only laugh. "It looks terrible."

I smiled. "Well thanks, sir."

When we got our schedules I just had to compare our's. I haven't had a real talk with him since 6th grade, and he told me he hoped that we got some classes together. Sadly... None. Bummer! I could really have used another friend this year. Nothing against Johnny, Michael, or Mikayla, but I was looking for change this year, and that meant new friends.

I checked my phone, and it was already 11:50, and there's no way I would make it to the mall before noon, so I told Lucas to get my locker number for me and text it to me. He said he would, and with that I rushed to my mom and we were off. I took one last glance at the boy who was staring at me earlier. He was standing in line with Caleb, one of my older friends that I've known since middle school. He must be a friend of his. Hey, so maybe if he's friend with Caleb, he can be my friend too!

"Hurry up, Jasmine!" My mom called me into the car.

"Oh, yes mom!" And I ran out to the car and joined her.

12:20... I hope Matt doesn't think I bailed on him. I constantly checked my phone on the ride there; no missed texts or calls. My mom stood with me in front of the mall, and the both of us just waited. It was a little awkward. Also, I wondered what her reaction would be when a tall, absolutely handsome, Asian male walked up and said, "Okay, let's go Jasmine." I think my mom just might die. I know I would have.

12:30... Had he forgotten about me? Or maybe he was here waiting and since I wasn't here he decided to go home, and he was too angry to call me! Oh man, I tried really hard to make it today, I really did!

My mom sighed. "Jasmine, we've been here long enough, I think your friends have made a mistake.."

"No mom! They're here!" I thought maybe if I said it, it could be true.

"I'm going to the car, if they're not here in 5 minutes come back, promise?"

"Yes mom, of course." 

She scurried off and left me still standing in front of the mall. Watching all the couples, hand-in-hand walking into the mall all lovey-dovey and stuff made me feel so envious. I wanted to do that, be that girl smiling and laughing, going to the mall and holding hands with her boyfriend. People don't know how lucky they are..

After 5 minutes, I totally gave up on all hope of them coming, of Matt coming, but once I started walking back to the car, there he was! Matt!

"Matt!" I shouted, half excitedly and the other half lovestruck.

"Hey," He waved and gave a loose smile.

He walked up to me, with his friends behind him. It seemed like something was up, and it wasn't good. I thought maybe he had decided not to hang out with me, and that was not a good feeling.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"Well uh," he scratched the back of his neck. "kinda."

What?! "Kinda?" 

"Yeah, you see, I was hanging out at Mai's house," he pointed to a girl about my size standing next to him, "while we waited for her boyfriend to come so we could go to the mall together. We started playing video games and stuff, and when Steven got there," he eyed the taller guy standing next to Mai, "we just all kinda forgot about the mall 'cause we were all into this game, so sorry for being kinda late.."

What the hell? "Oh I understand," No I don't. "So why did you guys come back?" Why did you bother showing up anyways? 

"Well I remembered, and I'd hate to have you waiting here, so we showed up but we're only gonna stay for a while."

"I see," I feel so stupid. "So where are we going to go?"

"Well I feel like making this whole incident up to you so," he walked over to me, leaned in and put his hand under my chin; I thought he was going to kiss me but instead, "I'll take you out for ice cream." he said.

His face was so close to mine. If I just stretched my neck out a tiny bit, our lips would have met perfectly. I felt a little embarrassed to have him this close to my unattractive face, but I wanted to remember this moment.

"Uh, well, okay.." I shyly put out.

Together, the 4 of us walked over to Ben and Jerries down the street, which is an expensive ice cream place, and I couldn't believe he was going to treat me! Three 16 year olds and one 14 year old.. But it didn't matter, because I had a feeling this would be the best day ever!

• • •

Well, forget about what I said about the whole, "best day ever"... It went pretty bad actually. I mean, a small ice cream at Ben and Jerries is 7 bucks, and Matt only brought 5 with him! I ended up paying the whole thing because he told me to, and he got a real kick out of it. At first I just laughed it off, but when he decided to hog the ice cream that we were supposed to end up sharing, I just couldn't take it. I mean, first you make the girl that's younger than you pay for our ice cream, then you eat it ALL..? 

We went back to the mall because Steven and Mai wanted to check out Aeropostale, leaving me and Matt sitting on a bench outside Sears. 

"Hey, that girl was hot." He started.

"Huh?" I turned to him, looking a little peeved.

"That girl that just walked by, was the hottest girl I've ever seen." He chuckled.

Like, what the hell man? "I see.." Skinny, tall, too much make-up with shorty-short-shorts.. That's the kind of girl he likes.

10 minutes of silence between us flew by, then Matt reached into his backpack that he brought with him and pulled out a sketch pad.

"Oh, you're gonna draw?" I asked, peeking at his pad.

"Yep, nothing else to do.."

You could talk to me, you know.. "Oh, well I'm sure you'll draw something great."

"Thanks, I always do." 

Huh, conceited much?

Matt handed me his pencil, "Here, you wanna try?"

So he's actually offering me to do something for once! "Uh, sure."

I usually do pastels and paints, I sketch or draw once in a while but not much. I draw anime, a Japanese-style art, but it's not very good, at least not to me, and they're certainly not as great when compared to Matt's amazing skills.

Whatever, I sketched out a simple chibi-style girl. "Tada." I thought it actually looked good.

"Is that an alien?" Matt laughed.

"W-what?" Was he kidding?
"I'm sorry.. But that's a terrible chibi." He continued to laugh. Then he took the pencil from me and started doodling all over the page, while I went back to sitting in silence.

I hated this, I was so glad when Steven and Mai came back. I told them I would just wait here for my mom and they could go back home without me.

"We didn't even have room for you in the car anyways," Matt joked as they left me on the bench.

"Yeah, it was nice seeing you guys too.." I whispered to myself, giving them a glare as they left the mall.

I know I haven't really talked to him in like, a whole year, or even seen him until today, but now that I've actually hung out with him... What a jerk! I can't believe I even thought that I loved him!!

When my mom picked me up I was silent the whole ride home, and when we finally got home I ran right to my room and tried to sleep (even though it was only 3 in the afternoon). I buried my face in my pillow, and tried to forget everything I ever thought about Matt... 

He's so cute.

He looks so nice.

He's so mature.

So cool.

So silent.

So talented

So cute.

So cute.

So cute.

So... cute..

That was it... I only liked him because he was cute! Because of how he looked! I didn't dare once think about his personality!

My dad would call this a 'Blessing in Disguise', at least now I see where I went wrong and next time I can fix myself. When I start to have a crush on a boy, I'll ask myself, Do I like him because he's cute, or because of his personality? Because to me, personality matters just as much as attractiveness. And that reminded me of what Johnny and I had talked about: Finding that special someone; I was for sure now that he doesn't exist. And I had just fallen out of love for the first time.