Where's the Cream

Warning there is one wee curse word at the end.

Where's the Cream

What do you mean?
You don't have any cream?
the Starbucks-spoiled princess did yelp;
she lamented; and let out a scream.

Holy Green Mermaid! she carried on.
I see skim, 2-percent, and whole milk, 
there's even a fermented bean juice, 
rotting away on the shelf!

Half and half is not the same,
my petulant apron-clad friend.
Put that water-downed atrocity away;
you put it away in the bin!

It's cream in my coffee, 
the fattier the better.
This cup is my nirvana;
calories don't count in heaven. 

Now, I know what your thinking;
Our little princess should switch to decaf tea
The problem, our little princess ...
                                  our little princess is me.

So take my advice for another day, 
another day you want to live, that is.
For without my morning cup of joe,
this princess is a fire-spitting dragon. 

From my dead gripping talons, 
will you get my cup of caffeine;
so wipe that silly smirk from your face;
soothe the beast ... a
nd get me some f*****g cream!!!

Author's Note

Reviews

[Mittens]

I am never getting between you and your caffeine... that is a dangerous situation. In fact, it might be safer for us all to just invent a way of introducing it to your system intravenously. But on the plus side, apparently that wonderful chemical leads to some fantastic writing out of you, so we might actually up your dosage.

By the way, I love that your "I don't care what you think of my Starbuck's Princess" side and how you're unapologetic about it. You do such a good job of the perspective that I'm willing to bet you could write a story about two year old throwing a tantrum and actually have the reader sympathizing with what we would normally perceive as a annoying incident.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Matt. It's all about perspective really. I mean how ridiculous to get so upset over such a small thing. (PS. I am not really this bad.) We are so blessed, but yeah cream is better. Part of my philosophy in this life is to laugh off as much as you can, and laugh at yourself as much as you can, leaving the fretting for the big stuff. So glad you enjoyed and another fantastic review, sir.

[annie lee]

This is too great. It makes me recall one of my road trips back to Kansas a few years ago. We left the motel in Grand Junction so early that in the unfamiliar surroundings, I could not find any purveyor of coffee. I was the only coffee drinker in the car and also the only driver, so coffee was high on my priority list. But rolling east on I-70, I felt sure that while climbing up into the snow-capped Rockies, we would find a Starbucks or a reasonable facsimile -- see, I was even willing to compromise. Unfortunately, I had to drive all the way to Vail before I came upon a Starbucks. The place was packed, and I realized that every Starbucks should have a glass-enclosed case in the wall with a steaming Latte with 2 shots of espresso, and written on the glass would be "Break Glass in Case of Emergency." So I stood in line with a bunch of yuppie tourists on vacation, happily chattering about their morning. By the time it was my turn, I was seriously ragged -- did manage to keep my aplomb -- ordered the necessary latte. I was civil, controlled. But I bet nobody in there knew how dangerous I really was.

[Pryde Foltz]

It's a simmer. Thank you, Annie.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

this catches you instantly...as I read the entire read of this one...the lines are demanding...I have a second to go over some verses...

Thanks for the invite...I'm back to work with copy writer and doing my best to write 1000 words a day...and a subject you do not get to choose...will be busy the next few months...so I will read all RR"s might just take a bit longer to get a review...hope you understand...plus promote my book: The Onyx - Vena Amoris...for late next month release…

[Pryde Foltz]

Absolutely understand. Good luck with your release and thank you for the read.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

lol... I envy the place where pieces like this come from! "calories don't count in heaven" such a brilliant line within a great piece!!

[Pryde Foltz]

This one came from a moment of self-mockery. I was at whole foods and they did not have a full cream and were, indeed, trying to pass off half and half as cream. I did not scream expletives and I hope I communicated respectfully, but I ended talking to a supervisor and manager and it became this hilarious mela-drama about different kinds of creams. I am sure from now on I will be known as the cream lady. So I sat down and made fun of myself. It was very therapeutic. There's the story. Thank, hero(I'm just going to call you that now. It seems befitting.)

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

You've taken a funny story and churned it into a piece of poetry. lol that's the best funny I can do in the written realm, believe me, I've tried. haha There's nothing wrong with being the "cream lady," they know to have all the ducks in a row when you come breezing through. It's fitting indeed, and more than ok by me.

[ASPAR (A Sol Poet Arnay..]

Lol I tell you the Holy Green Mermaid! got may attention .. I like it.. No Cream what a crime..
This was enjoyable light & well penned thank you for sharing :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, A Noel.

[ASPAR (A Sol Poet Arnay Rumens)]

:) keep going :)

[Angi]

Ha! Preach it, Girl! I feel exactly the same way about my coffee. That watered down crap has got to go. This had me nodding my head and grinning, Pryde! Angi~

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Angi.

[TL Boehm]

as in coffee so in life. found this to be a metaphor for so much I face daily. I normally steer clear of cussing in my own stuff and in the stuff of others UNLESS the bomb is appropriately placed and this - this is a bullseye! I am screaming right along with you! loved this.

[Pryde Foltz]

Yes, the f'bomb is not usually my cup of tea or coffee. I'm with you and initially I had 'bloody' there instead, but it felt like a cop-out. In the end, being true to the piece meant the f'bomb was needed. Being truthful is a must in these things. Thank you, TL.

[sayed Mudasir Ali]

It is a nice poetry piece and I must disagree with some of the remarks made below. I support your writing in a way that free verse is only verse which has made poetry alive till today. I can openly say your words and thoughts have the action and feel, pain etc ...........You are one of those poetees which will be read all people............I love your poetry , there is discpline in your writing.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Sayed. Please don't be too worried about the one review below. This a humour piece and not everyone has the same sense of what is funny. This piece makes me laugh and I am happy you liked it too. Thank again, Friend.

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh, I absolutely LOVED this. It seems the world wants to dictate how much fat, sugar, and carbohydrates we consume. I think we should have the choice. Loved the imagery in this one....a fire-spitting dragon with death grip talons! I am sure you would scare the bejeebers out of any barista! A real hoot....as I drink my first cuppa this morning! Lydi**

[Pryde Foltz]

Mostly just a jest, but yes I can get bit cantankerous. Thank you, Lydi**

[OTownPete]

Interesting little rant but as poetry it really didn't do much for me. Perhaps I am coming from an entirely different place when it comes to poetry than many on this site. Your friend in words, Pete

[Pryde Foltz]

No problem, Pete. I am making this up as I go along. lol