Mr. Erickson

"The influence of a good teacher cannot be forgotten"

The next day arrived and there was hope in my heart for I am one a step closer finding the girl I once saw across the fountain at the park.

Ivan and I just woke up, still sleepy from last night. We had breakfast and we headed out to find Mr. Erickson, who now apparently works at a bank. As I was parking the car upon arriving at the bank, I was so nervous that I stayed for like ten minutes inside the car, and when I finally got out; Ivan just got a message that his presence is required else where.

"I have to go check on something, I'll be back in a few hours" Ivan says as he leaves and hails a cab.

So I had to do the rest on my own. In the first place Ivan was just helping out. My plan was to get things over as soon as possible. Just get in there and ask him what I needed to know but I ended up withdrawing some money instead. Well, that went well, didn't it? Anyway, while I was there I can't help but notice that he is not on sight. I looked everywhere but he wasn't there. Loosing my cool and focus. I didn't notice that while looking for him, the line behind me got thick.

They were saying things to me but I couldn't hear them because I was solely focused on searching for Mr. Erickson. Then I was brought to the office for questioning. Apparently, I was being suspicious. It was turning bad but not too fast because there is a silver lining behind every dark sky. The manager who's about to question me is the guy that I am searching for. 

He has not changed one tiny bit. He was not not mad at all. Because he recognize me. Instead, we started catching up. Our conversation went on and on, enough for me to ask him my questions and enough for me to know,that when he resigned his car was sold to a lady. Who, for long time had her eyes on the vehicle. He sold it a young businesswoman named Louise Kayla, who is known for selling and leasing karaokes' around town. Mr. Erickson had her contact information and I got it.

This is now the moment I've been waiting for. Now that I know who owns the car, I'll be able to find out who the girl is.

So I called Louise for a rental of a karaoke unit but really, I wanted to ask her about the girl I saw, she might even be the girl that I'm looking for herself. So I called her and arranged a meeting.

Then the next day,we met...

Author's Note

The door is open for criticism, judging, evaluation and critiquing. Please do tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Akash gaikwad]

Ohhh your story caught my eye so I read it till the end to know what's the ending.
I like the first chapter it created a good build for the reader to go for the next chapter. Also you story is in very simple vocabulary to understand. The music part in the start that is so me. I always do that.
What can have be done better is
first the ending was bit left incomplted I felt...
Second in the searching chapter why do they only pull out high school photos that didn't came well...
I think vocab could have been strong so that it can make your character more real and people can get into the depth of the character's view or his or her struggles.
I hope I was helpful.😊

[AizenJ]

Thanks for the review. It was really helpful...
See you on the next chapter. ^_^