Coffin Big Enough For you and me

This is a old poem for the good people that worry that bad things will happen to them for no reason. Do enjoy.

I told you before we died
I wasn't telling lies
They will build a coffin
Big enough
For just you and me
Our bodies will lie
side by side
tightly tied

So they did bury us
Ten feet underground
Empty space, so small
We couldn't move around
I knew
We would be buried together
Trapped together
We couldn't get out
I hoped we could survive
Being buried alive

But the ropes were so tight
We could not be set free
We slowly suffered underground, you see
Desperate for air
Desperate to escape
From the coffin we shared
Every minute we couldn't bare

Dreading it
That our life's were going to end
Our lungs were suffocating

Death, why does it after to be this way 
We tried
We could not get any air
Side by side we lie
We closed our eyes
Fast a sleep we went

Then I felt I had lost something
My body, I had left
My soul now hand in hand
With him I suffered with
We walked away
And disappeared into the beam of light

Reviews

[PaperHearts]

Very interesting! I thought that you did a fantastic job in capturing the voice of this character, and describing the situation in a way that made it sound passionate and full of love, as opposed to just weird and creepy. Haha, I really loved the concept behind this poem! The ending was great as well; I loved the last line. :)
~PaperHearts

[Awdures]

Stuck in the coffin with the one I love alive? Nah I'd have argued him to death!! Sorry British humour sucks! Love the poem, and it's very wuthering heights esque I don't know if you've read it but there's this bit where he digs up his lovers coffin and recites to her that he should be there with her.

Interesting thought though. Thank the lord for cremation!

[FlawedByDesign]

At the time of death, people wish they had someone close to see them off. It is a very unfortunate circumstance that the 2 characters in your poem find themselves in peril and near death together. I think it creates a much more impacting moment. Like Selene said, it is almost like a "shadow Juliet and her ghostly romeo".

Good job.

[Undying Glory]

this is above and beyond superb in my opinion, think you should have posted this a lot sooner. awesome

[Tina Kline]

Well, they didn't die alone and they went off to where ever you go after death together but I'm sure it wasn't pleasant. You did a great job on this, I enjoyed it's creepiness.

[Iota]

you described how it would feel to be buried alive with someone else. Cant imagine that never want to experience it. However this was a good write with a nice rhyme to it. It had that flow that kept me reading more into it. nicely done.

[Charles]

Again, good analogy, taking the poem out of the realm of the ordinary. I'm not quite sure I'd want to be buried alive with anyone, though. The premise is interesting and a twist on the idea of suicide pacts. Keep writing.

[Dupree]

Rosie, this is a great poem. I love it. Its creative and very interesting for the reader. I adore this poem and look forward to reading more from you.

- Dupree

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

truly electric ~ darkly robed fable of an almost shadow Juliet and her ghostly romeo~

[SamBug]

I love the desperation of laying side by side and getting out even after death. It was great. good job! I greatly admire this poem.