Sink or Swim

Every once in a while I just write in no particular format, don't edit hardly anything and post it. Just raw thoughts. These came as I was sitting on my porch thinking all alone.

If I could capture this moment... this time of my life, it would probably look something like a statue of a broken man... blunt in hand and a beer in the other staring up at passing clouds that turn to a clear night and stars wondering where do I go from here? How do I move forward with life? Right now I'm slowly deteriorating like decaying wax in a candle jar and my life is melting before my eyes. I've got to get up and do something with myself instead of wondering how to categorize these thoughts of mine. Even the small ant that slowly crawls up my leg as I write this is chasing a bigger dream than I.... the ant thinks about reaching the top as I observe and wallow in self-pity and wonder what could have been. Well.... what can become? It’s time to get up and grasp a dream and start chasing with a full head of steam. I just hope I don't hit the ground too hard when I fall... but I will get back up and keep chasing that dream because in life we sink or swim and I've already sunk to the bottom... all that's left is to lightly tread back to some familiarity.

Author's Note

Let me know your thoughts please :)

Reviews

[Luna]

I love all the imagery, it's like I'm there with you, sinking except, well it's never too deep. I haven't reached the bottom, or I have and I'm okay with it? So what if we have dreams in life, and what is next for us after we've reached our goals, Life is pointless no matter how big or small our dreams are. Sinking in the void that is left by this life we had no word in is only natural, we don't know what we are doing here, it's an endless circle, dreaming and feeling like we could fly, then losing hope and sinking to the bottom of despair, either way, it's absurd.

[AaronFreitas]

You make a great point Luna :) Sometimes you are damned at the top and damned at the bottom... I guess it becomes about finding what makes you happy as a person... and that I am still searching for. Thanks for your review :)

[dan]

Aaron, As the old saying goes it's not how many times you fall but how many times you rise up again. You're a survivor, you've got that strength inside you, fortified by a nice fatty blunt (pass it over here real quick would ya?) A very strong write! take care...dan

[AaronFreitas]

Haha sharing is caring my friend :D Yeah it's easy to stay down but the hard part is fighting to move forward and thats what I'm working on :) Appreciate your support and review buddy :)

[ANTO]

I have to disagree with the ant thought Aaron. Its probably just trying to find its way back home and in a way you are like the ant, for you exhibit the same 'lost' feel in this fine and eloquent write.
You take the reader deep into your Self and you explain how you are going to change the place - I imagine you going,"...and over here, I'm planning on a fine atrium to watch the stars and get inspiration....and in this room I'm planning on having a hot tub fitted so I can let myself relax...etc,etc"

The only way is UP. Thank you for sharing this one.
All the best my friend.
:))

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much ANTO :D Appreciate the awesome review... I really liked the ant part of that story and it didn't come into mind until the ant actually started crawling up my leg while writing this into my phone. I appreciate your kind words... UP is the only way to continue :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

The write is very well penned. I've got no words of hope, or anything that would be uplifting, cause i have no source where that would come from. But keep writin. You do an awesome job with words my friend. Rating 100#

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much IM :) I am glad you like it

[B]

Waw Aaron you capture a moment of being lost so well

I know how this feels

Amazing

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much Nisreenaa :) I appreciate your support always :)

[D.T.]

Great job! Relatable emotions and true message! Excellent..(:

[AaronFreitas]

Thank you very much my friend... one of those days where I felt like just letting thoughts flow out my mind right into a document to post :) Appreciate your review :)

[Shea McWilliams]

I may be wrong but I feel like there are some quotation marks that could be added. Or maybe just some things italicized to emphasize them. I don't honestly know, it might just be me. I love this though. It's so truthful and, while depressing, kind of beautiful. Good job, keep writing!

[AaronFreitas]

I could probably play with it more but honestly I wrote this in a note in my phone... sent to my email and just cleaned up and posted. I kept it pretty much as raw as I could... I do one of these kind of writes every once in a while. It is definitely truthful but for me I do find the kind of weird beauty in it :) Appreciate your feedback and support Shea :) Don't forget send me read requests any time :)

[andrew mitchell]

Very well written Aaron and sometimes your story is my story and when I see others on porches I see the same story that you tell. Just to let you know> A nice write my friend

[AaronFreitas]

Thanks Andrew... I was driving yesterday and saw an old trailer home with a couch on the porch and laughed... then I thought man I am just as bad on my chair on my porch lol My happy days are coming I can feel it :) Appreciate your review buddy

[andrew mitchell]

You are welcome

[JayceeC]

Apathy is the killer of all things except numbness. For me it is the worst stage of depression because it leaves you with no fight. It sounds like you're on your way out. If you weren't, you wouldn't even be able to acknowledge you need a change. Being tired of being tired is actually a decent motivator. The ears are always open on this end.. (((hugs))) Jan

[AaronFreitas]

Being tired of being tired is definitely a motivator. Hoping some good changes are coming soon :) Summer is near and I'll have my girls more too so that helps :) Thank you Jan