Chapter One: Rose

About six months ago, my love of my life, Rose, died. It was something we knew that was going to happen but we could never stop. We did live on seemingly separate ends of the world which made it harder. She died when I was stuck back at home, her best friend; Katie had to tell me she passed away. Her death launched me into a six month depression that made me feel I would never get out of. All I could do was think of her. And all she ever wanted from me was to move on after her. Part of me never wanted to but I tried.

Nothing worked. So I thought I just couldn’t because I still loved her. My only solution was to go to Chicago and see her grave. I figured this would help move on a little faster. I was always afraid to actually go there. In my head, I thought if I did go, it could signal that I was over her or didn’t love her anymore. I really didn’t know when I should move on. But one day I worked up the courage and I booked a flight to go there.

None of my friends knew I was going there. None of her friends knew I was heading there either. I land after a long and slightly scary flight for me. The flight itself was fine but my nerves made it terrible. I just thought of her and having no clue what I would actually feel when I’m there standing over what’s physically left of her.

I take a cab to the cemetery. I don’t even think to stop to drop off my bag. The cab ride goes through the heart of Chicago but I barely glance at the giant stone buildings. The cab finally stops at the huge black iron gates of the cemetery and I don’t even ask the cab to stay. Probably a terrible idea but I have more major things on my mind.

I get out and see the grass move away from my feet as my weight presses against it. I walk a long distance into where I was told her grave lies. I glance at the unattained graves with forgotten names of people’s past.

That’s when I see it. Her name encrypted in stone. The sight of the whole thing chills me to the bone. This is what is left of her. I know for sure now that she is gone. I sit down in the soft green grass and just stare at the stone remains of the woman I love. I place my hand and rest in on her grave. Warm tears slide down my pale white face. I don’t cry normally. I cried only when the day she died and anytime I thought of her.

I hear footsteps behind me and I wipe my now cold tears. I look up to see a slightly familiar face. I speak.

“Katie?”

“Wayne?”

I get up and she hugs me. She asks me.

“Why are you here?”

“I had to see her. Why are you here?”

“My father is buried here.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“It’s been awhile but thanks. Why did you tell me you were coming?”

“I don’t know.”

“How long are you here?”

“Well I bought a one way ticket so I don’t know.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Not sure. I had no clear plan in mind. I was just playing everything by ear.”

“Well, let me take you to lunch today.”

“Alright.”

Author's Note

any good?

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Nice beginning... sad. Yet seems like there will be hope, maybe.
In this line did should be didn't:
"“It’s been awhile but thanks. Why did you tell me you were coming?”"

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I think you need to either continue the chapter so that it's revealed who Katie is, or explain in the chapter. Also, you begin the chapter in past tense ("The flight WAS fine") and then switch to present ("I take a cab"). I know you start off explaining what happened in the past, but somehow the transition was jarring. Also, Katie and Wayne's conversation was difficult to follow because you only specified a few times who was talking. These lines:

I get up and she hugs me. She asks me.

“Why are you here?”

should be in one paragraph.

This isn't bad, it just needs more action in real time, I think.

[Cherry Lai^_^♥~~]

I love it, but it's a bit to long.

[Ashley]

i like it thus far

[Viki Rachel]

I really liked it but the ending wasn't a good place to end. Maybe next time end with a cliffhanger. Ending with a cliffhanger=going out with a bang.

[VelvetRosetta]

It has good bones but it can use a bit of work...maybe less useage of a few words...example there, can be illiminated or changed in a few areas...
"I hear footsteps behind me and I cry my tears." I think you meant As I cry my tears.
And maybe you can elaborate a little on to why the two of your were seperated and maybe to even as where you were , just to build up the storyline somemore.