Ballade for Denial

Ballade for Denial

A Poem by mattavelli
"

Ballade

"
Should you attempt to ease my pain,
take warning, mine's a toxic brew,
with any spillage sure to stain
and burn its noxious way down through
those armored plates protecting you,
concealing that soft heart beneath,
a treat this beast will slowly chew...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

My dark mind's torn and hardly sane,
left barren since her love withdrew,
and charities would but profane
those memories I hold askew,
those cloudy thoughts of love so true,
those daggers hid in yearning's sheath
that slice when others misconstrue...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Go hang from your damned sugarchain
of coaxes meant to help renew.
There are no passions to regain.
There's nothing left here to imbue.
My shattered rose rejects your glue.
It's not a blossom for your wreath.
So, toss your thoughts of breaking through...
the hope's left stuck between sharp teeth.

And, if a doubt remains as to
the character that's underneath,
then tease my shell and watch me spew
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

© 2016 mattavelli


Author's Note

mattavelli
I let the idea of writing a ballade tumble around in my head for about a week, then wrote it all in one late night go. Why did a monster pop out?
Please let me know what you think.

Check out this link for an explanation of the ballade form and a lovely poem.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1619403/

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Reviews

impressed

I think I have some good stuff- but to make good stuff with boundaries... how the hell do you do it.
this is a tight piece

the rose and glue part was the only spot where i felt the flow change...
but it was a memorable visual and i liked it at the end (I'm really picky about people writing about another rose, but yours- was great.)

there is truth that people are out there to devour
bloodthirsty
headed for their horrible desire to destroy
or looking for some kind of revenge

you captured these images well
i think the first two sections are your strongest.



Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Hello, Bacchus. Thanks for reading and the feedback. :)
I rarely have anything worth writing .. read more
Amazing poetry you have here! Very well written.

Posted 4 Years Ago


mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thanks for reading. :)
I think you already know you knocked this one out of the park.
Great work.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Matching Socks

4 Years Ago

That's a good question. If you say 'will' then it makes it a definite statement. If you say 'would.. read more
mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thanks, Ana. :)
Matching Socks

4 Years Ago

Anytime. :)
It is evident that you know your way around crafting poetry: word choice, rhyme, and use of refrain, imagery. Among that strength, here is where I nitpick to conjure the illusion of constructive criticism, the line "Those cloudy thoughts of love so true" and it's subsequent rhyme feel weak compared to other rich lines. Wonderful poem, keep at it and you'll become a great wordsmith, I'm sure.

Posted 5 Years Ago


mattavelli

5 Years Ago

Hi, Osephyr, thanks for the feedback. :)
With those three lines -
"those memories I ho.. read more
Osephyr

5 Years Ago

I see what you mean and maybe I should have been more specific why I thought the line was weak; I me.. read more
mattavelli

5 Years Ago

Hi, Osephyr, thanks for the suggestions. I'll think on it a bit. :)
Great work, very impressed

Posted 5 Years Ago


mattavelli

5 Years Ago

Thank you, Bella.
ADORE THIS....

those armored plates protecting you,
concealing that soft heart beneath,
a treat this beast will slowly chew...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

AND....

My dark mind's torn and hardly sane,
left barren since her love withdrew,
and charities would but profane
those memories I hold askew,
those cloudy thoughts of love so true,
those daggers hid in yearning's sheath
that slice when others misconstrue...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

ANDDDD.....


Go hang from your damned sugarchain
of coaxes meant to help renew.
There are no passions to regain.
There's nothing left here to imbue.
My shattered rose rejects your glue.
It's not a blossom for your wreath.
So, toss your thoughts of breaking through...
the hope's left stuck between sharp teeth.

I rarely use the word incredible, but I am gonna unleash it here....

INCREDIBLE work!! I love the repeating stanza, quite powerful... The general sentiment of of the work is just pow...... I love power poetry, and you sure swung this one right in Miss, whoever's jaw... (metaphorically speaking of course)... Great work....

Posted 5 Years Ago


M. L. F.

4 Years Ago

I told Takeshi about this poem.. He will love it too.. :)
M. L. F.

4 Years Ago

The poet who never disappoints ever, he is published as well, is "David Lewis Paget"... His poetry t.. read more
mattavelli

4 Years Ago

Thanks, I'll check them out. :)
I haven't been reading stories lately.
Your flow and storytelling imagery................ Impeccable!

Posted 5 Years Ago


mattavelli

5 Years Ago

Thank you, Reflection. :)
Wow! Love's egress has a sharp bite! I love the fluidity of the poem, and I also love the reflection of hurt turned into anger. Beneath the choppy waves, I sense a lot of heartache buried deep within the silence. Very nicely penned.

Posted 5 Years Ago


mattavelli

5 Years Ago

Thank you, Linda. :)
I found this work very interesting, indeed. Very flowing and has very good imagery. Great work!

Posted 5 Years Ago


mattavelli

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much. :)
The honesty is quite ferocious. Just out of curiosity, why is the word denial in the title, in spite of its message sir?

Posted 5 Years Ago


mattavelli

5 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, Oydrin. :)
The poem is a description of someone doesn't want to accept a .. read more

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Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on September 14, 2015
Last Updated on April 21, 2016

Author

mattavelli
mattavelli

FL



About
LIFE IS A PARTY. DON'T BE A PINATA. ------------------- Hello, Welcome to My page. I'm Matt. I enjoy reading and writing poetry. If you have a poem that you'd like me to read, please let me know .. more..

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