aray's story

the alarm clock is ringing, it's 6 o'clock. I sit up and then turn the alarm off. get off from my bed and go to bathroom still yawning. i am go to the sink and wash my face with cold water. i look at my reflection at the mirror. really I don't know why I am is a light angel. I hate to keep peace and justice and I must respect to humans. huh.. boring... while i said that, there's appear a mark on my chest. this mark again.. a pair of white feathered wings, my wings. this mark always appear and disappear suddenly. i don't ask it to the other angel, maybe this is the mark that i am the true light angel, but I don't want to be light angel!! I opened my wings, I see my reflection while thinking and suddenly my phone ringing.

"yea, aray here.. what's wrong?" I picked up my phone

"I thought you're still sleeping. I bet you're now at bed" answered someone

"you wrong, dave. I am at bath room, want to take a bath"

"ooh.. good. you almost late, why you always come late??" said dave

"whatever me! and now I have a reason why I am late, because you calling me while I want to take a bath!!" i yelled

"ok then, go take a bath now. I don't want to get punish because of you. byee.." he said and close the conversation.

I put my phone down and then go to bathroom again and take a bath. after that I grabbed my usual special clothes, special because I can open my wings without tearing out my clothes, and wearing it. and then i flew from my window go to heaven hall and meet the other angel. huh.. must do same job again. go to observation room and watch what humans do and sometimes release my power to make the lucky or get punish, but it not depends on me, it depends on the humans. i like to give bad luck or punish to everyone and my partner will always blame me. hate that..!

"Hi" Dave went to me "today is our duty, are you ready?" he is my partner

"i can't say no" I said, lazily

"hey.. don't be too lazy or our work wont finish" 

"okay.." walked with dave go to the observation office

"aray..!" suddenly an angel soldier call me "our lord call you to his room"

"me? really??" I am afraid to go there. as far as I know I never get a call to his room

"what is his fault?? he never call to his room before" ask dave to the soldier

"how i know.. i just do my job. come on, aray" the soldier pull me and i follow him

we walk along the hall and go to the long alley and at the end of the alley, there is the angel lord room. the soldier just stand there, and i must go inside. with mixed feelings of fear and curiosity, I opened the door for the first time.

Author's Note

sorry for this story is short. i still adding more description..
and sorry if i use wrong word or my grammar is messed up
enjoy the story~

Reviews

[FrancescaX]

dont worry about grammar for now. concentrate on what you are putting together.
if it is possible, i'll see if i can help you edit it so you wont worry so much.

[Irvette Dauphine]

thanks :D

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

Very interesting, more interesting than the chapter before.

I'm getting addicted to this series X3

Don't worry about the grammar so much, time will do the job :) People have a knack for learning you know

[Irvette Dauphine]

thanks~

[Anonymous Girl]

I will read the rest of the story. Seems interesting. Keep writing :)

[Irvette Dauphine]

thanks~

[Anonymous Girl]

No problem :)

[Andile]

you at leat making an effort to learn english it was hard to understand due to the grammar but i love your perserverance and effort and for that here is my review

[Irvette Dauphine]

yea.. i always trying to do my best.. :)
btw, thanks~

[Andile]

you are welcome

[Serenity Faith]

it's really good. Hard to understand sometimes but it's okay. As you progress with the English language so will your writing it in. Other than that, it's interesting. And to me that's the key part of a story ^_^

[Irvette Dauphine]

oh yea.. i just realized there somethings wrong..
time to fix it...

[Ruby]

Its really good

[Irvette Dauphine]

thanks~

[Ruby]

your welcome :) lol

[Irvette Dauphine]

already fixed it :)

[Ruby]

ok I read it later but :)

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

Hum... There's alot of words missing (ignoring the grammar errors) I think you did great at this ^_^
Keep on writing :3
100/100

[Irvette Dauphine]

i'll fix it..
thanks~

[Rhianne Ney]

You're right it did mess up the story but I'll try to patiently point it out to you:
i-I
i am sit up-I sit up
still yawn-still yawning
really,don't know-really I don't know
why i am is-why I am
i must to respect to- I must respect
human-humans
i am don't want- I don't want
i am see-I see
i open-I opened
i am pick-I picked
answer someone-answered someone.
you alomost-You're almost
i have reason-I have a reason
you calling-you're calling
the second said dave can also be he said
grab-grabbed
tear-tearing
fly-flew
human do-humans do
sometime-sometimes
give lucky-make them lucky
"hy" dave go to me-"Hi," Dave went to me
don't too lazy-don't be too lazy
walk with-walked with
go to- omit go
as far i never get call to his room-As far as I know I never get a call from his room
with my fear feeling and curious-With mixed feelings of fear and curiosity
i open_I opened
Some are need to be capitalized... sorry if I entered too much in your chapter...
Your grammar can still improve, Irvette sometimes this is not an issue as long as it wont mess up the story....
I love Aray because he's quite the bad boy lazy type...
Good write! hoping for next chappie...
Keep writing don't let my review put you on lower spirits...
I've received a somewhat negative review and that got me depressed but I joined to get reviews so I have to accept corrections...
Sorry, for the long review (;

[Irvette Dauphine]

oooopss.. sorry if i make so many fault..
because i working it at night.. i fix it this morning then..
thank you to point it and fix it :)
and thanks to reading ^_^

[Rhianne Ney]

You're welcome.. sorry for the long review ): I don't want to sound imposing]

[Irvette Dauphine]

that's ok :)