Chapter Eight

             I’m nervous. Will plans on hugging me this morning. I hope it’s as natural as he makes it sound.

            On my phone, I’m looking for inspiration. I haven’t taken any pictures since Monday. That’s a long time for me.

            “Yo!”

            I look up and see Will heading toward his locker. He’s got his duffel. I meet him there.

            “Hi, beautiful.”

            “Hi.”

            It is natural. He lifts his arms to go around my waist and I rise slightly onto my tip toes and my arms go around his neck. I feel him smiling on my shoulder.

            Will always struck me as physically fit and active but with his body pressed up against mine it was confirmed. His chest feels wide and strong. I can feel it expand for every breath that we stay like this. His stomach is hard and welcoming. But his arms are what stand out to me. They were muscular and flex although we’re only hugging. They make me feel like maybe he can take care of me; as long as I allow him to.

            I feel him letting up which means the hug is over, regrettably. 

            “Was that so bad?” he jokes.

            “It was great. What kind of cologne is that?”

            “Usher for Men.”

            “I like it.”

            “Me too.”

            He closes his locker and something about the way he turns piques my photographic interest.

            “Hey. Walk ahead of me. I wanna take a few pictures.”

            “Alright.”

            Our school mascot is the panther. Our school colors are black and blue. The walls are painted in halves, the top is blue and the bottom is black. It’s not as depressing as it sounds. We have two floors with very high ceilings. At the height of the walls, windows line the very top all the way around every wall in the building. It makes for some good lighting lessening the extremeness of the dark colored walls.

            Today, Will is wearing black denim jeans, a blue t-shirt, a blue New York fitted hat, and, if I’m not mistaken, all blue Nike Air Yeezys. He hung his blue hoodie up in his locker. I wonder if he purposefully wore the school colors to show Coach P how enthusiastic he is about joining the team.

            Anyhow, I get some decent shots of Will walking quite nonchalantly like he’s aware of how I want the pictures to turn out. I also get some shots of him looking and kind of looking. Those will be for me to keep.

            “How’s the photo shoot going?”

            “I’m done.”

            He lets me catch up then some unseen force has me taking his hat from his head and placing it on mine.

            “That’s a good look for you,” he says pleased at my initiative.

            He grabs my hand and we continue on to the gym room where he holds the door open for me.

            “Coach!”

            I have to call to him because he’s out on the indoor field drilling his QB.

            He says something to Julian and comes over to us.

            “Let me do all the talking.”

            He squeezes my side which causes me to nearly jump out of my skin. I hear him grimace when I elbow him in the stomach.

            “Good morning, princess.”

            “Don’t call me that. Good morning, daddy.”

            “How was your night?”

            “It was fine.”

            “I saw Coach Daye stop you yesterday when you left here.”

            “Yeah. He asked me to join the team again.”

            “And?”

            “Not you, too.”

            “I just want you to be great.”

            “I will be.”

            “Not as great as you could be. You’re the brains behind those brothers. Don’t sale yourself short, kid.”

            I nod my understanding.

            “So, what do we have here?”

            “This is William Slaughter. The wide receiver I was telling you about.”

            Coach holds out his hand to shake Will’s hand and boy, do they. I guess it’s a guy thing. As I’m rolling my eyes, I catch Julian looking at me. I don’t know what he’s looking at until I remember that I have Will’s hat on. I’m about to take it off but Will and I are more today than we were yesterday and I need Julian to understand that from a distance and up close.

            “I hope you brought something to run some drills in.”

            “I did.”

            “Then change and get out there. I’m giving you ten minutes to change and warm up a bit. Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!” he shouts clapping his hands.

            Will jogs onto the track and shrugs out of his back pack. He begins to unbutton his pants because, I’m assuming, he has shorts on under them. I can’t take my eyes off of him. He’s basically getting naked in front of me. I hope I’m not drooling. He steps out of the jeans, unzips the duffel and pulls out a pair of blue, black, and white Reebok Zigslashes. Yes, I know my shoes. And I know that those shoes are basketball shoes then again, Peyton Manning is the face of them so I guess not entirely.

            I’m impressed. I’m convinced that he is a real athlete and not one that just talks about being an athlete. He pulls his blue t-shirt off over his head and folds it up with his jeans. He had on a white t-shirt under the blue one. I catch a look of some form of inking on his left shoulder when the white shirt tries to come off with the blue one.

            He gives me one last look. He’s not smiling. He’s not anything. He’s in serious mode. He wants to make a good impression on Coach P while showing off in front of me and defacing Julian simultaneously.

            I watch uneasily as he and Julian acknowledge each other. That’s something.

            Coach runs a series of tests: T Test, 3km Time Trial, Vertical Jump, Speed Test (especially), 3RM Test, Body fat, and Side Ramp.  That takes a half hour and I can see that Will’s starting to feel it. He’s not tired, he’s just hitting his stride.

            He’s fast. I like watching him run. He runs on a slant which is a tell-tale sign of running backs and receivers. His head is down so he can reach the full capacity at his disposal. His arms pump like crazy and his muscles bulge with each effort. He’s also sweating now.

            At the end of the tests, Coach tells him to cool off and get ready to run some catching drills with Julian. I give him an inconspicuous thumbs up because I know that he’s passed the first test. Coach would never tell him to get ready to work with Julian if he didn’t think he wasn’t fast enough, which he is. If he wasn’t, he would’ve told Will to pack up.

            After a five minute rest, he goes out there and explains what he wants to see happen. He places markers all over the field letting Will know where he needs to run first, next and so forth. As the QB, Julian will be throwing the ball to Will and it’s Will’s job to be there. There are a lot of markers on the field but from what I’ve seen from Will so far, I feel confident that he’ll do well.

            When Coach blows his whistle, the drill begins.

            Julian launches the football down the field and Will catches it. He’s fast. He catches the next and the next. He even makes it in time to catch the show passes. Julian’s good at playing his position. He’s been doing it so long that it’s second nature to him. I’m beginning to think that this could all go off without a hitch when Julian starts to throw the long passes short and the short passes long. He’s overthrowing Will on purpose, to sabotage his chances of getting on the team.

            Coach blows the whistle before the drill is over and he chews Julian out. If there’s one thing Coach P isn’t, it’s stupid. He knows football like a flower knows dirt. He can see a pretense from a mile away. That’s why he almost gets thrown from every game. He can’t stand blind refs.

            He dismisses Will who in turn exchanges looks with Julian before he gathers his things and heads to the locker room for a shower.

            I go wait in the hallway. Did my wearing Will’s hat cause Julian to do that? I really don’t want to be the deciding factor when it comes to whether or not the team is going to be able to function properly. He hasn’t grown up much since the last time we were friends. He was always jealous then, too. I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew better. But I can’t let a boy who hurt me and wants to come back dictate what I do with my love life. Julian will just have to get used to seeing Will and me together. Will was right about what he said last night. He was bound to find out eventually. The timing could have been better but one can never foretell what will happen. The future can’t be controlled.

The kids are slowly making their way in. I’ve got my back to the boys’ locker room so I don’t see who it is that bumps me so hard that I have to stumble forward just to keep my balance.

            “I see Kendall hasn’t learned to walk yet either.”

            I meet Phylicia’s eyes head on and look away first as usual.

            “So let me get this right. You haven’t learned to walk. You haven’t learned to talk. And I’m positive you still haven’t learned to satisfy a guy yet.”

            I swallow hard. I don’t like Phylicia. I don’t like Phylicia at all. She reminds me why every so often. Like at this very moment. She makes me feel weak and insignificant. She’s so much more outspoken then I am. I don’t believe I can just say what I want to her. I don’t want any trouble and if I were to speak up to her, which I wouldn’t, I’d definitely be asking for trouble. She’s intimidating and she always wins whenever our paths cross. The war of words is not my strongest suit with her. I’d much rather just slug her.

            “Oh, well. And that’s why you still don’t have a-

            “Hey.”

            I turn to see Will behind me. He’s got on his clothes again and he smells great. I want to give him more since I was the source of what happened in there between him and Julian but all I can manage is a frail smile.

            “You ready to go?” he asks lethargically putting an arm around my shoulders.

            I want to kiss him because his presence alone has shut Phylicia all the way up.

            “Mm hm.”

            “Wait. I’m sorry. Who’s this?” he inquires indicating Phylicia.

            “No one.”

            He shrugs and leads me away. I can’t believe I just said that.

            I’m strong when I’m with Will.

            That is until we walk into the class with his arm around me and everyone stares at us like two

zombies walked in instead. I shrug Will’s arm off and take my seat.

 

            She doesn’t meet my eyes when I take my seat. We’re taking it slow so it’s not my place to be upset. But am I just supposed to accept this? Do I just allow her to cut off all affection when people are around? She showed me some love in front of Julian and that’s all that should matter, right?

            This is day three. I’ll just take it in stride. She’s my girlfriend and she’s made it perfectly clear that she wants to makes this work with me. I trust that. I, of course, want it to work so I ain’t gon’ trip. This is only the beginning.

            Right after class, Devin comes up to me.

            “Aw, man. When did this happen?”

            “Last night on the phone.”

            “You got her number? That’s classified info on the Kendall front.”

            “Yeah, but she shrugged me off.”

            “Don’t worry about that. That’s just classic Kendall. She’ll get over it along with the rest of us and then yall can do yall thing unfazed.”

            I look at him sideways. This little chat has helped more than I initially thought it would. I feel better and more optimistic.

            “SoHo…The boy who came, who saw, who conquered,” he says with an arm around my shoulders while watching his other hand glide across nothing in the air as he makes this declaration in my honor.

            I nudge him off jokingly with my elbow.

            “I gotta get to class, bruh. Ah, Felix. Wait up.”

            He falls easily into another conversation like he does this for a living. He’ll be someone’s right hand man one day. He may already be now but in the future, he’ll get paid for it.

 

            I feel bad about the way I treated Will but he did say on my time. That’ll be my defense when I see him at lunch.

            He just left right after class. He didn’t wait for me but I did see him talking to Devin. That could mean just about anything. I mean, who knows what he was saying to Will.

            I’m so concerned with what my boyfriend is concerned about that I don’t see Phylicia heading for me. I also don’t exactly see her until I’m bending down to pick up my books. Her red pumps stop in front of me and I look up then.

            “This is my favorite view of you; kneeling at my feet.”

            I don’t have time for this so I try to ignore her as best I can and continue to gather my things. I’m guessing my ignorance to her heckling isn’t to her liking because she kicks one of my books. I impatiently watch it slide until it lands under a red high top converse.

            “Is there a problem?”

            Kelsey picks up my book and struts over.

            “This doesn’t involve you,” Phylicia says a bit subdued by her presence.

            “Sure it does. And my, I must say that you are looking especially nice today.”

            Phylicia takes a step back while Kelsey helps me to my feet.

            “What is your problem?”

            “My problem is you bothering Kendall. Now, let me make myself crystal, if I hear that you’ve been giving her trouble again, I will end you.”

            “Whatever. You’re going to make me late with this garbage.”

            She looks at me behind Kelsey.

            “Keep it moving,” Kelsey prodes.

            When Phylicia is gone, she turns to me.

            “I get it, Kendall. You’re dating the new kid. But there’s no reason we can’t be friends, right?” she says handing me my book.

            “I got your back.”

            The bell rings.

            “Thanks for making me late,” she says with a smile and heads off.

            I manage to slide into class unseen. Julian ignores me at first which is what I would’ve preferred but then I guess he decides he wants to get to the bottom of “this”.

            “So, was that little incident this morning some kind of joke or something?”

            “Incident?”

            “His hat on your head. Back when you used to wear my hat it meant that you was my girl.”

            “I was never your girl, remember?”

            He exhales deeply.

            “Well, everyone knew you were something to me.”

            “Yeah. Well, I’m looking for someone who knows I’m his girlfriend, not just ‘something to him’.”

            “I told you. I wanted to make you that. I wanted to make you my girlfriend.”

            “And I’m just supposed to trust myself to you? Again? No, I’m not. That’s called being stupid. And everyone knows that stupid is something that I’m not.”

            “You’re not the only one in Honors Trig, Kendall.”

            “Would you two like to share with the class this private discussion that is more important than my lecture?”

            I look up into my teacher’s face, “No, Mr. Rogers, it’s not. I’m sorry for-

            “Well, I’d still like to hear what was so important.”

            Oh, crap.

            “Well?”

            “We were just talking about how in love with her I am and how she’s breaking my heart by dating someone else over me.”

            Double oh, crap.

            Everyone in class is staring and whispering. His announcement has set off a chain reaction of chatter, texting, facebooking and who knows what else. This will be all over school before class is over. Fantastic.

            “I’m disappointed in you, Kendall. I’d expect this from a, well, a jock but not a top student.”

I look away ashamed that I let Julian pull me into this during class. I make it a point to stay focused and to participate for the remainder. Afterward, I stop at Mr. Rogers’ desk.

“Mr. Rogers, I’m really sorry for the disruption. I usually keep to myself so that this kind of thing doesn’t happen. Please, don’t call my father. I-

“Don’t worry, Kendall. I know today’s occurrence was out of the ordinary for you so you needn’t worry about my contacting your father. I didn’t plan on it. I just hope that you don’t plan on making this behavior a habit.”

“No, sir.”

“Good. Thank you for speaking with me. Get to class.”

“Thank you, Mr. Rogers.”

Thank God for reasonable instructors.

Out in the hallway, freaking Julian is waiting for me.

“I’m actually glad you waited.”

“I’ll bet.”

“I want to make sure you understand what I’m about to say and understand it good. You embarrassed me in class.”

“I remember a time when you loved being seen with me.”

“How narcissistic of you. It wasn’t about being seen with you, it was about being in love with you. But I’m not anymore. That’s over. You may have finally come around but I won’t be coming around ever again. There’s someone else now and his name is Will. He’s my now. Do you hear me? Will is my now.”

He nods tentatively, “Yeah.”

Out of his mouth is understanding but his eyes still show indifference. He doesn’t take my proclamation seriously.

“We’ll see.”

“What do you mean? I said I get it. I get it.”

“You say a lot of things.”

I walk away because, unfortunately, I like to have the last word in an argument.

My next few classes are filled with thoughts of exactly what I said to Julian. Will is my now? What was I implying? I know that I like Will. I know that despite us actually putting a label on “us”, we are, in fact, a couple. But it sounded like I was saying that he’s pretty much the center of my world and that’s not how it is at all. If anything, my brothers are. Will’s still fairly new to me so any indication that he’ll be that important to me has yet to be seen.

Or has it? He’s forced me out of my solitude. He’s gotten me to do many things that I didn’t think I’d do until I was in Chicago and far away from my father. I didn’t think I’d have a boyfriend again until I was about nineteen. Will was already so important to me after three days. He gave me courage. But his presence didn’t give me the courage I needed to stand up to my father. I’m beginning to sound like one of those girls who makes everything about herself. Then again, I may start to think or talk about one thing but it constantly leads me back to him; the one man who didn’t covet me thoroughly. Or maybe it’s that he did covet me, only it was to such an extreme degree.

As I’m pulling my last book from my locker, Phylicia slams my door closed and smashes my hand.

“Your girlfriend can’t be around all the time.”

She smirks and keeps it moving. She didn’t even stop. She just made it apart of her destination.

At lunch, I’m more concerned about my hand then I am the club sandwich in front of me.

“What’s wrong?”

Will comes and sits next to me instead of across like he’s done the past couple days.

“My hand hurts.”

He grabs it and starts to rub and massage it. It feels good and he’s so innate at this physical contact thing that I start to think about that instead.

“How is it now?” he asks after kissing it.

“Better,” I reply blushing an out-of-this-worldly pink.

“What happened?”

“It got smashed in my locker.”

“That sucks.”

He’s getting his lunch out so he doesn’t notice the look I get from Julian when he walks pass. I hold my own against him. My opinion of him hadn’t been that high recently so it’s not hard to fend him off.

“Hey, Will. I’m sorry about what I did in first period.”

“Don’t sweat it. One day at a time, right?”

“But I know it hurt you.”

“Yeah. But I know you didn’t mean it. You were just trying to protect yourself which is the norm for you. You’re not used to protecting someone else’s feelings, too.”

He bites into his sandwich like he didn’t just say something profound.

“I still want to make it up to you. There’s this great exhibit at the Sonoma County Museum in Santa Rosa. We should go this weekend. I’ll drive, of course.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He’s giving me one of those smiles again. Like he sees something I don’t or can’t see in myself.

“What now?” I inquire.

“Nothing. You’re great.” He tugs on a strand of my hair and then kisses my nose. “I’m starving.”

I nudge his neck with my head and when he smiles at me I feel…like a million bucks. I’ve never felt so cliché in my life but I don’t know how else to describe it.

“I think its official now.”

“Me, too,” he agrees.