Eclipse

Eclipse

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Primetime: An original form, created by Charlyne “Char” Zurick © 06/24/2010

"





Eclipse

This moment and forever,
hopes buried of together;
of ocean tides washing sand, 'neath our feet.

Away with wondrous semblance 
of all thy sweet remembrance;
those starry nights filled with our mingled heat.

Every bit I shall forget,
‘tis hard, I must now admit…
when my lonely hand strays beneath the sheet.

Those wint'ry days…coffee sips,
lives o’ershadowed by eclipse;
our love, I'm afraid, remains incomplete...







© 2017 Dr. YumnaKay



Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
A new form which Richard taught me as my learning experience continues 😊

My Review

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Featured Review

While I'm not familiar with this form, your rhyme & rhythm feels natural & well-structured. It seems like this message blends the styles of a more formal Elizabethan language mixed with a more casual everyday imagery. Good job for a learning experience!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you for this nice review over my little piece, BG. Truly appreciate your liking 😊



Reviews

While I'm not familiar with this form, your rhyme & rhythm feels natural & well-structured. It seems like this message blends the styles of a more formal Elizabethan language mixed with a more casual everyday imagery. Good job for a learning experience!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you for this nice review over my little piece, BG. Truly appreciate your liking 😊
Really nice job Yumna! It's a heart whelming piece!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you for the appreciation, Mr. Writer. Means a lot 😊
Mr.Writer

1 Year Ago

No problem! :)
I really enjoyed reading this Yumna, I thought it was purely elegant. It painted such a beautiful picture :) Nicely done as always

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Lol I'm sure yours is good! Don't underestimate your talents, Kesha 😊
Kesha

1 Year Ago

Thank you ;)
Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

You're welcome 😇😇
Love the words that bring the water to my mind,
well said with your pen!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Josie! I'm glad you liked it 😊
Josie E. Cook M. A.

1 Year Ago

You are welcome!
this poem flows like a sigh! Amazing work, and your rhyme scheme is flawless, and the "tis, and thee," add a timeless quality to a personal yet universal theme. In short, your poem is honest, true, beautifully written and added to my favorites

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Mary! I'm so glad and humbled that this piece touched you. Truly appreciate your kind wor.. read more
Away with wondrous semblance
of all thy sweet remembrance;
those starry nights filled with our mingled heat.

I loved this lines. they have a greater intensity and weight

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, boygene borice! I'm glad you liked it 😊😊
I think it was the naughtiness that I enjoyed here more than anything. That and the natural flow.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Um I'm glad someone enjoyed that part too 😛
Thank you, Ken! I appreciate your words 😊.. read more
This is so well written (had to refer the dictionary quite a few times :) ) Amazing write!


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Sonakshi! Happens with me too ;)
I'm glad you liked it :)
Sonakshi Arora

1 Year Ago

My pleasure!
WOW..... I've never read a poem so deep and simply beautiful. You know what, I'm in love with your poem.
Such a beautiful write!😊

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Anjali! I'm very much humbled and glad that you liked this piece. Truly appreciate your k.. read more
Honest and true words shared dear friend.
"Those wint'ry days…coffee sips,
lives o’ershadowed by eclipse;
our love, I'm afraid, remains incomplete...!"
I understand the above lines. Sometime coffee and memories. A shadow of some kind of peace. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote





Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

1 Year Ago

I agree with you. Thank you for liking, Coyote! It means a lot to me :)
Coyote Poetry

1 Year Ago

You are welcome dear friend.

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Added on March 14, 2017
Last Updated on November 6, 2017


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Pakistan



About
Just someone trying to blend in with the writing world and still trying to hold my own. P.S I do not respond to read requests unless they particularly appeal to me in some way, neith.. more..

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