No Use In Crying

If you haven't wanted to kill me by now LOL you can read this too, its pretty similar but the end is kinda important to read. :)

No Use In Crying

After Christian got his reminder call at eleven that check out time was at noon, he took a quick shower in order to put himself back together again. As the sensation of the steaming hot water began calming him down some, he remembered a long time ago when his father used to say "there's no use in crying," and his father had been absolutely right. So after all the feelings of angst so ruthlessly escaped, he wiped the tears away and decided that after he left The Plaza hotel, he would try yet again to improve his life. First there was the setback of his parents death which still haunted him, and now Derek's, but instead of hating the world, and hating himself for it, he decided he owed it to them to live, and make them proud. They'd been wronged by having their lives taken away and they didn't need to be wronged again by Christian not taking advantage of being alive.

After stepping out of the shower, he caught sight of his mangled arm before he put his shirt back on. The self mutilated cuts that Hallie thankfully hadn't noticed were deeply engraved into his skin and looked as if they would never fade away, but he knew with time they would heal, and so would he. His mind blurred back to when he was sitting on the bathroom floor of his home hacking away at himself and remembered that even though he must have been absolutely out of his mind to do something like that, he never intentionally put too much pressure on the vein, and that had to mean something. It meant that he never wanted to die, he just wanted to punish himself, for all the things he felt responsible for. The cutting had become a habit over the tough week of Derek's loss, he always formed some bad habit to keep his mind off of things, like cutting, doing drugs, fighting, and maybe this time he'd make a habit of kicking a*s. Not physically, (unless someone dared to mess with him), but kicking a*s in life. He wasn't sure if that meant getting rich off his a*s or what, but he was looking forward to find out. He took one last look in the bathroom mirror, still unsure of who was looking back at him, but knew that one day he would be great.


When he opened the front door, he jumped at the white robed curly-haired angel slumbering against the stucco wall. He couldn't believe she was still here, interrupting his quest to have a good life, still here to confuse him even more. He became deeply plagued with confusion by the reaction he had to just touch her, remove the ringlets away from her eyes, and by the fury boiling within him that she hadn't yet left. He kept taking a step forward and backwards, wavering on what to do at this point.

It had to have almost been noon, and if he didn't check out soon then the hotel would charge him for another night, and he had already spent practically all of his cash to please her. He looked down at that ostentatious yellow ring, and began hating himself all over again. How could she say yes to David? After the time they spent together over the holidays, after he took hours to decorate their castle in Christmas lights, how could she even sleep with her so called boyfriend, fiance, whatever, after the numerous times she cheated? Better yet how could David sleep with her? And look past everything as if it never happened? It was one fucked up relationship, and Christian knew it was fucked up long before he came in the picture.

He would have loved to believe her claim about calling it off with David, but he knew that they were probably a better match anyway. That something would stop them, either her parents, his lack of money, or her fickle infidelity between him and David. If she cheated on David did that mean she would cheat on him? There were too many questions like that, and as much as his heart was begging him to wake her up and begin a new life with her, instead he walked down the hallway towards the elevator, punching the button impatiently, trying his hardest not to look back. When the elevator door dinged open, inviting him to come inside, he couldn't help himself, and took a glance at sleeping beauty only using his eyes.

"I love you," he whispered.

Even though he was several feet down the hall, she stirred as if she could feel him saying the words, rather than hear them.

With that Christian quickly entered the elevator, and pressed the button to the lobby, with the doors quickly closing. As much as he tried to fight the off, tears came down as quickly as the elevator passed each floor. His father was right, there was no use crying, but there was no use in trying to hold back the tenacious hold of heartache either. It came out one way or another.

�..

Hallie woke up to the sounds of the maids loudly vacuuming the room. She peered inside to see that Christian was nowhere to be found. She stood up and peered into the room, her clothes still laying on the ground but his nowhere to be found.

"Excuse me, have you seen a man about six foot four leave? He has dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He was staying here, I'm not sure if he left or not," Hallie's voice trailed off in embarrassment.

"Can I help you?" A stern and annoyed voice startled her from behind. The familiar manager of the hotel stood before her, she'd known him since she was twelve, maybe he could tell her where Christian went.

"Yes I was looking for someone, well the guy that purchased this hotel room. Did he check out or something?"

"Oh trust me he's long gone, he's never coming back, worthless guy," the manager muttered.
"Excuse me?" Hallie spat out. He sounded just like her damn dad, why was he calling someone he didn't know worthless. "Don't you remember me? I'm Hallie Harris my father is Edward Har-."

"Yes, yes I remember you quite well. Your parents need to be here when you try to get a hotel room for free. The man who got this room did not get it rightfully, he had the key and just let you in at three o clock in the morning. The hotel would appreciate it if you would gather your things and leave."

Had a key? How the hell would Christian have a key? She knew he stole from time to time but a freaking key to the Plaza Hotel suite.

"I'm-sorry," she stammered. "I didn't know he just took the room illegally. I can pay for it-,"

"You're father already did," the manager interrupted. "As for the man you seemed to get along so well with he's gone thanks to you. Please take haste to leave, thank you," he ended the conversation without waiting for a response.

Great, she drove him away again. Why did he go so far to get her a hotel room without really paying for it? Even if he was in trouble did he really have to just leave without explanation? Hallie did as the manager said and gathered her things and left. Boy was she going to hear it from her father, she wondered if he knew about Christian, hopefully no one would find out. She shook her head at herself realizing that Christian was right. They could never be together because here she was trying to hide the fact that they were. Then again it was pretty difficult to be proud of a relationship when one person was always taking off when things got rough.

Disappointed at how things had turned out yet again Hallie decided she'd go back home and try and forget this. She could move on with her life and pretend this never happened. Couldn't she? Luckily enough for her, what was about to happen in her life next would force her to.