The Reader - Guide

Help with myths/maps

The world of Emmeline and Newt can be a bit confusing so I'm adding a map and glossary of the kingdoms to help. Ignore the spelling mistake on the map (Ibenily should be Ibeni). 

* - rare

Silver Kingdom Villages 

Quigon 

Patron Goddess: Quiglin (Goddess of Wildlife) 

Blessed: speak to animals/shapeshift*

Cursed: animals kill them/stuck in animal form* 

Status to Kingdom - Loyalist 

Waelia 

Patron Goddess: Wylia (Goddess of Fire and Heat)

Blessed: immune to cold/fire magic*

Cursed: always hot/no crops/everything overheats

Status to Kingdom - Indifferent 

Nelith

Patron Goddess: Lithby (Goddess of Water)

Blessed: can breathe underwater/water magic*

Cursed: prone to drowning/can't swim

Status to Kingdom - Rebel 

Ibeni

Patron Goddess: Ibenily (Goddess of Knowledge)

Blessed: extremely smart/can see into the PAST*

Cursed: no common sense/really dumb 

Status to Kingdom - Loyalist 

Elyviel

Patron Goddess: Elyviella (Goddess of Health and Life)

Blessed: can heal people/immortal**

Cursed: die easily/won't heal

Status to Kingdom - Loyalist 

Golla

Patron Goddess: Gollare (Goddess of Darkness)

Blessed: can control shadows/invisibility* 

Cursed: disappear often/afraid of the dark

Status to Kingdom - Indifferent 

Green Kingdom Villages 

Zachryose

Patron Goddess: Zachryona (Goddess of Plants)

Blessed: can control plants 

Cursed: plants always die/plants try to kill them 

Status to Kingdom - Loyalist

Maconia 

Patron Goddess: Maconil (Goddess of Sky)

Blessed: can float/fly*

Cursed: afraid of heights/wind hates them

Status to Kingdom - Indifferent 

Faroshin

Patron Goddess: Farosha (Goddess of Cold)

Blessed: immune to heat/ice magic* 

Cursed: always cold/water freezes/bad crops

Status to Kingdom - Rebel

Rackelofft

Patron Goddess: Racke (Goddess of Family)

Blessed: large families/can make clones*

Cursed: small families/anger issues*

Status to Kingdom - Loyalist 

Layene

Patron Goddess: Layenyl (Goddess of Strength)

Blessed: super strong/can empower others*

Cursed: weak

Status to Kingdom - Loyalist 

Dinrali

Patron Goddess: Dixral (Goddess of Death)

Blessed: can speak to the dead/immortal**

Cursed: die early/ can speak to the dead* 

Status to Kingdom - Indifferent 

Author's Note

Map attached as cover pic

Reviews

[JayG]

This shouldn't be the first thing a reader sees. It's not something a reader will study, or even read, so all this does is inconvenience the reader you hope to impress enough that they will commit to reading it. If the reader can't tell who and what they are, by how they behave and people treat them, what good will this do. By the time they need it they'll have forgotten having read this.

• The world of Emmeline and Newt can be a bit confusing so...

Were this a submission to an agent or publisher, this would probably generate a rejection with nothing more read. Nothing in the story should be confusing. The writing must provide context for the reader, either implied or specified.

Sol Stein put it well with, “A novel is like a car—it won’t go anywhere until you turn on the engine. The “engine” of both fiction and nonfiction is the point at which the reader makes the decision not to put the book down. The engine should start in the first three pages, the closer to the top of page one the better.”

But in this, the first thing you tell the reader is that the story will be confusing. Then, you provide several pages of character background that you expect the reader to memorize in order to follow the action.

A reader expects the story to begin with story, not "Here, study this so the story won't confuse you. You may have the best story ever written, but if the reader turns away before they read it you wasted the effort of writing it.

So open with story. Make the reader react, and care. Sol Stein hit it right. Start the engine early.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[A.L.]

Ok, so here's the deal: I've been working through the book you sent me, and it's taking me a bit of time (I'm only on chapter 4) because I'm trying to comprehend the material. For the time being until I finish, my writing will probably be of the same quality.
I am not going to go back and edit/rewrite most of this story until after I finish the book, so don't expect me to change everything right away. It's going to take me a long time to finish and reflect on the Techniques book.
Also, the guide for the story is only the first thing you see right now because eventually it will be put at the end of the story, but for now it makes sense to keep it at the beginning so I don't have to keep moving it around.
Another thing: I get you're trying to help me be a better writer and all, but I'm still technically a kid. I just finished my freshman year of highschool so right now I'm just writing for fun - not to make money.
I'm sorry if I offend you in any way, but if you could please hold off on the criticism until I finish reading the material you provided.
Thanks.

[JayG]

I'm not banging on you, just commenting on something I felt worth noting, from a publisher's viewpoint, and why it matters.