Chapter 17

Back at the base, I avoided everyone even Raelan, I knew that she wanted to talk but I needed some time before we do. I was in my room watching an old home video when she came in, her curiosity reaching its limit of patience.

"I don't want to talk right now Rae," I told pausing the video.

 It was Teague's first birthday party, I reached the part when we stood for the family photo, mum pulled Cindy, Raiden, Jared and their parents in since they were also considered family. Raiden was standing next to me, his hand on the small of my back, he was visiting from college and I was happy to see him, however, that was also the day we got into the fight about Nuca and ended our friendship.

"I've let you sulk enough for the day Wick, it's almost ten and you haven't eaten since we came back from your house, I know that your reality is breaking but please you need to take care of yourself, I hate to see you like this, like..." she paused.

I turned to face her, her eyes clouded by thoughts of the past, she was remembering the day I tried to end it all. I got up and hugged her, pulling her down to the bed, I squeezed her hand.

"I'm fine well fine as I could be, but I'm not in that place anymore, I've moved past that thanks to you, so don't worry okay, I'm not going anywhere," I told her softly gazing into her eyes.

When she relaxed, I took some deep breaths, "I didn't know for sure if it was Luke but I had just made a speculation," I told her.

"Like I said earlier, I wanted revenge, so I snuck into one of their bases and stole their files, I saw an email stating that the job was done, when I dug deeper, I found out that someone was given the task of killing my father since he survived, knowing this I hacked the hospital records and their security system gaining access to their cameras, I combed through all its footage looking for clear images of the person who killed my father and I got the face of the person, Luke, that did it and the nurse that helped him," I paused standing up and started to pace the room.

"Wait, so you knew it was Luke from the beginning?" she asked confused a bit.

"No I didn't, remember I didn't meet Luke until I started going to my new school, so I was surprised when I saw him, the guy but I wasn't sure, so I decided until I got a good look at Luke before I confirmed it was him," I told her.

"So the whole crush on Luke was fake?" she asked me, I blushed at her question.

"Yes, it was," I replied facing her, "I used to ask questions about him so my friends concluded that I liked him and I went along with it, it's normal for a girl to ask around about her crush."

"I had a plan to expose him but nearly got myself killed, so I decided to wait a bit, feeding information to Cedrick, I was going to get close and expose him for the snake that he is," I told Rae, a scowl on my face.

"So is your plan working?" she asked me.

"Oh it was but Nuca and Raiden had to come and mess it up, Nuca knows me so he would have become suspicious about my involvement with Luke and for Raiden, my feelings for him started to surface, so I found it hard to pretend to be falling for Luke when someone already had my heart," I told her, leaning on her shoulder.

"So what are you gonna do?" she asked me, I sighed.

"I'm gonna let the police handle it, I've had enough with this case, I just want to be with my family," I told her but she saw through my lie.

"Sure, you're gonna let the guy who threatened your family get away with more illegal activities for another decade," she deadpanned.

I raised my head scowling at her, "The police has the information they need to catch them, I don't need to be involved," I told her, getting up.

"Please Wick, we both know that they have people on the inside that can get rid of the evidence and the people who know, why aren't you getting involved," she said a bit angry at my reluctance.

"Get involved? Are you insane, I can't do that," I told her.

She rolled her eyes at me, "really so why do you help out here, you help other people get justice but you can't do it for your own parents, wow Wick," she told me scoffing.

I glared at her, she was getting on my nerves, "I'm not going to put my family in danger again Rae, I'm not repeating my mistakes," I told her.

"They're already in danger since you help me, and you are repeating your mistakes, you're not using the information you have to put Luke and his men behind bars, Rae, how long before Luke finds out that you know and kills your family huh? How long?" She pushed.

I turned away from her, shutting my eyes, she came closer.

"You know I'm right," She pushed, "why aren't you doing something, the Wick I know doesn't stay on the sidelines, she gets her hands dirty," she continued to say coming in front of me.

I kept my eyes shut, memories of the past racing through my mind, memories of my parents, memories of our time together but my mind came back to one memory, their funeral, looking into their caskets seeing them still, lifeless, eyes that used to shine dull now, never to see Teague go up or make memories with him like they did with me.

"Why Wick, why are you holding back?" she asked softly.

Tears streamed down my face as I answered her, "I'm scared," I whispered.

It was the truth, I'm scared that if I do this, I'll cause more deaths, your death, Teague's death, I wanted to the police to save you, I know that causalities would happen but that's their job they signed up for that, you didn't, my parents didn't and Teague didn't. I can't lose anyone, I've been through too much loss to cope with another.

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After giving me some words of encouragement Rae left to tell the guys that I'm leaving tomorrow and that she, Oryn and the twins are coming with me. I still haven't decided if I want to get involved again, I've already caused enough pain, can I do that once more? Raelan's right about some police officers being corrupted but I don't know if that's enough to make me risk everything again. 

Gosh, I'm being a hypocrite right now, aren't I? I would help people who I don't know but to save my family, I'm unwilling. What is wrong with me?

 I don't know what to do, three years ago I was set on getting revenge on Nuca, on Luke but now I don't know if I'm willing to risk it. 

Gosh, you sound like a coward. 

Great my conscience is coming to give me a lecture.

Don't sass me, girl!

And I'm right, you're sounding like a wimp. What's so different from the time you wanted to bring Luke down and now? You were willing to get justice for your family back then, why are you backing out now that you know that Luke is the guy you wanted? What's stopping you? 

Nothing's stopping me, there's too much at risk.

There was so much at risk three years ago, so that's no excuse and you have Raelan and the guys to help you. I know that you're scared, I'm a part of you but everyone gets scared when there's much to lose but that's not holding you back, something else is.

What's holding you back? Admit it!

No!

Say it!

"I don't want Kayden to die!" I cried out, dropping to the ground, tears streaming down my face as I accepted the reality to why I was reluctant. 

"Who's Kayden?" My head snapped up when I saw Oryn standing in my room with a plate in his hand, confusion etched into his face as he wonders who Kayden is.

Author's Note

What do you think of the plot, writing style, characters? Point out grammatical errors or places where I need to show instead of telling, please and thanks. Anything that seems that needs to fix please let me know, I'm open to feedback and criticism.